Rabbi's Blog

This week’s Dvar Torah is dedicated by Ronnie and Susan Masliansky in memory of Ronnie’s father Mr. Joseph Masliansky, Yosef ben Aharon on his upcoming Yarzeit 22^nd of Iyar

"In God We Trust" is the official motto of the United States. It was adopted by the U.S. Congress in 1956, replacing ‘E Pluribus Unum – ‘Out of Many, One’ -, which had been the de facto motto since the initial 1776 design of the Great Seal of the United States. The capitalized form "IN GOD WE TRUST" first appeared on the two-cent piece in 1864; it was not printed on some postal stamps until 1954 and did not appear on paper currency until 1957. Some would like to suggest it is because these words are printed on the U.S. currency that the American economy has thrived for over 100 years, and the reason why the U.S. dollar has been the benchmark for so long. However, all of that seems to be changing, and even a reference to the Ultimate Financier on any coins or paper bills does not seem to be enough to go against history, which raises nations to financial prominence for a time, and then lets them fall into a financial up and down pendulum or carousel.

In Israel today and in modern Hebrew, the word "בטחון" (Bitachon – trust) is used in several contexts. Shomrim or guards at checkpoints, entrances to communities, and entrances to major public venues typically wear jackets that have the word ‘Bitachon’ or ‘Security’ emblazoned on the back. We put our trust in things in which we feel secure.  If I have doubts about my security, then there is a lack of trust in proceeding and going forward. Often a false sense of security is assumed or given in a certain situation that can lead to devastating results. What is the basis of firm security in something, or better yet, how do we attain a great sense of security in the world?  The answer lies in how much trust someone has for another individual, a team, a structure or business, and so forth The more trust I build up in someone or something, the more secure I feel. This is an important lesson for a successful marriage. I would like to illustrate this by describing a personal feat that I have shown off only at very special occasions.

A guy whom I first met in ninth grade over time grew to become my best friend. We remained close throughout four years of high school, two years in Israel,  six and a half years as roommates while in yeshiva, plus an additional two and a half years when I was married. The name of my friend is, appropriately, Buddy.  My friendship with Buddy grew over the years, along with a trust that created a certain mutual security.  This security manifested itself in an act that most people would find uncomfortable, at least somewhat nervous, and unsure. The act required total trust and security as I performed a backwards free fall. I stood with my back to Buddy, lifted my arms, swung them round and round, and on the count of three - without looking back - would fall backwards, knowing that Buddy was there, prepared to catch me under my arms at the very moment my backside was within a fraction of an inch from the ground. After catching the full weight of my body, quickly dropping flat like a sack of potatoes, Buddy would then fling me back up onto my feet and we would repeat this a second time. This act required total trust that the ‘catcher’ would catch me and not let me crash onto the floor, possibly splitting my skull.  This was done as ‘shtick’ while dancing in front of a chosson and kallah at a wedding (including my own).

The stronger relationship I have with Hashem provides a far greater sense of security in Hashem. A few years ago, I wrote about my new-found hobby of gardening and the trust in God that is necessary. I must admit, in the worst scenario I could always buy tomatoes – after all, this is just a hobby, not my livelihood. But at the time I wrote that message, I did reference the challenge and, in a small way, also felt the pressure of how the agricultural Mitzvos of Eretz Yisrael must be so challenging. We are in the midst of a Shmittah year; many farmers in Eretz Yisroel are dealing with this very difficult mitzva of not sowing the land, allowing it to lie fallow. Every Mitzva is accompanied by some challenge, but the Mitzva of Shmittah is unique. It requires a hands-off approach and a great deal of Emunah (faith) and bitachon (trust). One may ask how and why is the observance of Shmittah being fulfilled more and more?

In this week’s Parshas Behar the Torah states in Vayikra 25:1,2 "וידבר ה' אל משה בהר סיני לאמר. דבר אל בני ישראל ואמרת אליהם כי תבואו אל הארץ אשר אני נותן לכם ושבתה הארץ שבת לה'"  “ :God spoke to Moshe at Mount Sinai, telling him to speak to the Israelites and say to them: ‘When you come to the land that I am giving you, the land must be given a rest period, a Sabbath to God’. The answer as to how farmers, how all Jews living in Israel have the strength to fulfill this mitzvah is found in the very first Rashi of the parsha. Rashi asks, ”What connection has the Sabbatical year to Mount Sinai? Were not all the commandments stated from Sinai”? Reb Zalman Sorotzkin z”l says there is a hint that coming into the land of Israel is dependent upon Har Sinai, where  the laws and statutes that the Jews accepted upon themselves took place. Dovid HaMelech in Tehillim 105:44,45 says: “And He gave them the lands of the nations, and the labor of the peoples they inherited so that they might preserve His statutes and treasure His laws, praise God”. The Chazone Ish, Rav Avraham Yeshaya Karelitz zt”l, urged the farmers - even prior to the modern establishment of the State of Israel - to renew the observance of Shmittah according to the letter of the law and not rely on the different Heteirim (Halachik  [legal] permissibility). In his opinion, there is no permissibility to plow and seed the land of Israel during the Sabbatical year. A rabbi once asked the Chazone Ish, “Isn’t there a way to consider the land ‘ownerless’ and remove the obligation from the owners?” The Chazone Ish sternly answered, ”That may be true, but the Torah is not hefker and we do not treat the Torah with Hefkeirus/frivovously. It [the Torah] cannot be treated as if it has no value. The Chazon Ish’s point was that the Torah and the Land of Israel go hand in hand. It IS the fulfillment of the mitzvos that bring kedusha, sanctity, to the land.

If and when we invest in the Torah and perform the mitzvos as stated, then  the trust that Hashem will bless us according to each mitzva that is performed is firmly built. There is a correlation between the amount of trust we have in Hashem and the blessings that come as a result. Wishing bracha and hatzlacha to those farmers who are fulfilling the mitza of Shmittah and blessing to all those who assist the farmers of Eretz Yisrael to support them during their year sustaining of kedushas Haaretz, the holiness and sanctity of Eretz Yisrael.           

This Dvar Torah is being sponsored by Ronnie & Susan Masliansky in memory of his grandfather Yehuda Leib ben Yehoshua Heshel, Mr. Louis Bogopulsky a”h on his Yahrzeit 10^th Iyar

The world’s population always varies, but in general, I would imagine it grows more than it shrinks. Rarely does the world’s population decrease, rather it is on the rise. Although death is a part of the life cycle, the closer we are to the person who has passed away, the deeper the emotional pain and depth of loss.  Today, readily-available audio and video communication  has allowed us to connect with each other more closely than ever before in the history of the world.

As the cycle of life continues, families lose loved ones. The order of nature, that  older people pass on before the younger, can turn around when the young die before the old.  My older cousins told me that none of their classmates in the 1960’s had more than two grandparents following the early years after the Holocaust. I personally did not have any biological grandmothers from birth, and one grandfather passed away when I was only six years old. The only grandparent I knew was my father’s father, who passed away when I was nineteen. This week marks the 38^th year of his passing. Unfortunately, I never had the relationships that would impact my life in any substantial way.  I never had the opportunity to observe firsthand the qualities that I would hope to emulate. We typically mourn, crying  for relatives who have passed away, because they gave us a part of their essence; when they leave us a part of us leaves as well, hence we cry for that loss.

I know that realistically, the rate of people who die and pass on does not fluctuate greatly, but it does sometimes feel that there are great, devoted leaders, contributors to betterment of the world who pass away in greater numbers than the general population at large. I recall, in 1986, Rav Yaakov Kamenetzky and Rav Moshe Feinstein died within two weeks of each other. The Steipler Gaon, Rav Yaakov Yisroel Kanievsky, was niftar (died) only seven months earlier. This year, Rav Chaim Kanievsky passed away just after Purim, and now, closer to home, three great Rabbonim who were involved in different parts of Klal Yisroel passed away within a week of each other. Rabbi Zecharia Wallerstein z”l, involved in Kiruv, passed away from an illness at the relatively young age of 64. The other two giants were men whom my wife and I knew personally. The first, Rabbi Moshe Neuman z”l, was a man who lived and breathed chinuch (education).  He was the dean of the Bais Yaakov of Queens.  Rabbi Neuman educated thousands of young ladies for a half century al Derech Yisroel Saba. Rabbi Neuman’s dedication to Torah education literally changed the terrain of Torah chinuch in Queens.  Indeed, for several families, Rabbi Neuman  educated four generations of students.  Rabbi Neuman was at the helm of Bais Yaakov of Queens from 1961 to 2011. He was the principal during the time my wife Leah and her three sisters attended.Finally, the major blow to the Klal Yisroel of America came with the news of Rav Nota Greenblatt zt”l passing away last Friday. He was the most underrated and under-the-radar Rabbi of our generation.

My wife and I did not know Rabbi Wallerstein.  However, even though I never met Rabbi Wallerstein, I met scores of men and women whose lives were enriched by him. Both my wife and I watched and listened to the hespedim/eulogies of both Rabbi Neuman and Rabbi Greenblatt. My wife listened and cried hearing about her dear principal; I listened and cried hearing and relating to the life of a great gaon/genius, Rav Greenblatt. We cried because we had a kesher/connection to them; both profoundly influenced our lives. This is not the place to describe the greatness of each man. It is sufficient to say they had an extraordinary impact on each of our lives. Even though neither of us was related to either of these great people, we absorbed lessons and teachings for life from both of them. They were not “teachers” in the classroom sense. Rabbi Neuman was my wife’s elementary school principal; Rabbi Greenblatt stayed in our home when he had business in San Diego. Learning and absorbing from a role model leaves an indelible, life-long impression  on an individual. These two Rabbis personified their positions of great role models through their actions, fulfilling one of the most famous and difficult mitzvos in the Torah. This Mitzva, according to Rabbi Akiva, the greatest generalization of the Torah, is the mitzva to love thy neighbor as thy self.

The Torah in this week’s Parshas Kedoshim in Vayikra 19:18 states: "לא תקם ולא תטר את בני עמך, ואהבת לרעך כמוך, אני ה' "   “Do not take revenge nor bear a grudge against the children of your people. You must love your neighbor as [you love] yourself, I am God”. The Ishbitzer, Reb Mordechai Leiner, in his master work the Mei Hashiloach,* explains these famous words in a fascinating, unique manner. He explains that through the mitzva of ‘love your neighbor as thyself’ God’s name becomes great! All of the goodness which is the essence of the person that God instilled within him can be transferred and given over to others. When a person influences someone else with the essence of that which Hashem has given to him, he gains the realization that  it is because he/she understands that both the giver/ influencer and the receiver/other person are created by Hashem. Behold, we all have one Father who created all of us. Why would we ever hold back doing kindness towards each other! In addition, a person recognizes that it is not his own strength or his own handiwork that accomplishes, rather it is all a gift from Hashem. By using these talents and giving them to others,we fulfill the will of his Creator. The fulfillment of this mitzva is that a person who comes to love his neighbor as himself makes God’s name great. A second critical understanding goes even more deeply: Just as a person loves himself despite knowing his many deficiencies, so too a person must love his neighbor - even after seeing that person is lacking. This is why the verse concludes in all cases with “I am God”. Hashem loves both individuals with all their drawbacks and weaknesses; we are all called God’s children.

Rabbis Greenblatt, Neuman, and Wallerstein all shared these magnificent qualities. We cried because we lost people who shared and cared for us as close relatives do. Beyond crying, we should cherish the moments and benefits we received and try to give, extend a little bit that we received and recognize Hashem’s presence more and more profoundly in the world!           

