Rabbi's Blog

No two eyes are alike and no two people literally see eye to eye. There is a general understanding of concepts, philosophies, understanding of laws that by and large people agree upon, but not necessarily exactly the way I do. I think we can all agree that the way an adult views a situation will be very different than that of a child. This differentiation usually comes with greater clarity of focus as the child ages in years and matures in his thinking. But until that time comes, there will be many frustrating, exhausting and upsetting battles between parent and child, teacher and student, and for that matter, between the growing adolescent and anyone in an authoritative position. Looking back over time, I feel the teenage years were by far the worst as my kids’ brains developed their critical thinking skills, learning on-the-job skills of how to argue and rationalize through every minute detail of life.

Without going into all the details, I remember one such incident when one of my children was clearly in the puzzled wrong but fought me over an issue that my child emphatically saw differently. It was an issue of substance contrary to the many trivial things we had ‘lively discussions’ about. Due to the importance of the subject, I sought out guidance from my Rebbi.  I carefully laid out the two sides of the argument or dispute that my wife and I had with our teenage child. I was sure that my Rebbi, knowing we were in the right,  would give me some advice and clever strategy for dealing with the circumstances at hand. To our great surprise and initial disappointment, not only did he not give us any strategy or even basic advice,  in a unique way he sided with our child! My Rebbi’s words were clear: “We need to look at the situation through the child’s eyes,” using phrases such as “in his mind”; “from his perspective” and “where the child is coming from”. This was truly an eye-opener for my wife and me. Why do we, as parents, need to look at the story or situation from the kid’s perspective? At first my wife and I looked at each other bewildered. You know, like… aren’t the parents always right? And what about the notion that children should listen to what the parents say, regardless of where the child is coming from? Our puzzled look then gave way to a look of ‘uhuh’ maybe my Rebbi is right (he always is) and look at things from a different perspective, using a more objective manner, bringing our child’s input of the situation into the discussion.

We are all influenced by our peers, by our surroundings, and by the information we read and hear about. One of the most convincing of ideas and beliefs is seeing something, as the old saying goes: “seeing is believing”. The Jewish people historically have made decisions - both good and bad -  based upon circumstances that we thought were very clear. One instance which caused catastrophic damage was the image that the Satan drew for the people showing that Moshe Rabbeinu was dead after the Jews miscalculated the timing of his return down from Har Sinai. Yet, there is another ‘vision’ that appears in the Torah that helped the Jewish people in their traversing the dangers of the desert. Throughout my years of learning, I always thought the Jewish people traveled in the desert by following the Mishkan. When the Mishkan travelled, we walked, and when it stopped, we camped. The navigation system was the cloud of glory during the daytime;  I thought a great fire during the night would light up the path. Looking over the verses a lit bit closer reveals something different.

In this week’s Parshas B’Haaloscha in Bamidbar 9:15 the Torah states: “U’V’Yom Hakim Es HaMishkan Kisa He’Anan Es HaMishkan L’Ohel HaEidus, UBa’Erev Yihiyeh Al HaMishkan K’Marei Aish Ad HaBoker”: “On the day that the Tabernacle was erected, the cloud covered the Tabernacle, the Tent of Testimony. Then, in the evening, there was something that appeared to be like fire on the Tabernacle, remaining there until morning”. The narration continues in 9:16 “From then on it remained that way. There was a cloud covering it [by day], and a fire-like partition by night”. The Targum Yehonasan Ben Uziel remarks that it is possible that the cloud remained and was also there at night.  The Midrash Rabbah asks rhetorically, ”What does ‘looks like fire’ mean?” The wording teaches us that if the cloud was whitish, then the people knew that the sun was rising. When the cloud was reddish, they knew the sun was setting.

The Malbim explains that the cloud which led the Jews out during Yetzias Mitzrayim had one pillar of cloud and one of actual fire. One was used to lead them during the day and the other to continue leading them at night. Here in the desert there was only one cloud that served both during  the day and through the night, similar to what the Midrash said. This cloud in the Midbar was there leading the Jews at night, but it appeared as fire. There was a perception among the people that this nighttime pillar  was a fire, but in reality it was just the same cloud. The appearance of the cloud at night was a fire, as viewed at the end of Sefer Shmos: “The cloud of Hashem was over the Mishkan during the day, and fire in it at night, referring to the cloud itself. The cloud is the true essence of where God was found; it was  never really seen in a pillar of fire. Therefore, from this point onward it was always a cloud over the Mishkan 24/7.

Be that as it may, what was the benefit for the Jews to perceive the cloud as a fire instead of the same cloud from the daytime? The Shach (Sifsei Kohein) -  the appearance of the cloud as fire - remained even when the Israelites camped and were stationary. Initially, we thought the fire was necessary at night to light up the road when they travelled. That is not the case, as the fire (the cloud that looked like a fire) was seen even at night because nighttime is filled with fear and worry. At night, a person thinks of his sins and is nervous. The vision of seeing a fire was a protection for the Jews at night to do Teshuva as the fire would remind them of the fires of Gehinom. A preventive measure from sinning is when one thinks of the fires of Gehinom. The fire will ward off evil spirits and any bad thoughts of sin that might come to mind during the night. 

The mind is a powerful tool that perceives things that are there or may not be there. When it comes to business and secular things in life, a person will be open to hearing and listening to another’s perspective and see that person’s perception of the situation. In spiritual matters when a person is already in a position of seeing himself in a certain way, he should not leave things to his or her own perception but rather get guidance from an objective viewpoint. Let’s grow up and not act like the child who can only see it his way. Let’s rather be open to ask what the proper way of seeing and doing something is. When it comes to children, take into account their perception and empower them, but ultimately use that perception and emopowerment to lead them to the correct and true conclusions.

Ah Gut Shabbos

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky