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Parshas Matos/Masei - What Did You Say?           26 Tammuz 5777

07/19/2017 03:47:25 PM

Jul19

When I was in Yeshiva, I had a car which was nice-looking on the outside but was very temperamental on the inside. Each day, before turning on the ignition, I spoke gently to the car and said, “Please start, pretty please start,” and when it actually did decide to start, I didn’t say Baruch Hashem but rather “Attaboy,” giving some encouragement as if it were my horse. There are many forms of communication used by humans, animals, and perhaps even other living life forms. There is one type of communication, however, that brings a human being closer to Godliness - the ability to speak. Typically, we humans use our gift of speech to communicate with each other. There are times, however, when a person is overheard speaking to himself or even to an inanimate object.

It wasn’t all that long ago those hands-free devices, particularly headsets, came on the scene. When these devices first came out, it was both comical and amazing to see someone walking down the street or wandering through the grocery aisles apparently talking to himself. Frequently, we had to tell ourselves that the person wasn’t actually talking to himself; he was talking to someone on his cell phone. We have now grown accustomed to this imagery, but there are still situations where I will ask my wife, “What did you say?” I thought that my - hearing was beginning to go, but my wife typically replies, “Nothing. I am talking to myself.” At least in that situation it it’s easy to assume she is talking to me. There is another phenomenon that I notice many of us doing: many of us have a tendency to talk to ‘things’.

Take my computer, for example. It is aging, and every time I turn it on I need to give it encouragement pep talk. My computer usually cooperates when I encourage it by saying, “Come on! Turn on. You can do it. Just a little more effort.” After reading a newspaper, I find myself saying, “Goodbye paper,” as in I’m done with you and never want or need to see you again. I even caught someone kissing his smartphone, telling it that it is great. This acceptance of our automated devices which are programmed to “listen” to our questions and return instantaneous responses has now morphed into practically having a conversation with an app. There are also frustrating moments when inanimate objects get in our way or don’t permit us to do things we really need to do. When our phones, tablets, or laptops refuse to cooperate, we tend to threaten the offending device exclaiming, “I’m going to kill you!” (referring of course, to the computer). Somehow, we have become comfortable talking to these inanimate machines as if they were living creatures. What are the ramifications of our speech when we speak to ourselves out loud or express our feelings of happiness or frustration to a machine? The fine line of distinction lies in the intent of our words. Would we really smash a non-functioning computer? Would the computer care? Of course not! On the other hand, In Jewish law and thought, all speech – open or spoken only to ourselves – must be taken seriously. A person is held accountable for his or her words and statements. When faced with a grave illness or assumed certain death a person may emotionally say, “God was good to me, so I’m going to give such and such an amount of tzdakkah,” but then miraculously and thankfully that person recovers. Is that individual obligated to still give that tzdakkah? Absolutely. A commitment was made! The Talmud has many discussions regarding changing a statement or making declarations regarding an individual preparing to die who then recovers. Which statement is to be believed and upheld? These and many other forms of ambiguous speech are carefully examined to determine the impact of a person’s speech. One such ambiguous form of speech comes in the form of a “Neder” - a vow or promise. A full tractate of the Talmud, Mesechta Nedarim, is dedicated to this usage of speech and what the implications and ramifications are. One of the sources in the Torah on vows and pledges is found in the first of the two parshios we read this week.

In this week’s parshios of Matos /Masei, the Torah opens with the laws of vows. The Torah states in Bamidbar 30:3: “Ish Ki Yidor Neder LaHashem, O Hishava Shvua Lesor Isar Al Nofsho Lo Yacheil Dvaro, K’Chol HaYotzei MiPiv Yaaseh”: “If a man vows to God, or makes an oath which obligates himself, he must not break his word. He must do all that he expressed verbally.” Immediately, we take note of the negative ‘Do not break a word,’ followed by a positive ‘Do all that was expressed.’ There is a Mitzvas Asei (positive command) and a Lo SaAsei (negative command) associated with the same idea. Rav Yoel Schwartz, in his sefer Davar B’Ito, explains the mitzva to fulfill vows and oaths as a very serious matter. The world shook when God said, “Do not take my name in vain.” Words are to be taken seriously. Nevertheless, there are times when a person has regret for making a vow or just saying he will do such and such. Even though there is recourse that if he realizes later on that this was not what he wanted he can go to one sage or three ordinary individuals to annul the statement, vow, promise or custom that he was doing. However, someone who fulfills his word and does not annul it is praised.

There is a story about Rebbi Yehoshua Ben Levi related in gemara Kesuvos 77b. When R. Yehoshua ben Levi was about to die, the Satan (angel of death) was told to accede to his desires. The Satan appeared to him. R. Yehoshua ben Levi asked to see where his place will be in Gan Eden. The Satan consented. R. Yehoshua ben Levi asked for the Satan's knife, lest it scare him on the way; he gave it to him. When they got there, the Satan lifted him up and showed him his place in Gan Eden. R. Yehoshua ben Levi jumped to the other side, held onto his garment, and swore that he would not leave. God said, “If he ever annulled an oath, he will go back to the world. If not, not, he will stay in Gan Eiden. (He had, in fact, never annulled a vow.) At that point, the Satan asked him to return his knife. R. Yehoshua ben Levi refused. A voice from Heaven declared he must return it for it is needed for the world. (R. Yehoshua ben Levi returned it.)

Another case in point of how critical it is to follow through on our words is in Bava Metzia 49a. Rav Kahana received partial payment for flax and then the price went up. Rav said you must give flax according to the money you received. The agreement to sell the rest is mere words. One who retracts is not considered unfaithful. Rav says one who retracts from an oral agreement is not considered unfaithful; while Reb Yochanan says he is considered unfaithful.

The highest level of keeping one’s word is found in Makkos 24a, whereby a person should live up to the character of Rav Safra. Rav Safra spoke the truth from his heart. He once had an object for sale. While he was reciting the Shema, a buyer offered a price that Rav Safra found acceptable. However, the buyer thought that Rav Safra rejected the offer, because he received no answer from Rav Safra. In truth, however, Rav Safra could not answer because he was in the middle of Keri'as Shema. The buyer increased the offer. After he completed his prayers, Rav Safra refused the buyer's second offer and insisted upon accepting the first offer, which he had already accepted in his mind.

The Sfas Emes, Reb Yehudah Aryeh Leib Alter, explains the words “Do not desecrate your word” as follows: “Whoever does not desecrate his word, then everything that comes out of his mouth he will do. Hashem then listens and hears his prayers on the level of a Tzadik who declares and God fulfills.

If we keep to our word and back up what we say, Hashem will listen and fulfill our words. If we don’t desecrate our words, if we stand by our words, Hashem will lift us up and carry our words and commitment to fruition. Many of us say we are going to do something. It is our obligation to follow through with our commitment through even though it may be difficult to do so. If we put forth the effort, Hashem will make it all work out for us.

Ah Gut Shabbos

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky

Thu, March 28 2024 18 Adar II 5784