*Mordechai Yosef Leiner of Izbica known as "the Ishbitzer" Yiddish: איזשביצע (1801-1854) was a Rabbinic Chasidic thinker and founder of the Izhbitza-Radzy dynasty of Chasidic Judaism. He is best known for his work Mei Hashiloach, a popular collection of his teachings on the weekly Torah portion and Jewish holidays, published by his grandson, Rabbi Gershon Leiner. Usually printed in two volume, it has been translated into English.

Rabbi Mordechai Yosef was born in Tomashov. His father, Reb Yaakov, was the son of Reb Mordechai of Sekul. At the age of two Rabbi Mordechai Yosef wase orphaned.  He became a disciple of Reb Simcha Bunim of Peshischa where he joined Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Kotzk and Rabbi Yosef of Yartshev; both were also born in Tomashov. When Rabbi Menachem Mendel became Rebbe in Kotzk, Reb Mordechai Yosef became his disciple there; then in 1839 he became a rebbe in Tomaszów, moving subsequently to Izbica. His leading disciple was Rabbi Yehuda Leib Eiger (1816-1888), grandson of Rabbi Akiva Eiger. His students included Rabbi Zadok HaKohen of Lublin (1823–1900), his son, Rabbi Yaakov Leiner (1828–1878) and his grandson Rabbi Gershon Henoch Leiner of Radzyn.

Mordechai Yosef Leiner is buried in an ohel in the Jewish cemetery in Izbica.

There’s an old joke about a young Jewish boy going off to college who asked his father if he does well would his father buy him a car at the end of the year? The father thought about it  yes, on one condition. The son asked, sure dad, what is it? The father said, “Yes, if you promise to put on your tefillin and daven every day,  you will have that brand-new car!” The boy said, ”Great!” As he was getting ready to leave, his father reminded him, ”Son, don’t forget your tefillin.” The son immediately picked up his bag and replied, ”Of course, Dad. Got them right here with me.” One year later, returning home from college,  the son and said to his father, ”Well Dad, I’m ready for that new car you promised me.” The father said, ”Son, did you fulfill your end of the deal? Did you put on your tefillin every day?” The son replied, ”Sure did, Dad”. “Every day?” the father inquired. “Yes Dad, I put on the tefillin every day.”  The father then responded, “Oh really!? I left the keys to the brand-new car in the tefillin bag!”

It is a cute but very sad joke, one which is, unfortunately, a very telling sign of the times. A few months ago Rabbi Yoel Gold was our first scholar-in-residence following a two-year delay due to Covid.  His primary lecture on Shabbos focused on the legacy that we need to create for our children and future generations. Just as our grandparents sacrificed and created all we have today, so, too, must we provide for our progeny. An important component of the future is to tell over our story to our children and grandchildren. Rabbi Gold is all about incredible stories that take on a life of their own, vividly describing how one incident leads to another, crossing  over to another part of the world, each event, each story interconnecting with each other. He stressed that there is a story to be told regarding every situation in life, and that each and every story needs to be told. More than that, there are objects that are found, bought, sold, stolen, each of which carries amazing stories, some still unfolding, some yet to be told.  

About a week after the Shabbaton with Rabbi Gold, I received a text from a congregant who was at a swap meet and told me he saw an old pair of tefillin for sale. I asked him how much they wanted for them. He said they were asking fifty dollars, but he believed he could get them for twenty-five. I told him to try to get them for less, but  not to leave without buying those tefillin, even if they cost more than fifty dollars. He picked them up, bought them for me, and when he dropped them off, I paid him the full amount. We saved a pair of tefillin from possibly being disgraced and desecrated. Holding this pair of tefillin  took me back to Rabbi Gold’s lecture. I wondered what  story lay hidden behind these tefillin. I was deeply moved with the reality that there is surely a story, perhaps a powerful, moving story, behind these tefillin, but we are not likely to ever learn about it.

The significance that tefillin play as an important role in the Galus and Geula - the exile and redemption of the Jewish people from Mitzrayim - is understated. Although the Torah reading for the first day of Pesach is the last thirty verses from Shmos, chapter twelve, it stops short of Shmos 13 that mentions tefillin not once but twice! In Shmos 13 the Torah states: "והגדת לבנך ביום ההוא לאמר, בעבור זה עשה ה' לי בצאתי ממצרים"  “On that day, you must tell your child, ‘It is because of this that God acted for me when I left Egypt’.  What is the this the Torah referring to? The very next passuk, 13:9 states: "והיה לך לאות על ידך ולזכרון בין עניך למען תהיה תורת ה' בפיך כי ביד חזקה הוצאך ה' ממצרים"  “These words must also be a sign on your arm and a reminder in the center of your head. God’s Torah will then be on your tongue. It was with a show of strength that God brought you out of Egypt”. Then a similar verse about tefillin is repeated in Shmos 13:16: Reb Chaim Moshe Gestinski (Niftar November 1, 1952/13 Cheshvan 5713) in his sefer Nachalas Chamisha (printed 1949) explains: Yetzias Mitzrayim, going out of Egypt will be the sign to you. When the verse says על ידיך “Al Yadecha” on your hand, meaning your left. Therefore, the word ידכה  “yadcha” at the end of the section expounds, saying it means your weaker arm. Rashi and others comment that is the hint that the Mitzva is to wrap the tefillin on one’s weaker hand to show that it is not in the hands of man to do anything. Rather, the hands and arms are given the strength to perform, to do great things.  The exodus from Egypt was the sign - everyone had a certain feeling through the wonders and signs - that it was Hashem’s hand that did all of this and the power of man is really nothing without Hashem.

Although man cannot do anything without God, Hashem nevertheless gives us the ability to create something from nothing. Hashem gives us intellect and strength as the keys to accomplish. When we left Mitzrayim, we did not have anything and yet with the help of Hashem we created and built a people. The juxtaposition of tefillin to the exodus is that following the exodus we have the mitzva of tefillin, a mitzva which combines two parts of the body, the head and the arm - the head representing thinking with our intellect, the arm representing carrying out the ideas of the mind.   Pesach is a time when, on one hand, we recognize and understand that our abilities and strength come from Hashem, and at the same time the tefillin represent the thinking and action of what
Hashem has given us. Tefillin represent the story and legacy that we have the opportunity to create. It is the story of our future, a future to share with our children and grandchildren. Let us use this Pesach to tell our story that our “Tefillin” have offered us in our lifetime. With God’s help and our effort, our tefillin will not be the story left at the table of a swap meet. Rather our tefillin will have a story that speaks out from one generation to the next.

Wishing you all……

Ah Gutten Shabbos & Ah Koshern Pesach

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky

With the passing of Rav Shmaryahu Yosef Chaim Kanievsky zt”l, the Jewish world found itself at a loss. None of the eulogies could do justice to the greatness of this man. Many spoke in terms of his brilliance and how we have an obligation to fill the gap of Torah that he left behind. One of the main themes that one drew from the description of his life was how he was a “simple” Jew who just followed every single aspect of Torah and Halacha. Stories were told how he followed the directions given in all areas of Jewish law, including Shabbos, kashrus, honoring his parents, welcoming everyone with a smile, and mitzvos between man and man.

The death of a Tzadik is not merely a passing moment in time; it is an important reckoning for the Jewish people. There are several places in Torah that explain how the death of a Tzadik atones for the sins of the Jewish people and protects them from clamity. 

מיתת צדיקים מכפרת על ישראל - במסכת מועד קטן נאמר: "אמר רב אמי: 'למה נסמכה מיתת מרים לפרשת פרה אדומה? לומר לך - מה פרה אדומה מכפרת, אף מיתתן של צדיקים מכפרת'.

The death of Tzadikim Atones for Israel – The Gemara Moed Katan quotes Rav Ami: “Why was the death of Miriam juxtaposed to the portion of the Red Heifer? To teach us, just as the Red Heifer atones, so, too, the death of the righteous atones”.   מכפרת על ישראל כיום הכיפורים - בויקרא רבה נאמר עוד בענין זה: "בא' בניסן מתו בניו של אהרון, ולמה מזכיר מיתתן ביוהכ"פ? אלא מלמד שכשם שיום הכיפורים מכפר, כך מיתתן של צדיקים מכפרת"

Atones for the Jewish people like Yom Kippur – The Midrash Vayikra Rabba states: On the first of Nissan the sons of Aharon died, and why does it mention their death on Yom Kippur? To teach us that the same way the day of Yom Kippur atones, so, too, the death of the righteous atones”.

צדיק שראוי לכך נלקח על מנת לכפר על ישראל - על פטירת צדיקים מובא בילקוט לך לך דבריו של הקדוש ברוך הוא: "אמר הקב"ה לאברהם אבינו: 'בשעה שבניך באים לידי עבירות ומעשים רעים, אני רואה צדיק אחד שהוא יכול לומר למידת הדין: 'די', ואני נוטלו ומכפר עליהם'"

A Tzadik who is worthy of this is taken on condition to atone for Israel – The Yalkut Shimoni on the passing of a Tzadik says in parshas Lech L’cha the words of the Almighty are, “God said to Avraham, at a time that your children come to me with sins and terrible actions, I find one righteous person who could stand up and say to the heavenly court, ‘Enough’! And then Hashem takes him and atones for them”.

In this week’s Parshas Tazria the Torah’s main focus is about Tzoraas/Spiritual Leprosy. The Gemara Erchin 16a gives us a few reasons why a person would develop leprosy, first on his house, then on his clothing, and finally on his body. Perhaps the most famous reason a person would get Tzoraas is as punishment for speaking Loshan Hora, evil speech and slander. I find it interesting that in today’s world there is a heavy emphasis on the prevention of speaking Loshan Hora but very little about the remedy if one does speak Loshan Hora. (Thank goodness I and certainly no one else ever speak Loshan Hora! Yeh, right! Ooops, there ya go! That flippancy in it of itself is Loshan Hora. I would like to suggest through the following how to follow up and remedy this sin, which unfortunately, I believe, does not receive proper attention and  is not being addressed.   

Last Shabbos afternoon, I, too, gave a class titled ‘Reflections of Rav Chaim’. I was inspired to think a little more on fine-tuning some of the points that were highlighted by so many. I will share an incident that occurred last week which will more clearly act to illustrate the merit of Rav Chaim. Last week I was speaking with someone, and he said that such and such a person was at the wedding of my son in Baltimore a few months back. I quickly said, ”No he wasn’t.” We went back and forth until I remembered he was at the wedding. I quickly corrected myself and said ”Yes, I was mistaken.  He was at the wedding, I remember during the meal he came over to me and wanted to tell over a great dvar Torah that he had come up with.” I’m sure you know that I love to hear words of Torah, but it was not the time or place; I had to gently suggest that I would call him in a few days to hear all about it. (I did call him a few days later to listen to his words.)  My dear readers, by me repeating the way I remembered the gentleman at the wedding, is blatant lashon hora. There was NO need for me to repeat that, I should have said, yes, I remember he was at the wedding and close my mouth! It dawned upon me how there is so much emphasis on the prevention of the sin of Lashon hora, but much less attention on the correction. Therefore, to be true to my commitment, the very next day I called the gentleman and told over the entire incident and asked forgiveness. 

.אם אין מתעוררים לתשובה רעה באה לעולם על רעיון זה, שכפרת מיתת צדיקים מועילה רק עם ההתעוררות לתשובה, מבואר בדברי השל"ה הקדוש: "ובזה מתורצים שני מאמרים דסתרי אהדדי. רבותינו ז"ל אמרו (מועד קטן כח א) "מיתת צדיקים מכפרת". ובפרק חלק (סנהדרין קיג ב) אמרו, "צדיק אבד מהעולם, רעה באה לעולם", שנאמר (ישעיה נז, א) "הצדיק אבד ואין איש שם לב, ואנשי חסד נאספים באין מבין, כי מפני הרעה נאסף הצדיק'. אלא, לא קשיא, כשאין מתעוררים לתשובה רעה באה לעולם, וכשמתעוררים לתשובה אזי מיתתו מכפרת".

If we are not awakened to repent, bad things will come to the world – On this topic  - that the death of Tzadikim atones for the sins of the generation - such deep loss only helps when accompanied by an arousal of repentance. The Shela”h HaKodosh writes, “…and with this we can resolve an apparent contradiction of two statements. The Gemara Moed Katan 28a states that the death of the Tzadik atones while the Gemara Sanhedrin 113b states when a Tzadik is lost from this world, bad comes to the world. As it states in Yeshayahu 57:1 “The righteous man has perished, but no one takes it to heart, and men of kindness are taken away, with no one understanding that because of the evil the righteous man has been taken away.” An apparent contradiction arises:  does the Tzadik save the world, or is the Tzadik lost from the world? Rabbi Yitzchok Breitowitz answered this question with the explanation of the Alshich Hakadosh. The Alshich says a Tzadik truly perishes when nobody grows as a result of his passing (I don’t pay attention). But if the passing of the Tzadik is the medium by which I become a different, indeed a better person, then the Tzadik still has an existence permanence in the world: his influence continues to operate to elevate, to lift each of us”.    

Sadly, there are horrible things happening in our day and age;  we need to pay attention to the passing of Tzadikim such as Rav Chaim. We ask that he and all the greats going back to the patriarchs continue to be a Meilitz Yosher, the ambassadors and advocates of the living before God in the highest court to protect Klal Yisral. But we must realize, asking is not enough. We each need to improve in order to make his passing worthy of his protection.

Ah Gutten Shabbos

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky

How I get dressed in the morning depends entirely upon my weight. The size of my clothing not only go up or go down, rather it also changes how I wear the clothing. My button-down shirts need to expand at the seams and my pants will vary up and down my waistline. On the positive side, I have found that my socks fit all the time, and if the shoe fits, wear it. One outer accessory that I wear all the time, but others may never wear while still others wear only on certain occasions, is a necktie. Even a necktie needs to be adjusted, knotting by  starting in various positions to ensure the tie is not too long or too short. My bowties need to be adjusted in the width, coordinated with my weight as it goes up and down! I have been fighting this battle (The battle of the bulge) for a long time and I do not even see a ceasefire on the horizon. In life, the advice we give is sometimes not to fight to win the battle but to win the war! Which somehow brings me to another character of clothing, our arsenal.  

Correct me if I am wrong, but I estimate the majority of times the word “wardrobe” is used to describe the clothing of a woman, not necessarily the attire of a man, at least not mine. The official definition and etymology of the word “wardrobe” appeared in the English language in the early 14th century. It originated from Old French words warderobe, wardereube and garderobe, in which "warder" meant "to keep, to guard" and "robe" meant "garment". My take on the etymology of the word is that it’s fairly well aligned  with “War D’ Robe” -  it’s a constant war that goes on with the robe or clothing I attempt to conquer.. While it is true that clothing and manners do not make the man, however, when he is made, the stuff we choose to wear greatly improve his appearance. The great Chasidic masters emphasize the importance of proper, almost elegant attire, especially on Shabbos and Yom Tov. But even during the week a person needs to be presentable as each of us is the embodiment of Tzelem Elokim - created in the image of God.

When setting up a home, there is a halachik recommendation to affix a mirror at the entrance/ exit (the front door), to give a person one last lookover before leaving the house to be among people. The need to straighten a hat, to fix a tie, to ensure clothing is both clean and presentable all combine to make us appropriately attired to the outside world. Clothing also defines us as people. Uniforms are worn to identify someone’s business or type of work being done.  Police officers, fire fighters, nurses, doctors, members of the military, athletes, used car salesmen, technicians, and so forth, all wear uniforms or appropriate clothing that indicate their line of work and expertise. In addition, a uniform is a sign of belonging and identifying with a certain group. As you are reading this now - either on Purim day or just after - you witnessed and perhaps even participated in dressing just a little differently than you typically tend to do on any other day of the year.

One of the most prominent customs practiced on Purim is to dress up in costume. This custom was actually mentioned in the Rishonim, the writings of the early leading scholars who lived from the 11^th to the 15^th centuries.  In fact, the Rema, Rabbi Moshe Isserles (1530–1572),   

 a Talmudist and noted expert in halacha – Jewish law, wrote that it is acceptable on Purim for men to dress up as women, even though this seemingly violates the prohibition in Devarim 22:8 "A man's clothes shall not be on a woman, and a man shall not wear women's clothes". Others mention that is customary to dress up as non-Jews, although this violates the prohibition in Vayikra 18:3 “don't go in their ways".  One explanation regarding this custom is the prohibition to be likened to non- Jews exists at several levels. In general, this prohibition, like other Torah prohibitions, should not stand in the way of danger, and indeed the Shulchan Aruch in Yoreh Deah 157:2 writes that a person may dress up like a non-Jew to avoid being identified as a Jew if Jews are being attacked. However, in the previous Halacha it states: “…if there is a decree for Jews to dress like non-Jews in order to make us lose our distinctiveness, then we are forbidden to change our dress even in the face of danger”.

At the time of Purim, the decree of Haman was directed against all Jews. It is true that the stated reason behind the decree was Haman's claim in the Megillah 3:8 that we were a people who did not keep the king's laws. This, however, was not Haman's true motivation, and in any case the decree applied to all Jews. In this case, dressing up as a non-Jew would have been permissible. And so, the custom to dress up as non-Jews reminds us that this practice would have been permissible at the time of the original miracle due to the unique nature of Haman's decree. Another possible explanation is that the non-Jews at that time likened themselves to Jews, as the Megillah 8:17 states: 'And many of the common people Judaized themselves’. We both commemorate and mock this insincere, purely external adherence to Judaism by adopting a purely external likeness to non-Jews while internally remaining fully devoted to our faith.  More significant, there are other times that changing of clothing was not only important but imperative.

In this week’s Parshas Tzav the Torah states in Vayikra 6:4 "ופשט את בגדיו ולבש בגדים אחרים, והוציא את הדשן אל מחוץ למחנה אל מקום טהור"  “He shall then take off his vestments, and put on other garments. He shall then take the ashes to a ritually clean place outside the camp”. The Chassidic master, Rebbi Moshe of Kobrin (1784–1858), explains the removing of the vestments is when a person reveals himself by taking off his outer or exterior layer and fixes the sins of the inner layer of the neshama, the soul. It is upon him to search through his deeds and heal the blemishes and put on ‘other’ types of clothing. The removing of the stained and heavy garments and be replaced with light, clean, new clothing that is free of sin. This is part of the Teshuva process which never really ends but is always a constant battle; therefore, the changing of the garments is never ending. It is a war against the Yetzer Hora, using certain types of clothing to benefit us in the repentance process, ultimately growing closer to Hashem. Therefore, we are constantly changing, ridding ourselves of one sin, working on the next one, to eventually change that one as well.

My hope, prayer, and bracha for everyone is to have a full wardrobe - an arsenal to fight the Yetzer Hora, the evil inclination – to properly dress ourselves inside and out so as to make us the men and women who are proud to stand in front of God!

Ah Freilichin Purim & Ah Gutten Shabbos,

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky

I would like to share two personal highlights experienced on my recent trip to Israel - the first while visiting Yeshiva Neveh Zion, and the second was a visit with Rabbi Wein. I had to meet someone at Yeshiva Neveh Zion, and while there  the Mashgiach asked me if I would speak to the boys and share some words of encouragement and inspiration. I agreed. The next day I spoke to the boys and told them that I had attended Neveh Zion forty years ago. I explained that although I am three times their age and in a very different life situation, we nevertheless share a common bond of being Neveh brothers!  Each of us, across the generations, share in the history of Neveh:  I contributed to the Neveh story in its sixth year of existence and now, forty years later each of them is now continuing that same legacy. Some of us laid the foundation, the first floor, of this beautiful yeshiva, and now these bright, enthusiastic yeshiva bochrim continue to build, adding on the skyscraper. In truth, I received more chizuk/strengthening from my visit speaking with them than they did listening to me. I re-connected to the Mash Rabbi Blumenfeld who was a talmid/student of Rav Wolbe. I connected to my past to build for my future. Having a Rebbi is so critical not only for the Torah he teaches today, but for the connection and continuous link he provides to the mesorah of previous generations.

My visit with Rabbi Wein is always special and dear. Here, again, is a someone who always emphasized his connection to the Europe of Torah giants through his Rabbeim who arrived prior to the Holocaust. Rabbi Wein always remarks that when he saw his Rebbi, he was not only seeing and hearing the man in front of him, he was also seeing and hearing his Rebbi’s Rebbi and beyond. Rabbi Wein’s passion for Jewish history is his contribution to bringing the Jewish people back together. The adage of “history repeats itself” is nothing new to us, but unfortunately, we still don’t seem able to learn the lessons of history. There are few individuals whose words written today still  prove to be relevant tomorrow. How rare it is that words written over one hundred fifty years ago remain profoundly relevant today. The writings of the great Rav Samson Raphael Hirsch fall into this rare place of relevance and brilliance If I can be so bold, I would say the writings of a Rav Hirsch in our day and age could be seen in the writings of Rabbi Berel Wein. I will share an important, timeless message from Rabbi Wein. Although this message was written almost thirty years ago, it is profoundly important and meaningful today. I will preface his words with a backdrop from the Parsha.

This week’s Parshas Pekudei concludes sefer Shmos and the erection of the Mishkan. The last five parshios of Shemos dealt with the building of the Mishkan, the fashioning of the utensils needed in the service, and the vestments of the Kohanim who would perform the Avoda in the Mishkan/Tabernacle/sanctuary. All the laws of Shabbos are derived from the process of the building and operating of the Mishkan. The Jewish people followed the work ethic of Hashem and worked six days, but when it came to Shabbos, they wanted to continue building God’s house. The response was an absolute ”No”, and hence any melacha/work associated with the Mishkan became forbidden as the 39 laws of Shabbos. Pekudei is a continuation of Vayakhel where Moshe gathers the Jewish people to teach a law of Shabbos. Why was it necessary to gather all the people? Moshe’s voice could have reached everyone while still in their own tents. Why force everyone to come together? The following is Rabbi Wein’s clear and searing message in connecting the gathering and Shabbos:   

“There is a public expression of religion and a private one. There are many times when one is compelled to participate in a public expression of religious faith – synagogue prayer services, for example – when one would rather find a more private and discreet fashion to serve the Creator. It must be admitted that it is much more difficult to feel spiritual when surrounded by the many then when alone with one’s own self. Many great Jews, even rabbis, have spent time in their lives purposely isolated from the world in order to search for themselves, pavingtheir unique path to their Creator. But Judaism is, overall, not a monastic faith and does not allow Jews to easily substitute any form of private practice for public duties and practice. In today’s Torah reading Moshe calls together the entire Jewish people – Vayakhel Moshe – in order to remind them of the importance of the observance of the Sabbath. Moshe’s public statements are meant also to reinforce the public nature of Jewish practice and to make clear that Sabbath is not only a private matter but a public Jewish expression of faith and national identity as well.

 In matters of the Sabbath, the halacha itself differentiates between private behavior and public behavior. The position of Jewish tradition against Chilul Shabbos B’Farhesya, the public desecration of the Sabbath, is far more critical than its judgments against private failings in this matter. Public desecration of the Sabbath is the road to Jewish disaster. This has been proven over and over in our history. The tragedy of American Jewry did not begin with intermarriage and non-Jewish grandchildren. Its roots lie in the early public destruction of the Sabbath already in the late nineteenth century.  And it was not only the desecration itself, it was also the acceptance of the public desecration of the Sabbath by the Jewish “establishment” of this country that paved the way for today’s terrible and heartbreaking problems. Jewish community centers openly violating the Sabbath, Jewish organizations holding meetings, conventions and other public gatherings that almost do not allow Sabbath observance and attempting to “protect” Judaism by permitting Sabbath desecration have brought us to the intermarriage crisis. Even though the tactics over the struggle to prevent automobile traffic in religious neighborhoods in Jerusalem leave much to be desired, there is no doubt that the goal of a more public observance of the Sabbath in the Jewish state is a worthy and necessary one.

The public aspect of Jewish observance, unfulfilling as it may sometimes be, colors and shapes our attitudes towards our private faith as well. Where there is no public Judaism there will eventually, and rather sooner than later, be no private Judaism either. The Haskalah preached: “Be a Jew in your home and a person of the world in public.” A great slogan, but a recipe for Jewish disaster. The “person of the world in public” lost the ability to “be a Jew in your home”. Such is the hard lesson of Jewish history, especially in this century”.

Shabbos is the key to Jewish survival as a people, as families, and as an individual. We need to step up our Shabbos game to ensure our families’ Jewish survival. There are two aspects to Shabbos: Zachor and Shamor. Sure, we may be fulfilling the Shamor by not violating the actual law, but are we fulfilling the spirit of the laws of Shmiras Shabbos? Are we just getting by with the basic concept of Zachor Shabbos? We need to go out of our way to strengthen both Zachor and Shamor - both in the public view and internally in the home. Through this effort we will ensure that our future will connect to our past and carry us on into the future generations of a strong, united Klal Yisroel. Every one of us should commit to stronger observances. Collectively we will be stronger and through this strength we will say IN SHUL TOGETHER LOUD AND CLEAR, “CHAZAK CHAZAK V’NISCHAZEIK!”     

Ah Gutten Shabbos,

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky

Being a Rabbi in a mid-tier city such as San Diego has many pros and cons. Although, if you analyze most situations, every pro can be the con and each con can be the pro. One of my standard quips when necessary to report good news and bad news to my class is to ask, “Which do you want to hear first, the good news or the bad news?” In truth, it really doesn’t make a difference which one they pick.  For example, if they respond, ”We want the bad news first, “I reply, ”The bad news is I will be missing class next week…”Then they ask,  “So, what is the good news?” “The good news is I will be missing class next week!” In truth, this is consistent with any pro and con, both being  good and bad.

In many smaller Jewish communities, there are those who wear many different hats in the community. For many years I taught a mini class here and there in the local Jewish high schools. This year I was offered the responsibility of teaching a Gemara shiur/class in the local boy’s high school on a regular Monday to Thursday schedule. I personally feel a great sipuk/self-satisfaction from teaching these young men. They are all very bright, energetic, and best of all they laugh at my corny jokes! What more can any rabbi or rebbi ask for? Of the minyan, quorum, of boys in the class, invariably has someone either going out to the bathroom, being absent, needing to get a drink, studying for an upcoming test in another class, checking the inside of their eyelids, or actually focusing on getting a very up-close look at the page of Gemara being discussed. This list works on a rotating basis, with each student taking a turn here and there. There is an incredible commonality that threads its way through all these young men. They are mature enough to realize that I know what they are up to, and they feel disappointed in themselves when disappointing me. Mind you, I do not need to even say anything to them after one of them takes his turn selecting one of the choices listed above.  Invariably, the offender(s) approach me either after class or prior to the next day’s class earnestly expressing the consistent and identical message,  “Rabbi, I’m so sorry  for my behavior. Tomorrow I am going to do better!” They each recognize and admit to the fact that they’ve stumbled and fallen. I offer them encouragement by telling them it is ok, tomorrow is another day, and another opportunity. It is not the falling down or the failing that is the problem, rather the problem is if a person falls, he must get right back up. 

Another classic rule I have consistently offered to my students over the years has been after taking a test and then returning the test to each of them,  they had to review, study, and then return their test with all of the correct answers. Following that, they had to retake the exact same test so that they could demonstrate to me - and, more importantly, to themselves that they now had processed and truly learned the material. I am not interested in grades; my goal is to motivate every student to truly work through and understand the required material. Falling and erring is human; it is not a crime. But if a person does not correct himself, then that is sinful. A student who makes an effort to figure out what he or she is missing and chooses to learn and to ultimately master the information earns acknowledgement of that effort and growth. The Torah is replete with great leaders who have fallen but rebounded; the process of falling and then getting up is a major ingredient required for greatness. Probably the greatest of the many examples of falling and then getting back up found throughout all of Tana”ch occurs in this week’s Torah reading.

In this week’s Parshas Ki Sisa the Torah describes the unfolding events of the Eigel HaZahav, the sin of the golden calf. The Torah in Shmos 32:1 states: "וירא העם כי-בשש משה לרדת מן ההר, ויקהל העם על אהרן ויאמרו אליו קום עשה לנו אלוקים אשר ילכו לפנינו כי-זה משה האיש אשר העלנו מארץ מצרים לא ידענו מה-היה לו"  “Meanwhile, the people began to realize that Moshe was taking a long time to come down from the mountain. They gathered around Aharon and said to him, ”Make us an oracle (god) to lead us. We have no idea what happened to Moshe, the man who brought us out of Egypt.” In order to more deeply appreciate this current situation, we need to look back and review how and what brought the Jewish people to this point. What was the reason that caused the Jewish people to gather around Aharon? What did they want from him?

There are two approaches and differences of opinion which explain why the Jewish people demanded of Aharon to produce “something” in Moshe’s absence. One opinion was that they were asking for an outright idol to worship - no what ifs about it. The second opinion was a simple request for a leader to replace Moshe to continue to lead them on their way. If you think about the two choices, who in their right mind, in the face of so much which has been done by Hashem for the Jewish people, would  not judge the situation favorably.The Jewish people missed Moshe; they only wanted a leader. Could we ever think they wanted to outrightly worship an idol after hearing the commandment “Thou shalt not have any other gods..?”. Because of this we are forced to say that the people who left Egypt and clearly witnessed the awesomeness of God just wanted a new leader. They wanted Aaron to make a way to replace Moshe; they did not want to substitute or to take away the place of God. Simultaneously, the Jews were constantly being drawn back to the culture and influence of Mitzrayim. Despite seeing the open miracles of Hashem, the people still considered the ways of the Egyptians - their witchcraft, sorcery, and their strange practices. This pull was so strong that  they turned away from their good ways, choosing instead to follow the bad ones.

Tracking the history, the Jewish people continued the pattern of flipping from believing to questioning. As we see from Moshe showing the people the signs with his staff, they  replied in Shmos 4:31 “The people believed”. Then, only a few verses later in 5:21 “Let God look at you [Moshe] and be your Judge”. Later, we find the Jewish people, freed from Egypt, openly believing, yet they again began to rebel before crossing over the sea. At the end of Shmos 14:31 “They believed in God and in His servant Moshe”, only to be challenged later in the quest for water in Shmos 17:7 “Is God with us or not?” The people were constantly questioning and doubting, recalling the strength that Moshe had performing all these miracles, while failing to give the credit to Hashem. The problem was that so long as Moshe was around, they didn’t have the audacity to challenge him, but now that he had seemingly gone missing they began to openly question the situation. Moshe had ascended the mountain; he should have come back down in a day, but he didn’t. To the Jews (being fueled by the Eirev Rav) Moshe was just a human being, a mortal who, they surmised, had possibly been burned in a fire,  was captured, died, or anything else. Now they no longer wanted a human being; they wanted something stronger and better - a God that would tell them the future and bring it about.

At the end of the day, Moshe returns after the creation of the idol. Three thousand Jews died in this episode. We witness the Jewish people falling to their Yetzer Hora and, finally, getting back up after seeing the truth. The Jewish people committed crime after crime by giving Moshe - and God - a hard time - (Hashem tolerated it). They believed that if Moshe were no longer alive, they had to take some action in order to reach God.  They were not yet able to understand that we each have direct access to God; there is never a place for an intermediary. They did not sin, however, because they did get back up and righted the path from which they had strayed.

 We all fall from time to time in our religious observance and avodas Hashem. We must always remember to get up, to address so that the falling does not turn into a sin. If and when we fail and fall, immediately rise up to correct the misdeed. Shlomo HaMelech says a person falls seven times and can always get up. Hopefully, I can take the lesson and learn from my students, about feeling bad when having fallen down to immediately correct it by saying tomorrow I will be better! 

There are times when we plan things with care but end up with not being able to make our plans happen.  On the other hand, there are times when we need something to happen, but do not think this will come to fruition.  Then, lo and behold, that which we wanted, but did not think was going to happen actually occurred! That familiar, old Yiddish adage, “Der Mentsch Tracht un Gott Lacht,” loosely translated as “Man Plans and God Laughs,” applies to the negative and also to the positive. Despite our most careful planning, the ‘Road of Life’ tends to be unpredictable. We might have a well-planned road trip and destination strategies, but scenic new vistas might beckon us, or unforeseen roadblocks could deter us. Typically, we carefully plan (and we need to plan) to go somewhere or look forward to some upcoming event, and for whatever reason God thought otherwise, and these plans did not come to be. On the other hand, one must look at the situations that appear quite gloomy yet end up working out - despite our negative mindset.

“Der Mentsch Tracht un Gott Lacht is a powerful phrase.  It strengthens our Emunah, our faith and belief in Hashem.  Sometimes our plans don’t work out; sometimes they work out perfectly.  At all times, they always work out according to the will of Hashem.

On a recent trip, I experienced this reverse concept no less than three times.  The first experience was taking the red eye out of San Diego and being delayed because of a computer glitch. That in it of itself wouldn’t be so bad except for the fact that the previous day’s flight had the same issue and was cancelled. At this point we were reaching the curfew, the time when flights can no longer depart out of Lindbergh field, San Diego’s airport. I had resigned myself to the fact we would deplane and decide to fly the next day or cancel the trip altogether. Lo and behold, there was an announcement over the PA system telling the flight attendants to prepare for takeoff. I could not believe it! The plans had completely turned around in my head.

The second experience occurred as a direct result of the delay of the flight. I always manage the precise timing of plane arrival, deplaning, collecting luggage, getting to the car rental area, checking out the reserved  rental car and, in this case, driving to Lakewood, all planned in order to make it on time to join a decent minyan. Having been delayed, we were running exactly ninety minutes behind schedule and needed to squeeze in a minyan  before going to an appointment I had scheduled.  In short, I had very little flexibility. With a few phone calls, I decided to take a hit and miss minyan at the latest time possible. Once again, bingo! I caught the only minyan that would accommodate all the necessary details I required.

The third situation (although a bit different) occurred on Shabbos morning as we awoke to see over a foot of beautiful, glistening blankets of snow. Not being too well prepared for that kind of winter storm, my grandkids and I assumed I would stay home and not go to Shul. No way!  Donning my inferior winter gear, we prepared to make the trek to Shul and see if God had different plans for me that morning.  

My oldest son-in-law was raised in a brutal winter city; he is always well-prepared for these kinds of storms. The fresh snow was about mid-calf deep, and I only had the usual waterproof over-the-shoe rubbers/galoshes that would cover my shoes but nothing above my ankle. For those who have experienced walking in the snow know, as you step down, the surrounding snow caves in and covers whatever else is exposed. I recalled an old phrase, “in the footsteps of our forefathers,” observing the deep footsteps my son in law created by going first. Then, just as I imagine one would walk through a mine field, I carefully stepped into the exact same footstep that my son-in-law had imprinted in the snow. This plan worked, and by putting forth this effort I was able to get to and from Shul with minimal cold/wet/icy impact of the snow on the ground. I returned home and gleefully related to my attending audience how another plan or negative experience turned out positive, transforming from failure-to-execute to fulfilling that which I did not think was going to happen. This is not exclusive to learning or davening but to every facet of life. I would even bet that Moti did not expect the Bengals to upset the Chiefs in Arrowhead. In his mind, during his seven hour drive to the game he never really thought or expected a win, and once again the outcome was so much greater than he anticipated!

All of this could not have been topped off in a better way than from an insight my youngest son-in- law immediately showed me regarding  why all these situations connect to a higher level. In this week’s Parshas Terumah, the Torah describes the building of the Mishkan, the portable Sanctuary. The Torah lists the different Kelim/articles that were used in the service of Hashem: the Ark, Shulchan, Laver, and different covers. My son-in-law pointed out a beautiful understanding of the Aron, the Ark. In Shemos 25:12 the Torah states: "ויצקת לו ארבע טבעת זהב ונתתה על ארבע פעמתיו, ושתי טבעת על צלעו האחת ושתי טבעת על צלעו השנית"  “Cast four gold rings [for the ark], and place them on its four corners:* two rings on one side, and two on the other side”. There are opposing views of where these “corners” were located. The Radak and Targum explain Pa’Amosov as corners. Rashi states that the rings were at the very top of the Ark. Based upon the Gemara Shabbos 92a, they were 2 1/3 handbreadths (7 inches) from the top of the Ark. Ramban and Rabeinu Bachya state that the rings were at the very bottom of the Ark. The Ibn Ezra and Abarbanel maintain that the Ark had legs and the rings were on its feet. The Ibn Ezra explains, and I quote as follows: THE FOUR FEET THEREOF. “I searched all of Scripture and did not find the word pa’am (foot) used in the sense of corner. It is always employed in the sense of a foot. We thus read in Yeshayahu 26:6: Even the feet of the poor, and the steps (pa’ame) of the needy;.In Tehilim 85:14 Dovid HaMelech says, “I shall make His footsteps (pe’amav) a way”, and in Shir HaShirim 7:2 Shlomo HaMelech says,”How beautiful are thy steps” (pe’amayich). There are many other instances, and I was therefore forced to explain that the ark had feet, for it would be disrespectful for the ark to sit on the ground. Later, in Sefer Yehoshua, the Navi describes how those who carried the Aron/Ark, were, in actuality, being carried by the Aron. The Aron had feet and IT carried everyone else!

The Aron, which housed the luchos/tablets, and the Torah represent everything God stands for. Although we explained that the Aron had legs and carried itself, it is the power of Hashem that carries us all wherever we go. The lesson of the Aron is if we attempt to do a mitzva or to do the right thing, Hashem will lift us up -  physically and spiritually -  to help us succeed in all our endeavors. As we walk in the footsteps of the Torah, we must remember that the legs of the Aron take us where we need to be. .

Ah Gutten Shabbos

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

Raising a Community, a Family and Ourselves along with Developing a Torah Personality can be purchased from me directly or by clicking here via my author page at Mosaica Press.

It does not take much for Jews to come up with reasons to celebrate an event and use it as an excuse to eat! The rabbis explained there is no true joy unless one has wine and meat. Of course, wine and meat have been highlighted for their spiritual purpose, going back to the time of the Beis HaMikadash, the Holy Temple:  wine was used as libations for the altar and meat was from the sacrificial offerings. So, it is only today, lacking the Temple, that we substitute all other foods for celebratory reasons, but even during the time the Beis HaMikdash was standing we looked forward to eating  as a means of celebrating with simcha and joy.

One of the reasons Yitzchok Avinu asked Eisav to bring him food was not because he was hungry. Think about it,  his wife, Rivka, overheard the entire conversation and direction that Yitzchok had with Eisav. If Yitzchok was hungry, he easily could have asked Rivka for lunch! Apparently, it was  by design that Eisav prepared the food and Yitzchok became full and satisfied from that specific food. Rabbeinu Bachya explains that a person is able to offer a more complete blessing, and, more importantly, one that will come to fruition when accompanied by a special meal. So clearly, goodness and blessing can be brought to a higher, more complete level through a full stomach. Hence, food and drink (in proper measure) are an integral part of our culture. You may correctly comment at this point that food is a component of every culture. Here, too, I am not speaking of the culture in terms of cuisine, but more specifically in the spiritual sense. The purpose of a Jew is to use food to bring us closer to God, the same way as was  in the Beis HaMikdash.  

On Simchas Torah, the last person called to conclude the Torah is called “Chosson Torah” while the person honored with the first reading of Bereishis is called “Chosson Bereishis”. Both aliyos occur with great fanfare and the spreading out of a talis over the bimah, creating a Chuppah a wedding canopy. Just as a wedding between a bride and groom, celebrated with a festive meal, so too a Chosson - or Chattan  - the groom of the Torah also is accompanied by a reception to celebrate the “wedding” the groom has with the Torah, his “bride”. The minhag Yisrael, the custom in the Jewish world, is for these two individuals to provide a kiddush either on the day of Simchas Torah or another Shabbos during the year.

In life there are always two ways of looking at a situation or an event. A few examples: the celebrating of an anniversary could be viewed that another year of marriage has passed, or it is the re-creation of a new year of married life on the horizon. Likewise, when we finish a Mesechta/tractate of the Talmud, we not only finish but immediately begin the next Mesechta in the cycle. On a personal level, Parshas Yisro is my anniversary for writing this weekly message. It is a celebration of completing twelve years and at the same time starting the thirteenth cycle. Shavuos and Simchas Torah are recognized for the day the Torah was given and the completion of the Torah reading cycle. Nevertheless, there is more to the celebrating of an event with just food. Rather, there is a bond, a deep connection that we are focusing on,  creating a joy among all of the celebrants. Parshas Yisro highlights the story of the giving of the Torah and the symbolism of the marriage between Hashem and the Jewish people.

In this week’s Parshas Yisro the Torah states in Shmos 19:8 "ויענו כל העם יחדו ויאמרו כל אשר דבר ה' נעשה, וישב משה את דברי העם אל ה'"  “All the people answered as one and said, All that God has spoken, we will do”. The Jewish people answering was the commitment to the marriage of the Jewish people to the Torah and Hashem. The key element in this holy union was the acceptance and commitment to follow the Torah and observe the Mitzvos. If the Torah is observed, then Hashem’s presence is present in the home. The guideline of the Torah is what creates a smooth and meaningful ride through life. When I process the word ‘smooth’ relating to life, I understand it to mean there will be a tranquil home, a home filled with peace -  shalom bayis. Peace in the home, however, is not limited to marital harmony; it extends to every aspect of family dynamics. Having a house imbued with Shalom Bayis means there is tranquility between parents and children, among siblings, and between the parents themselves. Furthermore, Shalom Bayis exists when other people, such as relatives, guests and even strangers come into your house. How do we react and behave? If a Torah environment is primary, then Shalom Bayis will permeate all who are in the house. 

There is an old saying, “happy wife happy life”. This saying should be expanded to include all aspects of our lives.  A happy person will have a happy life. Mental health professionals have found people who lead tranquil, calm lives and have a peaceful home will live a happy, more productive, fulfilling life. Shalom Bayis does not necessarily mean there are not differing opinions and subtle arguments. Rather, Shalom is something to work on, something to be achieved. The Talmud is replete with disagreements, arguments among the great sages of their time. With this said, never do we find a hatred or animosity.  To the contrary, there was always love and respect shown among them.

Parshas Yisro is the crossroads, the anniversary of the story of the great wedding that took place between the Jewish people and the Torah. There are times when the house has its challenges. There are times in all our lives when we may need to seek out help in order to strengthen our shalom bayis.  At any time, I am always available to help couples with even very small issues; correcting, working out solutions to small issues avoids their growing into big ones.  An anniversary is an opportunity to look back at what we’ve gone through and to look forward to what we need to accomplish. The key element is to know how we bring that ‘Shalom’ back into the fray. An anniversary, birthday or any day of reckoning looks back to the beginning.

For Shalom Bayis, we look back to the day we walked into that bayis/home. There was marital bliss and happiness. Think back to the principles and values that each spouse brought into their home. We go back to the blessing that was showered upon the young couple - that they should merit to build a Bayis NeEman B’Yisrael, a true home among the Jewish people. Just as the groom is about to slide the ring onto the finger of his bride he declares, הרי את מקודשת לי בטבעת זו, כדת משה וישראל"  “Behold you are betrothed to me with this ring, according to the laws of Moshe and Israel”. It is by the laws of the Torah upon which this marriage will be based. God’s presence and Shechina rested over the mountain at the time of the giving of the Torah. It is therefore a requirement for Shalom Bayis to exist with Hashem’s Shechina resting over the home as a result of the Torah being part and parcel of that home. May we all merit Shalom Bayis in our personal homes and may Klal Yisrael merit Shalom in the House of Israel through our dedication and learning of Hashem’s Torah.

Ah Gutten Shabbos

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky

Leadership is, at times, judged for taking a stance on an issue, and, on occasion, for not taking a stance on an issue. Perhaps ‘taking a stance ‘is not the best choice of language, especially regarding the topic of discussion below.  Perhaps a better choice of words would be to comment or choose not to comment on issues which swirl around the world, and, more specifically, swirl around the Jewish world at large. I share this message with some trepidation. Too often a writer or speaker leaves a point or two out of the discussion, leading the reader or listener opportunity to fill that void,  resulting in criticism for the omission.   A writer must be very careful, as, unlike the spoken word, the written word remains  for eternity. Even today, when so many things are recorded, one must be extremely careful not only to cross the T’s and dot the I’s, but to also ensure that no essential details are omitted while making the complex effort to omit details which can later be misconstrued or taken out of context.

With this introduction, I arrived at another dilemma. We, here in San Diego, are blessed and cursed by living ’out of town’. Living in an ’out of town’ community causes challenges of living a life without all the Jewish amenities that are typically readily available in a larger Jewish, and particularly religious, population.  On the other hand, we ‘out-of-towners’ are blessed to be insulated from some of the major distractions and challenges facing larger “frum” Jewish communities. With this said, today’s world is starkly different, not only in the Jewish world but for everyone, thanks to the Internet. This is not a referendum on the Internet (otherwise how would you be reading this on-line); I am simply stating a fact that the world has become much smaller. We can now tap into the shmuess/chatter and news of every Jewish community throughout the world with a few strokes of a keyboard.

I do not know how many of my readers follow news that comes out of Chareidi, Chaisidic or Litvish circles, but it is irrelevant for two reasons: 1) to quote Rabbi Steven Pruzansky, “Predators exist everywhere since time immemorial. There are Haredi predators, Modern Orthodox, Dati Leumi, Conservative, Reform, unaffiliated Jews, atheist, Catholic and Muslim predators. There are predators who are priests, rabbis and imams. There are predators who are journalists and politicians, doctors and lawyers, teachers and professors, police officers, plumbers and piano teachers, producers and directors, actors and actresses, parents, and stepparents. Nevertheless, we should be accurate and circumspect in judging any group for the sins of an individual.” 2) Rabbi Pruzansky continues, “Those who continue to deny that problems of abuse exist in their community are enablers of the worst kind. Therefore, I will make known to anyone who doesn’t even know what I am talking about to hear a message of going forward. I am referring to the recent scandals, disgraces, humiliations, and shameful stories that have come out of the religious Jewish world. Many are familiar with the term Chillul HaShem,’ loosely translated as a desecration of God’s name. I would like to outline two or three points that we can take away from current events. Before I begin to address Chillul Hashem, the most severe sin a Jew can commit, let us halachically define it and not misuse it. Too often a term of such magnitude is thrown around and most typically ill placed. I will try in a few short sentences to give a general overview;  I am sure there is more to be said. My description is not all-encompassing.   

The Rambam enumerates three types of Chillul Hashem. The first is when someone refuses to give up his life when called for. The second is when one commits a sin, not because he’s driven by his urges but pretty much out of spite. The third category is what we typically mean when we talk about Chillul Hashem: when someone who should know better acts in a fashion that is perceived to be beneath him. The Gemara Yoma 86a discusses what would constitute a Chillul Hashem. Rav said a Chillul Hashem would be applicable if a person failed to  pay his butcher on time. Now that is not such a grievous thing, but coming from Rav, it reflects badly on Torah scholars. Each of us, at our own level, is responsible to strive to act upward and not stoop down. Tosfos in Gemara Bava Kamma 113b rules that a Chillul Hashem does apply to non-Jews whenever they are expecting better behavior from the Jew. If it is a common traffic violation that most people may transgress and is understood [even though not forgiven] by the authorities,  Jews are not looked upon more harshly than others. Such case may not be defined as Chillul Hashem. In the case of a serious infringement, however, where most people are expected to obey, and the Jew is looked upon as one who should present higher standards of behavior, it may fall into the definition of Chillul Hashem.

These cited references are light in comparison to scandals that place the Jewish people clearly in a bad light by committing fraud and white-collar crimes where it is “only money”. These “only money” crimes destroy the reputation of Jews within the community where such offenses occurred as well as to the Jewish name at large. But  cases of sexual abuse, fraud, manipulation, and so forth, destroy the essence of Jewish society by losing trust in the good people and mentally and sometimes physically come to kill the victim.

We find in Gemara Yoma 86a quoted earlier that complete Teshuva/repentance for the classic Chillul Hashem is not always a simple task, and in extreme cases it is almost unattainable. In lighter cases of Chillul Hashem, if at all, I give you the words of Rabenu Yona in his Sha'arei Tshuvah 4:5:one should increase Kiddush Hashem  - the sanctification of  Hashem's name - by acting with meticulous care in that regard, in order to repair the damage that had been created. The sin of committing a chillul Hashem in an extreme case, such as in sexual abuse, is so serious that the Gemara tells us that neither teshuvah (repentance), Yom Kippur, nor suffering can fully affect atonement for such a person. A person cannot be fully cleansed of the taint of making a Chillul Hashem until he has died - and not by suicide.

I have read, listened to countless talks by leading Rabbanim, Roshei Yeshiva, and mental health professionals about the recent events and the conclusion is the same. The works of a person who commits these crimes against the innocent and vulnerable must be thrown, out despite the appearance of the mis-perceived value of the offender. We must understand this person (who I don’t want to even mention his name) probably lost any portion in the world to come. Our feelings of support must be loud and clear to the victims of sexual abuse.  We must assert that we believe the victims’ claims (when substantiated through proper channels) and are here to support these people emotionally, physically and financially, assuring that they  receive the necessary tools to rehabilitate.

Going forward, we, as parents, grandparents, and teachers need to educate our children from an early age about the dos and don’ts that are expected and accepted by adults. This is not limited to strangers, it applies equally to all relatives who are near their prey within the natural family setting. To again quote Rabbi Pruzansky, “It is parents who must educate their children regarding acceptable boundaries and the impropriety of physical contact by others. Parents must impress on their children that no adult is ever allowed to tell them to keep a secret from their parents, and that children should never be embarrassed or afraid to share with their parents anything that has happened to them. Children – boys and girls – should be informed of the laws of yichud and try to not to be alone behind closed doors with any person, even a respected authority figure. And children should cry out immediately, run from their assailant, and immediately inform their parents.”

Let us begin to correct and protect the innocent and vulnerable and root out the evil conduct within our society. It is up to us all to live in God’s image by creating more Kiddush HaShem and not, Chas V’Shalom, the opposite.

Ah Gutten Shabbos

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky

The winter, which is the rainy season in San Diego, brings more than flooding and traffic collisions on the ground; it also brings added pressure to a two-hundred-pound test fishing line, otherwise known as the eruv. As some of the local readership knows, (and now everyone will know) the eruv was non-operational last Shabbos due to the fact the line was broken and unable to be repaired before Shabbos.  To my recollection, this was only the second time in the seventeen-year history of the eruv being up that it was not Kasher for Shabbos use. There have been several close calls when we felt the odds of it getting fixed before Shabbos were small and advised the community to hope for the best and prepare for the worst. I could write a book on the different situations we faced and the hurdles that needed to be overcome to ensure the eruv being up for the community. As I mentioned, all but one time before last week did we fail to fix the eruv in time. We were able to fix last week’s issue at the beginning of this week, but as of the time of this writing, the eruv is down - in a different location.

For me, personally, I take this situation to heart and feel the urgency for the eruv to be operational.  I feel almost as if I am letting the community down by not finding a way to get the job done. Obviously, there are certain factors beyond my control. I know the eruv going down is not something that I have the power to control. With this said, I know most people believe that I am responsible to assure that the eruv remains up. In fact, when someone in the community called to let me know he would not be able to come to Shul, I began to apologize. This individual immediately responded, “it’s not your fault!”   

Many people asked, “What happened? Where and how did it come down? Why didn’t it get fixed”? And so here is the history and timeline of last week’s events: The eruv typically is checked every Thursday morning so that if there is an issue, it can be addressed early Friday morning. Additionally, any time we experience inclement weather, especially after a windy storm, the eruv is checked immediately, sometimes during the storm itself. This happened on Asara B’Teves, Tuesday of that week. On Thursday morning I sent a text message at 8:50 am (as I normally do) to our primary technician Mike, who owns a sign company. More vital is the boom truck he owns which is essential for us to do the needed repairs. Mike did not answer my text. A few hours later, at 11:58am, I called him, but he still did not answer his phone. I proceeded to leave Mike an urgent voicemail. During this same time, I was receiving calls and messages from another Shul in town whose eruv was down, seeking the technician since we share the same service.

At 2:01 Thursday afternoon I received a call from Mike, who told me it would be impossible for him to fix the eruv this week. He suggested that I try to reach our back-up person. I immediately called our backup company (an electrical outfit) to schedule a service for Friday morning. Once again, I was unable to get through; I left a detailed message which usually creates a “ticket” for Steve, the technician, to get in touch with me. An hour crept by and now, noticing it was 3:02 p.m. on a Thursday afternoon, I grew a bit more concerned, I called Steve-the-technician directly only to hear that his phone had been disconnected. At 3:42 pm I received an email communication from ABM electric informing me that Steve no longer worked for them, and all the technicians were booked. The email went on to state the company would try to find someone who could be assigned this job at 4:45 am Friday morning. I replied in the positive, hoping they would try to find someone, but realizing that the probability of finding a “new guy” for this kind of work was slim. At 3:46 pm I sent out an email to the community informing everyone about the news we’d received from the College Area Eruv Corporation. Therefore, as time became an issue, I began to resign myself to the fact that the eruv would not be available this Shabbos. For a reason I cannot explain, I checked my email at about 10:15 pm and saw that I had received an email at 10:02 pm confirming a new technician would meet me in front of my house at 4:45 am Friday morning. At 4:50 am I received a call from John, the new tech. I went outside to greet him, but I did not have a good feeling from that first interaction. I realized that it was only five in the morning, but these technicians always start their day early. We drove out to the site of the downed eruv, I in my car and he in his truck: El Cajon Boulevard in front of Vons. I begin to explain to John what needed to be done.

At this point I told myself, “O.K., we got it! The Eruv will get repaired. It was a no- brainer.” Unfortunately, things did not go as planned, not because the job was too difficult (Steve could have done it), but rather from the first hiccup we faced, as the line got stuck on a pole and we needed to start over, this guy John said to me, “This is not going to work.” He repeated this one liner grumble a few times. Additionally, his lack of “seichel” did not help the situation. After several tries, combined with his lack of enthusiasm - to say the least - I was defeated. I finally came to the realization that our eruv would not be repaired in time for this Shabbos.

The final straw that led me to believe that this person did not really want to help us out was when we parted ways. I would sometimes give Steve a few dollars as a tip, expressing gratitude for helping. I decided that even though we did not accomplish the mission - it did not fail, it was aborted - I decided to give something to the new fellow for trying. He answered me with an abrupt “No thanks. I get paid by the hour.” More than what he said was how he said it. It’s hard to explain, but I clearly wondered what was going through his mind during this entire interaction.

The experience left me with two feelings. The first was when I thought the eruv would be repaired, knowing we had the manpower and that my perseverance had succeeded. However, as we say every day when davening a verse from Mishlei 19:21 "רבות מחשבות בלב איש, ועצת ה' היא תקום"  “There are many thoughts in a man’s heart, but the plan of Hashem, that shall stand”. The Malbi’m explains that a human being believes himself to be full of possibilities, potential modes of thought and courses of action, to choose as he wills. Yet the single counsel or plan that actually goes into practical effect is often decided by Hashem, overriding a man’s apparent freedom. I completely missed this important lesson at the very outset. Secondly, it was a subtle reminder that we live in a guest country where we do not know the thoughts of every person we interact with. We hope we are respected by all, but if we are honest to ourselves, we know this is not the case.

As we begin Sefer Shmos, the Jewish people start to feel the Galus – the exile. By the end of the Parsha we begin the redemption promise. The concept of an Eruv is to bind together. I hope and pray that the physical bounds of the Eruv not only create a closeness to the Jewish community, but to the extended general community of San Diego and beyond.     

Ah Gutten Shabbos

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky

I was never sure as to why an amusement park was so named. I am curious as to who the amused would be: the spectators or the participants. For those who know me and my motion issues, I don’t think many of the rides are amusing at all! I guess there may be some activities that are fun. Perhaps a ride or two -such as the Ferris Wheel - would amuse me either from the ground or up in the air. For this article, I would say that I was never amused by these parks for a number of reasons. The Roller coaster, Carousel, Merry Go Round, Scrambler, and Tilt-A-Wheel are, for me, just advanced vomit machines that wreak havoc on my body. Why would I want to go on anything like that!

With that said, however, the term ‘roller coaster’ has often been used in the figurative sense about life. That which goes up must come down; life is a roller coaster with twists and turns, ups and downs. The challenge of life is to navigate through it all and not get sick when each of these challenging rides is over. An important lesson to contemplate is that at the amusement park an actual person is controlling the ride, observing all that is going on.  The roller coaster of life can be viewed as challenges, and at times crises which we need to get through.  Here are two vignettes of crisis, one from a few years ago and the other back to Biblical times.   

Jeff Immelt knows something about managing through crises. The former General Electric (GE) chief executive saw the industrial conglomerate through the post-9/11 period and the Great Financial Crisis. He released a book, Hot Seat, earlier this year, defending his leadership after the value of GE dropped by $170 billion during his 16-year tenure. Immelt, who is now a venture partner at New Enterprise Associates, told Yahoo Finance he thought the experiences he retold in the book could be valuable to other leaders.

“In a crisis, you have to hold two truths: You have to know that things could always get worse, and at the same time, you have to have vision that there is going to be a future that you need to invest in, ”Immelt stated at Yahoo Finance’s ‘All Markets Summit’. Personally, I would say the opposite is also true: When things are good, they can get better, but we also must be mindful that things can turn for the worse. In life a person always needs to have forward and rear-view vision, looking toward the future while learning from the past. In every generation, and in every person’s personal life you have to hold on to these truths. This is particularly poignant during and after a pandemic which, for the first time in over a century, has spread with the speed of jet travel, continuing to morph, in ways that rivet humankind world-wide. A positive outlook toward a brighter future is essential.

Yosef was the greatest CFO. He weathered the economic storm in Egypt and lead them through the famine. His brilliant insight and vision to store up food from the years of plenty for the years of famine required discipline, coordination, and great planning. Through all of this, he was dealing with a difficult family situation, requiring navigation that would have repercussions until the end of time. Yosef balanced the need to see his brothers repent with his burning desire to reveal his true identity. Yosef was not only an economic genius but also a true family man. He knew when to give it up and reveal his true identity and how to explain the entire situation that needed to happen. The commonality between GE and Yosef’s control of Egypt is that they both experienced the good times first and then the down times. The English actor and activist Jeremy Irons said, "We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called memories. Some take us forward, they're called dreams." Only to be topped off by the famous baseball player and manager, Joe Torre,  who quipped, "Unless you have bad times, you can't appreciate the good times."  

In this week’s Parshas Vayigash after the brothers became aware that Yosef was still alive, the Torah states in Bereishis 45:23 "ולאביו שלח כזאת עשרה חמרים נשאים מטוב מצרים, ועשר אתנת נשאת בר ולחם ומזון לאביו לדרך"  “[Yoseph] sent the following to his father: Ten male donkeys, loaded with Egypt’s finest products, as well as ten female donkeys, loaded with grain, bread, and food for his father’s journey.” Rabbi Avraham Mordechai Alter,** also known as the Imrei Emes, would always show people a particular vort (word) of the Mahara”l. The passuk tells us that Yosef sent to his father ten donkeys. The Mahara”l asks what is the significance of the number ten? Why exactly ten donkeys? The Mahara” l explains that Yosef was telling his father not to be angry at the ten brothers; it wasn’t in their control. Just as a donkey is controlled by its owner, so too the brothers did what they did because of the decree in heaven. Yosef was telling his father, “Do not be upset at the brothers for selling me.” With the ten donkeys, Yosef was implying to his father that what they did was not in their control. Donkeys just act the way their master directs them to; so too the brothers were only being directed by Hashem. Donkeys do not know the reason of their mission; they just go.  Yosef was sending this hint to his father. Telling Yaakov that he should not be upset or angry at them for they were no better than donkeys. The Mahara” l go on to explain “carrying of the best of Mitzrayim” was the reason for the decree in the first place. The design play was to bring Yaakov down to Egypt/Mitzrayim so that the Jews would leave Egypt with a lot of wealth. But the point we need to get into our heads - and more so our hearts - is that everything is controlled by Hashem. We need to send this message to ourselves…When we get hurt by someone, understand that he, the perpetrator, is being controlled by God, and we probably did something to deserve a certain kind punishment.

Yosef’s vision was toward the future and to not relish over the past. Yosef had just finished trying to convince his brothers that he does not blame them; he holds no grudge against them. Now he needs to convince his father of the same. It is one thing for Yosef to forgive his brothers, but Yosef could not forgive his brothers on behalf of his father who suffered greatly because of the sale. Therefore, Yosef needs to convince his father to let go, to forgive his sons for selling Yosef. The sales pitch was the analogy of the ten donkeys and with that Yakov would forgive his sons for what they did to Yosef and the pain and anguish they caused him.

The ups and downs and all of the uncertainty was now cleared up. Yakov is prepared to reunite and have Klal Yisroel come together. So to, if we would only realize everything is from Hashem, it would ultimately bring the Jewish people of today, the children of Yakov all together again.

Ah Gutten Shabbos

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky

**Avraham Mordechai Alter Hebrew: אברהם מרדכי אלתר‎‎; 25 December 1865 – 3 June 1948), also known as the Imrei Emes after the works he authored, was the fourth Rebbe of the Hasidic dynasty of Ger, a position he held from 1905 until his death in 1948.

The average person thinks retirement is a time reserved for people when they get older. While it may be true that most people retire when they are older, one should seriously think about retirement when they are young. Catherine Valega, a certified financial planner in Winchester, Massachusetts, discusses the concept that at retirement there is  a 40-hour gap in your week that you need to fill. She asks, “Are you sure you have enough activities to keep your body, mind and spirituality occupied for the many years you have ahead of you?”

How much time do you realistically see yourself spending going on long walks, lounging poolside, or curling up on the couch with a good book - especially after the novelty wears off? Think hard. About this. Think long term before you retire. Do you want to volunteer? Go back to school? Pick up a new hobby or resume an old one? Come up with a plan in advance of retirement.  Raymond Jetson, 64, spends a great deal of time working to revamp the concept of what it means to be retired. He should know. He has retired twice and now is at the helm of the social enterprise MetroMorphosis.  He is quoted saying: “…I wake up every day and ask myself, What will you do today that will matter 20 years from now?"

While it is true that the average young Jewish family works hard to provide for their family. For the religious Jewish family, working hard to provide is challenging in many more ways than just making a living wage. The orthodox lifestyle and demands, in addition to observing and fulfilling the Mitzvos of the Torah, complex issues of costs of Jewish education, summer camp, daily increasing costs of kosher food, and so much more.

In this week’s parshas Vayeishev the Torah states in Bereishis 37:1 "וישב יעקב בארץ מגורי אביב, בארץ כנען"   “Meanwhile, Yaakov settled in the area where his father had lived in the land of Canaan”. This area is known today as Chevron. In the next verse Rashi gives another interpretation of וישב  - that Yaakov desired to dwell לישב in peace. However, there sprung upon him the troubles of Yosaif – the righteous desire to dwell in peace. The Holy One Blessed Be He, said, “It is not sufficient for the righteous that which is prepared for them in the world to come, but they seek to dwell in peace (also) in this world!” The traditional explanation is that Yaakov should not be thinking or planning to retire. This has been my understanding for years; it never occurred to me that this is a very strange understanding that Rashi presents. It does not make sense that this is what Yaakov wants to do.

I am not going to offer an “alternative” answer but will focus on the actual pshat -the true, correct understanding of Yaakov wanting to “retire”. This verse comes to teach us that from the time Yaakov was outside the land of Canaan and the time traveling back to his father’s house, he strove to acquire many physical acquisitions and increase the size of his flock. Yaakov even prided himself by telling Lavan (Bereishis 31:40) how during the day the drought consumed him and he was also consumed by the frost by night. But as soon as he reached his father’s home in Eretz Canaan, he entered a land that was prepared and ready to serve Hashem from two avenues: The first from the place that his holy father Yitzchok and grandfather Avraham lived; the second:it was the holy land that God had chosen. At this point Yaakov no longer wanted to work for things of this world. He ceased his pursuit of financial gain in this world,-  increasing the number of cattle, sheep, and the other physical ‘stuff’. His intent was to accomplish the same things as his forefathers. At this point in his life, he gave over the business, the money making of gashmiyus/physicality with his animals and flock so as to allow and give the opportunity to his sons the same manner as he had done during his [Yaakov’s] earlier years. This explains what the statement  ‘Yaakov did not want to go out’ means. He no longer wanted to go out and shepherd; he wanted to go learn and be a part of his father’s house. This is exactly what Avraham and Yitzchok did when they reached a certain age. They separated, distanced themselves from money-making propositions. Instead of pursuing money they pursued the service to Hashem, preparing themselves for prophecy and ever-deepening connection to Hashem. This all took place in Eretz Canaan, the land Hashem seeks out for holiness and greatness. This was Yaakov’s vow earlier when he says in Bereishis 28:21, “…and if I return in peace to my father’s house, then I will dedicate myself totally to God”. Another proof is that the Torah states in Bereishis 35:27 that Yaakov thus came to his father Isaac in Mamre, at Kiryat Arba, better known as Chevron. This is where Avraham and Yitzchok resided. The passuk is not coming to inform us that the location was Chevron, because everyone knew that. Rather it comes to teach us Yaakov’s reason for tracing the steps of his father. In fact, Chevron was a rocky land that was not suitable for his flock to graze. It was perfect for his ‘Hisbodedus’, his self-seclusion and meditation to be with Hashem. Therefore, he gave over his “business” of cattle and flock to his children and sent them to Shechem, a place far away from Chevron but better suited for grazing.

Yaakov chose to return to his true passion, a passion he had when he was a young boy dwelling in the tent of Torah. As a youngster he was able to learn in Yeshiva and be close to Hashem one hundred percent of the time, learning strictly on the spiritual realm. Out of necessity he went to work and became a wealthy businessman, raised a large family, and made enough to return to a place that was conducive for this new job in life. Typically, someone who makes a great deal of money wants, actually needs, to make more money.  Shlomo HaMelech states in Koheles 5:9 “Whoever loves silver (money) will not be sated with silver”. Yaakov was able to overcome the natural inclination man has for money and possessions, and leaving it all  to work for God.

Yaakov’s retirement did  not consist of sitting in a rocking chair on the porch reading the paper every day. Yaakov’s settling would be to go back and do what his passion was from the beginning: to serve Hashem. Every Jew needs to appreciate that our ultimate job is to serve Hashem as much as possible. Yes, life requires a person to earn a living* and at times not have enough time to serve Hashem as much or in the manner they would prefer. Nevertheless, when the opportunity arises on a day off, a day free from work such as a Sunday or legal holiday, this is the opportunity to use the time to work for Hashem. Later in life when, God willing, we are blessed with financial security, we will focus and dedicate all our resources in Avodas Hashem, “working for Hashem” in the years of our “retirement”.            

Ah Gutten Shabbos

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky

*This does not and should not preclude a person’s Mitzva, the opportunity to serve God in every capacity - especially in the business world. This essay speaks to exclusivity in terms of physical retirement from a job, allowing us all the precious time to dedicate our attention fully to Hashem in other areas that they could not do during their working years.

This past week the Shul hosted people who were visiting  San Diego to attend an actuarial conference. Some of them, due to responsibilities at the conference, arrived late;  as I reviewed the times and dates of the Shul activities and informed them of all the codes necessary to access the Shul, I made a remark about numbers and figures:  “One of our congregants asked one of the guests, what are some of the best actuarial jokes out there? The actuary immediately quirked,  ’None.’” That may well be the case! People view actuaries as numbers people with no sense of humor, ha ha. While it may be true for some, it isn’t necessarily true for all of them.

There are many kinds of insurance: auto, renter’s, homeowners, flood, earthquake, malpractice, fire, theft, collision, liability, etc. Do we get them all? Is every insurance policy necessary? Are we obligated under the law to buy and maintain insurance? Some people are risk takers, and each person has a different tolerance level. Even those who choose to take out an insurance policy still have a number of choices to make regarding coverage limits and costs for deductibles. Generally speaking, a lower premium will yield a higher deductible while a higher premium will reflect a lower deductible. And then…there is the ultimate question: Do we need insurance? Is buying Insurance permitted in Halacha or is it showing a lack of faith in Hashem? Reb Moshe Feinstein zt”l has a responsa in the Igros Moshe Orach Chaim IV #48 - “Permissibility: Relationship to Bitachon” (faith).  Another rather crucial concern is the insurance companies.  Like all other businesses, insurance companies constantly evaluate ways to boost profits while cutting losses. It is up to the savvy consumer to take the time each year to review the renewal policy – even if the overall cost and premium remain the same as the previous year.  As an aside, here is an interesting analogy: just as orange juice containers tend to be priced similarly, the actual containers may contain fewer ounces – a range of sixty-four to fifty-nine ounces in a container.  In other words, the insurance premium may be the same, but the coverage is not.  Insurance varies greatly, depending upon age, gender, overall health, geographic location, & so forth.  

The field of actuarial science mathematically calculates all these variables to arrive at  a price tag. Actuaries are highly skilled specialists in quantifying risk, critical to the insurance industry. Actuaries earning CAS credentials work primarily in the property and casualty insurance industry, in areas such as personal lines insurance (e.g., auto, homeowners), commercial lines insurance (e.g., medical malpractice, workers compensation), and reinsurance.  Actuaries assess and manage the risks of financial investments, insurance policies, and other potentially risky ventures. They assess financial risks, combining theories of probability, economic theory, statistical analysis, and computer science. According to the Society of Actuaries, approximately 48 percent of actuaries in the U.S. work for insurance companies. The use of statistics and percentages to analyze financial impact is seen in Halacha and in the Torah.  We will be reading one of the primary sources in our Torah portion this week.

The Torah in this week’s Parshas Vayeitzay states in Bereishis 28:20-22 "וידר יעקב נדר לאמר, אם יהיה אלוקים עמדי ושמרני בדרך הזה אשר אנכי הולך ונתן לי לאכל ובגד ללבש. ושבתי בשלום אל בית אבי, והיה ה' לי לאלוקים. והאבן הזאת אשר שמתי מצבה יהיה בית אלוקים וכל אשר תתן לי עשר אעשרנו לך"  “Jacob made a vow. ‘If God will be with me’, he said, ‘if He will protect me on the journey that I am taking, if He gives me bread to eat and clothing to wear, and if I return in peace to my father’s house, then I will dedicate myself totally to God. Let this stone that I have set up as a pillar become a temple to God. Of all that You give me, I will set aside a tenth to You’. This is nothing short of a typical insurance policy! Namely the Neder is the contract: protection, bread, clothing, and safe return home is the Coverage; the Premium is the ten percent.

But was Yaakov Avinu only looking for financial security? On the one hand, based upon many commentaries that Darshan/expound upon the double language of ‘ahsair t’ahsair’ to indicate that if someone gives his ten percent of earnings, he or she will be rewarded, receiving a return of double or some kind of financial benefit far beyond the initial charitable investment.  

Rav Moshe Shternbuch in his sefer Ta’am V’Daas explains the need to infer that the giving of Maaser (ten percent) is not specifically about money or financial giving and receiving. Rather, everything that God gives and bestows upon us - even the wisdom with which He endows us - needs to be tithed. The reward a person will merit and receive will be filled with blessing and success. It is said in the name of Reb Moshe Shapiro zt”l that he instructed the students of the yeshiva to dedicate and grant one hour per day to help others become wiser. He coined a phrase for this time as “Avodas HaKodesh”- holy service. He promised, he guaranteed those students that if they followed his word, they would merit excellence and success in their own learning. It is also said in the name of Reb Shimon Shkop zt”l, the Rosh HaYeshiva of Shaar HaTorah in Grodno, ”Just as tzedakah (righteousness) with money has a segula/treasure to become wealthy, so, too, in spirituality: if a person with extraordinary talent in knowledge separates and ‘tithes’ his time for someone else, he will be guaranteed sevenfold of spirituality greatness.

Reb Shimon Shkop was not only ‘suggesting’ a student to do this; he made it a requirement of the entire student body. There are stories told that there were certain students in the Yeshiva who, even after davening for Heavenly assistance in their Torah learning and growth, did not see it until they accepted upon themselves this commitment to contribute an hour a day of their studies to learn with someone weaker than they.

How and why the ten percent became the secret number of successes is beyond the scope of this article. In fairness the Gemara Kesubos 50 puts a twenty percent limit to give. According to most opinions this law applies only to agriculture and not necessarily to cash. Nevertheless, the lesson is that when we give, we get back, receiving in turn an even greater amount than we contributed.

No two people are created the same; some have talent in one area while others are stronger in another area. Every human being is ‘wealthy’ in some talent or skill. Every one of us  has the ability to share that knowledge and information, assisting those who are lacking in that area. It behooves individuals to seek out their blessing that Hashem has given them and use it in some fashion to share and help those less fortunate who could be elevated, assisted by your help. This, in essence, is a vital insurance policy for our future in both the physical and spiritual realms of life, both here in this world and in the world to come. Yaakov Avinu took out the first policy; we, his children, need to renew the policy every year to ensure the continued kindness with which Hashem created the world. It is our responsibility that we continue to maintain it.

Ah Gutten Shabbos

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky 

This Dvar Torah is, L’Ilui Nishma, in memory of HaRav Kalman Moshe ben Reuven Avigdor Packouz zt”l  whose Yarzeit was this past Sunday, the 18^th of Cheshvan

Two years have passed since  this parsha of Chayei Sorah, distributed by  the world-wide Torah Fax publication, was not sent out by its founder. Even the previous week’s Torah Fax was sent out and read posthumously. Rabbi Shraga Simmons of Aish HaTorah eulogized his friend, Rabbi Kalman Packouz, the week after he passed. One of the major accomplishments Reb Kalman was responsible for producing was the Torah Fax. Here is a snippet of that article:

“[…Rabbi] Kalman’s second breakthrough with technology came in 1992. In this pre-Internet era, he collected fax numbers of homes and offices, then created a subscriber list for Shabbat Shalom Weekly – a newsletter featuring life lessons from the weekly Torah portion and Jewish insights into personal growth. Stamped with Kalman’s huge smile (and “thumbs-up”) the “Fax of Life” was warm and witty, with insightful stories, Torah lessons for life, and a pithy “quote of the week.”

What started as a local fax sent to 50 people, expanded globally, becoming the gold standard in Jewish adult education. Shabbat Shalom reached every corner of the globe. It was posted on office bulletin boards, Jewish community centers, and synagogues. With the mass adoption of email in the mid-1990s, Shabbat Shalom Weekly became the first Jewish e-newsletter to reach 100,000 subscribers. In 27 years, Kalman never missed sending the newsletter every week. Its impact was both vast and enormous.

Approximately five years before his passing, Kalman visited San Diego twice a year. He attended a certain institute for health-related issues but never let on (and we could never tell) that he was there trying to treat his illness. His visits typically lasted two weeks. During that time he davened in my Shul and ate with my family on Friday nights. I never really knew the depth of who he was and the incredible accomplishments which led to his world-wide fame. One of my simple connections to him was that we knew his brother-in-law and sister-in-law. In short, Rabbi Kalman Packouz was the most unassuming individual one could meet. He was humble beyond description, always offering to be of assistance in any which way possible. Our many discussions regarding the plight of the Jewish people, outreach, and Torah learning stimulated and enhanced my weekly divrei Torah, such as the one you are reading now. He, too, as a writer for many years, was always looking for meaningful stories to share with the world through his Torah Fax. One time a personal story of mine came up in discussion. Rabbi Packouz wanted to write it up and send it out. I declined his request, and he, being very persistent, asked me every time he visited for permission to use the story. Each time I said no, eventually telling him that I would probably use it in an upcoming book or other publication, and I did not want to let the story out just yet. He pleaded, in his very calm and soothing voice and tone,  trying to convince me that so many people would read it and learn from it. I always thanked him, apologized but said, “I cannot let you use it.” I had my reasons why and not everything in life needs to be revealed. Well, due to recent events the time has come to share this story……….

The Story Behind the Broken China Plate

During the first year or two following our arrival in San Diego, we invited each and every member of the Shul for a Shabbos meal. Some were older couples, others joined us with their small children. At the time, our children were also very young and were susceptible to the same scenario that occurred.

We always strive to have a beautiful Shabbos table, and at one point actually used our real china for our Shabbos meals. We also used a disposable plastic table covering to protect the tablecloth from staining from spilled items.

One Friday night our Shabbos dinner guests were a family with small children.  One of the guest’s children pulled the plastic tablecloth (I hope accidentally), causing one of the china plates to fall off the table and break into a number of pieces upon hitting the floor. My initial reaction was anger, frustration, even rage (thinking to myself how did that happen!?), but I regained my composure  quickly because it was the guest’s child who had caused the china to break.  I began to tell them in a calm and soothing voice “oh don’t worry about it, it’s only a plate”. I don’t even think the parents paid too much attention to it and again I said, “It’s fine, things like that happen,” etc.

Later that night I thought to myself, “If one of my children had broken that plate, I wouldn’t have stopped yelling and screaming for hours. I would have been so mad and angry, and would have said things like “can’t you be more careful, or how could you be so clumsy, or it’s such an expensive item to break, how can you be so careless?” Explaining to my child that an expensive plate had been broken because they had been so clumsy and careless.  

I realized the hard way that I didn’t yell at the stranger how much more so I shouldn’t yell at my own children whom I love so deeply. I was calm for the company and brushed the entire event aside and just cleaned it up. I should always do that for my own flesh and blood.

I made a statement to myself at that time (form of a neder/vow) that I will give each of my children a framed piece of that broken plate when they get married and have children of their own, so it will serve as a reminder of this incident.

Accompanying the framed broken plate, I wrote: This framed piece of china is from that  plate, broken during a Friday night dinner when you were small. Keep it as a reminder never to yell or scream at your children or spouse, especially for things you wouldn’t yell at others for. Don’t yell at the ones you love the most, your family.

Love Abba

Below the plate in Hebrew it reads: to my children (their names) and a verse from Iggeres HaRamban "תתנהג תמיד לדבר כל דבריך בנחת לכל אדם בכל עת, ובזה תנצל מן הכעס   “Accustom yourself to speak gently to all people at all times. This will protect you from anger.”

In this week’s Parshas Chayei Sorah both Sorah Immeinu and Avraham Avinu die. The Torah, in both instances, records in Bereishis 23:1 "ויהיו חיי שרה מאה שנה ועשרים שנה ושבע שנים שני חיי שרה"  and then Bereishis 25:7 "ואלה ימי שני חיי אברהם אשר חי מאת שנה ושבעים שנה וחמש שנים" These are the days Sorah and Avraham lived. Every day of their each of their lives was lived as a full life. So too, Reb Kalman literally lived every day of his life. We also have a tradition that a Tzadik’s life lives on long after he  physically passes away. Kalman’s impact on the Jewish world lives on in many ways after his physical passing. As again quoted by Rabbi Simmons: “In recent years, Kalman expanded the Shabbat Shalom Weekly to three languages – English, Hebrew and Spanish. Then, at the suggestion of a colleague, he created a "Digital Eternity" project, whereby the Shabbat Shalom archives serve as a database to continue sending out a relevant weekly email in perpetuity”.

הרב קלמן משה בן ראובן אביגדור זצ״ל        יהי זכרו ברוך                                     

Ah Gutten Shabbos

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky