Rabbi's Blog

When I had just entered my teenage years, my family moved into a semi-attached single-family home. Our attached neighbors, who were not Jewish, had their television set placed right up against the joining wall of our two homes. Every Friday night my ear was glued to the wall (sometimes with the help of a drinking glass), listening to the Yankee baseball games on WPIX. While I can’t say that the walls were paper thin, they were not soundproof. While I did not mind being able to hear the games through the wall, my parents were a bit more concerned, knowing that if we could hear them they could surely hear us. From time to time my mother, a”h, would yell at us and say, “Keep it down! The neighbors can hear everything!”

There are a couple of idioms using ‘walls’ that jump out at me. One of these is “I would love to be a fly on the wall”, meaning that you’d love to hear what will be said or see what will happen while not being noticed. The other idiom is, “Shhh! Be careful, the walls have ears.” We should be careful about what we say because people might be listening. Take care and watch what you say because the walls have ears.

There are a few places in the Torah when certain halachos are dependent upon and focused around a wall. For example, the holiday of Purim is celebrated in all unwalled cities of the world, with the exception of Yerushalayim, Shushan, and any other city which has been walled since the time of Joshua. Shushan, the capital of Persia, was a walled city when the Jews fought to defeat their enemies on the 13^th & 14^th of Adar, so Purim was to be celebrated on the 15^th of Adar. Recognizing that Yerushalayim was also a walled city dating back to the time of Joshua, our sages decided that Yerushalayim, along with all cities of the world walled since the time of Joshua, would celebrate Purim on the 15^th day of Adar. A second example of the walled city is in reference to the Metzora that we mentioned earlier in Vayikra. A few weeks ago we read about the metzorah, the person who becomes afflicted with tzara’as, a strict form of tumah (state of being ritually impure). We learned that the afflicted person is sent out of the city and must take up residence outside the city walls.

In this week’s Parsha B’Har a third example of a house within a walled city is mentioned. The Torah states in Vayikra 25:29 “V’Ish Ki Yimkor Beis Moshav Ir Chomah, V’Haysa Geulaso Ad Tome Shnas Mimkaro, Yamim Tiheyeh Geulaso”: “When a man sells a residential house in a walled city, he shall be able to redeem it until the end of one year after he sold it. He has one full year to the day to redeem it”. The next verse is particularly fascinating, stating: “V’Im Lo Yigael Ad M’Los Lo Shana Temimah V’Kam HaBayis Asher BaIr Asher ‘Lo’ Choma Latzmisus LaKoneh Oso L’Dorosav, Lo Yeitzay BaYovel”: “However, if it is not redeemed by the end of this year, then the house in the walled city shall become the permanent property of the buyer [to be passed down] to his descendants. It shall not be released by the Jubilee. On the other hand, houses in the villages that do not have walls around them shall be considered the same as open land (see Vayikra 25:25). “

Unlike the seller of a home in an unwalled city who can renege on the sale at any time, over here, after one year is up, the buyer can say, “I'm not selling it back to you.” That's a remarkable chumrah/stringency for a house in a walled city, a total aberration from the typical rules of real estate in Eretz Yisroel. A home in a walled city has a different law and a different status, than any home located in a place without surrounding walls. Why should this home be any different from another home?

The great Rav Avigdor Miller ZT”L explains that there is something truly unusual here. Hashem is making something apparent in these pesukim: that there is something special about a walled city. With regard to a house located within a walled city, Hashem does not allow fifty years to think about buying the house back. If it is to be repurchased from the new owner, it must be bought back now! It's now or never! So the owner of a house in the walled city weighs his options very carefully before selling his home. He understands that he's making a decision that will soon be irrevocable. He will have only one year to redeem it from the seller, and when that year comes to an end, he will have lost his home forever.

We see here Hashem's intention of encouraging the original residents of a walled city to remain in their ancestral homes. Hakodosh Boruch Hu wants the residents of a walled city to forever remain within that walled city. The owner of such a home is discouraged by Hashem from selling his home, warning him that if he chooses to sell it, his ancestral home will be lost to him and his descendants forever. . Hakodosh Boruch Hu wants people to remain in the walled cities; This is made clear in our parsha. There is something special about walled cities, something unique is necessary for us to study what it is about batei arei chomah (houses in a walled city).

We must ask ourselves, What is this holiness that seems to be caused by walls? What's so special about a walled city that makes it so different, so much more kadosh, than the unwalled city right next door? And what is it about a walled city that finds so much favor in the eyes of Hashem, that He encourages us, by means of the arei chomah laws, to remain living within its walls forever? To better understand this, we need to understand and accept a fundamental principle - a principle that we must be aware of all the days of our lives. The Rambam in Hilchos Dei’os (6:1) writes: “It is the way that a person is created, meaning that the nature of a human being is to be drawn in his attitudes, his ideas, and the way he thinks and acts, after those with whom he associates.” This means that you become what your environment is.

The word nimshach means that you're drawn like a magnet to the attitudes and behavior of the people around you. You don't have to do anything; just by being there, you're pulled along unless you fight back. If you're passive then you're going to be drawn along. The process is so smooth, so subtle, that you don't even notice how you’re changed until it's too late, until you're already in the Next World.

Everything relates directly to who your friends are, to the people with whom you associate. The Rambam stated that you'll be drawn after your acquaintances and your friends. The Rambam tells us that even acquaintances, neighbors, coworkers - anybody whom you meet will affect you. You must know that when you associate closely with people, when you live among others, you are automatically being shaped. Not only will you act the way they act, but you'll come to think the way they think, and your middos will become like their middos.

People who moved into a walled city tended to settle permanently, remaining there from generation to generation. The walled city, because of its strategic value as a safe residence, secure from external enemies, became a haven for people to move to, a safe place to raise a family.

When we understand what the Torah is trying to teach us in these pesukim of batei arei chomah, then we understand that our entire Olam Hazeh – this world we live in - and our entire Olam Habah – the world to come - depend upon what the Rambam says, “A man is pulled after his friends and acquaintances.” This is a statement of profound power. We are pulled by those with whom we are with. That's how it is and it can't be helped. And so, if someone is going to pull us, let's make sure that we're always being pulled by the right people, by the best of our people, into the welcoming arms of Hakodosh Boruch Hu! God said, “And we'll walk with Him forever and ever in the “walled cities” of strong Torah communities where we are forever inflamed with the desire to serve Him.

Ah Gut Shabbos

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky

The weeks between Pesach and Shavuos are meant to resemble a Jew’s spiritual preparation and elevation towards receiving of the Torah on Shavuos. We try to follow in the footsteps of the generation who left Egypt at the forty-ninth level of impurity who transcended to the forty-ninth level of sanctity. While the time to grow and work on becoming a better Jew and ultimately a better human being is not limited to this time of year, it should nevertheless be highlighted and emphasized. The other obvious well-known time of introspection takes place leading up to Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur when we/Moshe had ascended and descended Har Sinai the second time. The only reason there was a second time was because we sinned with the golden calf when Moshe delayed after ascending on Shavuos.

The average Jew thinks the level necessary to obtain the Torah must be so high that it is just about out of our reach today. The truth is that while the level is very high, there is a simple focus we need to zero in on in our daily lives to reach it. Perhaps I can explain the how, what and why we need to attain this level by illustrating how we are not doing what we need to do. Without becoming too controversial or critical, we can glean a great deal from how more and more Jews are losing sight of what is important in life. I would like to use the “Pesach Programs, Over stuffed smorgasbords, Over the top Bar/Bat Mitzva celebrations and the like” as illustrations. There are by no means any restrictions in Halacha to enjoy the permissible things life has to offer. Nevertheless, it should not become the goal or the purpose in life to overindulge in the pleasures of life. I was perusing through Jewish magazines that advertise the variety of Pesach programs available throughout the world. One common theme with regard to the focus of Pesach has become lavish meals with buffets, twenty-four-hour tea rooms, snack times, early bird dinners, and so forth. Chas V’Shalom/Heaven forbid do I say this about every Jew who attends a Pesach program is there only for the food, that is absolutely not my intention. There are, however, those who look forward to a ten-day gluttonous adventure that boasts “You can’t even tell it’s Pesach”! The rolls, bagels, the pizza and pancakes, where does it end? We need to honestly ask ourselves, “Is this a true, spiritual experience that will enhance my neshama? Is this what God wants from us? Is this the service to Hashem that He seeks from us?” This is only the most recent example that comes to mind as our digestive systems are still digesting the matza from Pesach. However, we must be cognizant of this whenever and whatever we do every single day. We must be confront ourselves with the question, “How is this going to make me a better person?” We need to ask ourselves after we did something or said something, “Did I make the world a better place as a result of my actions and deeds or not?” The strategy for accomplishing this is not a new kind of fad; it is something we find in the Torah.

In this week’s Parshas Kedoshim the Torah states in Vayikra 19:1, “Dabair El Adas Bnei Yisrael, V’Amarta Lahem, Kedoshim* Tihiyu Ki KadoshAni Hashem Elokeichem”: “Speak to the congregation of the children of Israel and say to them, be *holy, because I am holy.” The section opens with a uniqueness; the entire Eidah or congregation was to hear this. Rashi explains that from here we learn that this portion was recited at Hakhel because most of the Jewish principles are dependent upon it. I would like to explain the significance in two ways. 1. Rashi is telling us this had to have occurred during Hakhel because there are many mitzvos taught here. Among them the highlighted mitzva of ‘V’Ahavta L’Reiacha KaMocha’: ‘Love your neighbor like yourself’ which Rebbi Akiva paraphrased as the primary principle in Judaism (Jerusalem Talmud Nedarim Ch. 9). 2. Moshe speaking to the Jewish people in a gathering is particularly relevant when speaking of holiness. The key to many mitzvos is determined by the level of ‘kedusha’ - sanctity or holiness in which a person engages. Rabbeinu Yona writes in Shaarei Teshuva (Shaar Aleph Os 30, 31): The ninth level of repentance comes through the smashing of a person’s physical desires – with that he could fully repent. Man must implant within his heart the realization that desire causes him to sin and draws forth transgression with the cords of falsehood. He must withdraw himself from pleasures and not be pulled after his desire, even in relation to things which are permissible. He must follow the ways of separation and eat only to satiate himself and to maintain his body, as Shlomo HaMelech said in Mishlei 13:25 “The righteous eats to the satiety of his body”. The desire which is implanted in a man’s heart is the root of all his actions. Therefore, if his desire is properly ordered, instead of being served by all the body’s members, it will cause them to follow the dictates of intelligence so that all of his actions will be rendered fit. But to the fools who do not break from their desire but constantly pursue the pleasures of men, their desires will continue to pursue them. Ultimately, the desire pulls and tugs at an individual, drawing him to nonsensical sinning, creating an impediment to Teshuva unless they try to stop it.

Reb Moshe Chaim Luzzato, in his work Mesilas Yesharim, ch. 13, recognizes all the challenges and temptations we face in the world of physicality and the vulnerability we humans face because of our weak nature. Therefore, he recommends and instructs us that whenever possible in any and every possibly questionable situation in which we find ourselves to do whatever we can to remove ourselves from that situation. Do something to minimize the damage. For example, try to walk away after the first helping.

Since Kedusha is the separating from that which is permissible to us, it is considered the most basic and primary focus we need to have to elevate our souls through our bodies. This is the reason Moshe gave this commandment to the entire gathering all at the same time. A clear message is that Hashem wants us to become holy not through complete removal from society, such as fasting, celibacy, silence and the like, but to the contrary. Hashem encourages us through the mitzvos of the Torah to partake and participate in every permissible pleasure this world offers, with one caveat: to do so through becoming a Kadosh, to avoid overindulging in any area of pleasure in life.

Changing a trait is no easy task; it takes time and effort. Let us use the impetus of the Omer period to make those changes and not let it go by as lip service. Focus and concentrate during the day, find yourself in a situation that you (and only you know about) could decide to hold back on a pleasure or desire that you may even be entitled to and hold back a little. Become holier today more than you were yesterday and the day before. Through this Avoda (and it is no easy task) we can and will change who we are and what is truly important in life. When we figure out the Emes/truth of what Hashem wants from us we will be ready for another revelation such as the one we ALL witnessed together at the foot of Sinai.

Ah Gut Shabbos

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky

*The Hebrew word Kodesh in all its different forms is loosely translated or explained as holiness. A better term of understanding to being Kadosh would be to separate.

The daily impact of so many growing concerns from safety and security to the environmental issues which bombard us daily come at a cost of personal effort, money and time. I could discuss write each of these issues at length, but I’ve chosen to address the last one: the effect of time. Now this may sound silly, but after using the washroom, we dry our hands. At home we typically use a real towel, while in public areas paper towels were installed with proper dispensers. Along came the air dryer which in and of itself has been perfected to place your hands down into a dryer instead of holding up your hands while the water is running back down your arms.

We as Jews have two issues with electric hand dryers. The first is a time concern, as we are always in a rush. It takes longer to air dry our hands it takes to use a disposable paper towel. But all kidding aside, the second, and real issue is Shabbos. We can’t use the electric blower; we need to use those good old-fashioned paper towels. Before we get to the obvious problem with the electric blower, what is the story behind the ‘paper towel’?

Scott Paper Company was founded by brothers Irvin and Clarence Scott in Philadelphia in 1879. SCOTT® Brand Tissue with 1,000 sheets was introduced at a cost of 10 cents per roll. It was considered a medical item; print ads were used to increase awareness and address embarrassment. One day, Arthur Scott, head of the paper products company, had big trouble. An entire railroad car full of paper, unloaded at his plant, wasn't good for anything because the paper had been rolled too thick for toilet tissue, its intended purpose. Was he going to send the whole load back?

Meanwhile, Scott heard about a certain teacher in the city school system who had developed a novel idea to help fight colds in school. She gave every runny-nosed student a small piece of soft paper to use. That way the roller towel in the toilets would not become contaminated with germs. Scott decided he would try to sell the carload of paper. He perforated the thick paper into small towel-size sheets and sold them as disposable paper towels. Later, he renamed the product Sani-Towel and sold them to hotels, restaurants, and railroad stations for use in public washrooms. In 1931, Scott introduced the first paper towel for the kitchen, creating a whole new grocery category. He made perforated rolls of "towels" thirteen inches wide and eighteen inches long. And that is the story of how paper towels were born. It was to take many years, however, before they gained acceptance and replaced cloth towels for kitchen use.

The main issue with dispensing paper towels on Shabbos is the prohibition of tearing. I don’t know about you, but invariably after washing my hands in the washroom or prior to eating bread, the paper towel rips as I am pulling it out of the dispenser. This usually occurs when the towels are packed in tightly together. (When there are only a few sheets left, they fly out in enthusiastic bunches – far more than you need.) For me, this has been a problem of tearing on Shabbos, albeit accidentally and not wanting it to happen. Nevertheless, even though I am probably exempt from the violation of Shabbos, it is still a desecration of Shabbos. Perhaps we should seek guidance from the Torah on this matter and see if there are any recommendations… After perusing through the Torah, we see numerous references to the concept and application of water and washing, but not one word about drying. The issue of drying hands is addressed in the laws of washing for bread, but such washing is a rabbinic decree, not a biblical one.

The Gemara Bava Metzia 85b tells a story about washing hands. Eliyahu HaNavi used to frequent Rebbi's academy. One day it was the New Moon and Rebbi was waiting for Eliyahu HaNavi, but he failed to come. Rebbi said to him the next day: 'Why didn’t you come yesterday?” He replied: “I had to wait until I awoke Avraham, washed his hands, he prayed and I put him to rest again; likewise to Yitzchok and Yakov.” “But why not awake them together?” Eliyahu replied, “I feared that they would wax strong in prayer and bring Moshiach before his time.” There was no mention of Eliyahu drying the hands of the forefathers. Perhaps one could suggest it is implied that drying is the second half of washing and is therefore inherently understood. Nevertheless, we only find the imperative to dry when washing for bread in contrast to all other times when we wash our hands. The times we are instructed to wash our hands include when arising in the morning, coming into close contact with a corpse, after using the restroom, cutting our hair and nails ,and more. We specifically need to dry our hands when washing for bread for two reasons: (1) if we accidentally touch another person’s hands which were not cleansed, then we need to wash again and (2) the bread would become repulsive to eat after getting wet from our hands, hence the need to dry them. Eliyahu HaNavi is a central and key figure in the future, heralding the ultimate redemption of the Jewish people.

This week’s Haftorah, selected from the Navi Malachi, depicts the great battles and miracles that will lead up to that redemption. There are two Gemaros that mention the last three prophets of Bnei Yisrael. Sotah 48b which says Chagai, Zecharya and Malachi were the last prophets, and the Gemara Yoma 9b which states that with the death of Chagai, Zecharya and Malachi, Divine Inspiration departed from Israel. The concluding words of the Haftorah are the final words that complete the section of Neviim as part of Tanach. Who else but Eliyahu himself does the Navi Malachi give a last message for the future? The Navi Malachi 3:22 states: “Remember the Torah of My servant Moshe, whom I commanded at Chorev (Mt. Sinai) with rules and laws for all Israel. Behold, I will send the prophet Elijah to you before the arrival of God’s great and awesome day. He will bring back the hearts of parents by means of their children and the hearts of the children by means of their parents, lest I appear and strike the land a devastating blow”.

A clear reconciliation and joining together of the polar tides of life is necessary to bring about the redemption. Many leaders were able to pull one segment of the Jewish population and at best left behind the other half or at worst tore away from them. It takes the ultimate leader to pull the extremes of the Jewish nation and bring them together without harming and ripping one half. This is the drying factor that is representative of that ultimate Geula. The solution to the paper towel issue on Shabbos is to grab hold of both ends of the paper towel and slowly bring both ends simultaneously towards each other. This simple act prevents the paper towel from tearing. Getting our hands wet and washing them is the first part of purification. Drying our hands is the culmination of that purity and is accomplished in its entirety and completeness by bringing all of Klal Yisrael together from the four corners of the physical world and the four corners of our spiritual world. Through the symbol of not tearing, and more importantly, bringing the towel ends together may we merit to see the words of Chagai come speedily in our time!

Parshas Shmini – Are We Raising Children or Do We Raise Our Children Up?

One of my mottos with regard to educating and raising children is “school is for information; home is where they learn”. The average Jewish family spends hundreds of thousands of dollars on Jewish education - the information which, in turn, feeds applied learning. Those dollars are invested in our children’s future, and like any other investment, active involvement is required: our children’s needs and progress have to be checked and nurtured to yield the best results. The home, however, is the epicenter for our children to learn how to conduct themselves, to develop a depth of understanding of the values we, their parents, hold dear. Home is where the information our children receive in school or yeshiva is truly ‘learned’. A good chef uses prime ingredients, treating each item with respect and care in order to create a masterful meal. Our children receive information (ingredients) from school and bring them home to ‘digest’. The home is the crucial environment for creating the best possible level of applying those pieces of information, nurturing a matrix which synthesizes the ingredients for a life of clarity of values, proper conduct, and respect. For a master chef, proper cooking utensils, precise temperatures, and, above all, timing, are essential details. The learning at home, the creation of the product, has many components which in a profound way, relates to the food produced by the master chef. The home is not limited to parents. It includes siblings, nutrition, safety, security, and so forth. Everything contributes to the end result!

Money spent on tuition is the cheapest part of educating our children. That may sound ridiculous, but in a sense, it is far easier to write a check (maybe even easier or less work to pay by credit card) than to guide, nurture, and ultimately help our children truly learn through synthesizing the ‘information’. It is the real learning that takes place in the home that is so challenging and, in most cases, ignored or overlooked. As parents we have an obligation to nurture the information that our children receive. There is no question that as parents when we observe our children doing something wrong, we reprimand them, teaching and instilling the proper course of action and behavior. But are we working on troubleshooting in advance prior to the incident to avoid any dangerous behavior or mishap? Are we as parents only reacting to situations that have already occurred, or are we trying to think ahead so as to avoid situations that can spare the hurt and pain a child may suffer either physically, spiritually or emotionally?

By definition, the term ‘parent’ means sacrifice, from the moment the child is conceived until the parent is no longer able to care for their child. As parents, we need to understand that we must sacrifice, not only for our children’s physical well-being, but also for their spiritual well-being. When a child asks for something spiritual (within reason) that may cost time, money or effort, the parent must figure out a way to nourish and nurture that request. If we desire our children to grow up with sincere religious and observant commitment, we need to show them we are committed to that very goal for ourselves and for them, even when it may be inconvenient. If a child wants to grow more connected to Judaism, we should do whatever it takes. Imagine a scenario where a child wants to daven with a minyan and is makpid/strict upon himself, making sure to always attend minyan. Perhaps an extreme example: Consider the child who arrives in Los Angeles from Israel in the late evening. After a grueling twenty-five hours he wants to head north to Los Angeles to catch the last minyan and then drive back down to San Diego. I can’t speak for most, but I’m sure a few kids at that point would like to go straight back home and daven privately without a minyan. I’m also sure that most parents at nine-thirty at night would rather drive straight home instead of driving north from the airport to L.A., finally arriving home at one in the morning. The parent in question wants to show and encourage the right thing to do. Not only doesn’t he complain, he is overjoyed by the commitment and dedication of his son. He must do whatever it takes, within the limits of possibility, to insure his child receives the religious training, learning and experience despite the hardship that may fall upon the parent. These are the attributes we parents need to inculcate within our persona, openly expressing , the desire to our children that we will do anything spiritually and religiously for them.

This has been the case for parents and children throughout history. We sometimes find tragedy when proper supervision is not provided especially when it come to adult children. We find this in this week’s parsha Shmini where we read about the death of Aharon’s two sons Nadav and Avihu. In Vayikra 10:1 the Torah states: “Vayikchu Bnei Aharon Nadav VaAvihu Ish Machtaso, Vayitnu Bahein Aish, Vayasimu Aleihen Ketores, Vayakrivu Lifnei Hashem Aish Zara Asher Lo Tziva Osam”. “ Aharon’s sons, Nadav and Avihu each took fire pans, placed fire and then incense on them. They offered it before God, but it was unauthorized fire, which God had not instructed them to offer”. In truth a Jew must do and perform every Mitzva by immersing and giving of himself to such an extent that his soul is spent - to the degree that he is lifeless and completely out of energy after doing a Mitzva. If that were the case, wouldn’t it be nearly impossible to do another Mitzva after expending all his energy on just one command? Rav Pinchas Yustman* explains that the Mitzva itself, being that it was commanded by Hashem to perform, aroused the person and gave renewed strength and vigor to him so that he looks forward to doing the next one. Quoting the words ‘VaChai Bahem’: ‘And you shall live by them’,explained by all ‘not to die from them’. Even if we ‘kill’ ourselves over a Mitzva, the very act of doing the Mitzvah with all of our being allows us to become stronger and do more Mitzvos.

Nadav and Avihu did the service in the Mishkan with the highest regard and an incredible measure of mesiras nefesh/self sacrifice. They did this to the degree that they actually killed themselves. Why? The renewed energy of the performance of their Mitzva did not work this time. Why? The reason given is because only after doing a Mitzva, a Mitzva literally means something we were commanded to do. In this case there was no command; Nadav and Avihu did this on their own. This is noted by the special cantillation mark ‘meircha kefula’ a double meircha on the word ‘Lo’ meaning they were NOT commanded. As great as they were, Nadav and Avihu acted on their own, without direction from Hashem. Their father Aharon knew they were great and righteous men; he couldn’t fathom them doing something wrong.

We as the parents need to guide our children when to do the Mitzva when we are commanded and not to do the Mitzva when we are not commanded. It’s not about us; it’s not for us to determine if or to decide when. At the time that Hashem when He wants us to do the command, we do it. We need to be all-encouraging, to consistently nurture the desire of our children to fulfill their Avodas Hashem. This, will in turn, will give them the strength, courage and attitude to want to do more.

Ah Gut Shabbos

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky

*Pinchas Menachem (Elazar) Yustman (1848–1920) The Piltzer Rebbe, also known by the title of his main work, the Sifsei Tzadik ((and in his early years known as Reb Mendel of Ger) was a Chasidic Rabbi who after the passing of his brother-in-law Rabbi Yehudah Aryeh Leib Alter, became a Rebbe for some Gerrer Hasidim, in Pilica, Poland.

One of Rabbi Wein’s classic statements with regard to raising children is “God punishes children by making them parents”. My Rosh Yeshiva has keen insight into relationships - family, business, and, in particular, child rearing. His consistent focus has always been to create a ‘mensch’, who by definition would be a Ben Torah but the contrary was not always the case. Rabbi Wein witnessed at least two, sometimes three generations, commenting on the pattern that developed from father to son, and from son to his son, each behaving and responding in a certain way when they were young, and all sharing the same similarities when they grew older.

I believe we all, at least one time in our childhood, made the cavalier statement, “When I have kids ,I’ll never do this or that!”. Or…“I’ll never do what my parents did to me to my kids.” Of course not! But, lo and behold, just one generation later we hear parents who as children resented these statements when their parents said them repeating the exact same things. One of my own children recently remarked, “Did I act like so and so when I was his/her age?” The child is acting out in a certain way, and the parents tend to treat their children the way they were treated when they were that age. There is also the other dimension of how parents make certain decisions based upon information only they understand. The children may know what is happening, but don’t really understand why. Children do not fathom that they have not got the right to know why their parents treat one child differently from their siblings. It’s important that parents explain to their children that they don’t need to know every reason for a parent’s responses to specific behaviors. There is no entitlement for a child (of a certain age, of course) to know everything. Answering a questioning child on why, why, why, may be replied with because, because, or because.

Nevertheless, a good parent will add a statement such as, “One day you will understand,” or “Right now you may not understand but one day you will.” This is a legitimate response to an inquisitive child. With time and patience, the cycle of children becoming parents and raising them as they were raised is then remembered. As the old saying goes, ‘What goes around comes around’ works and applies for good or poor disciplining or non-disciplining, spoiling or not spoiling. That which remains is the ability for children to accept that one day they will understand and appreciate how their parents raised them. This notion is one of the underpinnings of the entire story of Purim found in the Megillas Esther.

Chaza”l, the Rabbi’s of blessed memory, say that the recipient of a miracle does not recognize the miracle as it unfolds. There is no question that the amazing, wonderous miracles that are witnessed and seen by all, such as the splitting of the sea, is renowned by all. But the hidden miracles are not noticed and appreciated as miracles until later in the future. For example; there is no doubt that the killing of Vashti by King Achashveirosh would be the preparation to all that would follow. Similarly, three years later Esther is selected to be the next queen and taken to the king’s palace. No one had a clue as to these unfolding events. A few days later, a plot of two of the king’s chamberlains to assassinate Achashveirosh was discovered by Mordechai and told to Esther in the name of Mordechai. These are seemingly random occurrences which initially seem to have no major significance. Moreover, Haman is elevated to be the second highest official in the country. Who would have thought a Jew-hater’s rise to power would be something that would end well! The Chasam Sofer remarks that only at the end, when the major miracle that everyone witnessed, would all understand that the killing of Vashti was ‘like’ a Krias Yam Suf. This is because the recipient of the miracles doesn’t have the angle in their vision to see and appreciate the miracle of the One who performs it. This concept is echoed in the words of Dovid HaMelech in Tehilim 136:4 “L’Osei Niflaos Gedolos L’Vado, Ki L’Olam Chasdo”: “He who does great wonders, alone, for His kindliness endures forever”. Only Hashem Himself who performs all of the miracles knows; no man can grasp the miracles as they occur. Nevertheless, it’s a Mitzva and incumbent upon every man in the latter stages of his life to discern all the good Hashem has done for him from beginning to end. Everyone should recognize and perceive how the events in his or her life were a perfectly-sewn tapestry, taking care to tell it over to their children and grandchildren. Describing and telling over the miracles of one’s life to their children and grandchildren is a crucially critical component of Chinuch/education. The lesson to be learned by the child and grandchild is that they, too, should see and recognize the independent events as having a purpose and pattern that Hashem has performed for them.

The Chasam Sofer writes there is a remez or hint of this Parshas Ki Sisa describing Moshe meeting God on Har Sinai. The verse states “V’Raeesa Es Achorai, Upanai Lo Yeiraoo”: “And he saw Him from behind, but his face from the front he did not see”. At the time something occurs in the world and people are perplexed and ask: ‘Why did God do this or that?’ Only after some time are they able to see and understand retroactively that all these seemingly small, insignificant events are a preparation for Hashem to perform the big miracle.

A person who reviews the events and recognizes the master plan of Hashem strengthens his Emunah/belief in Hashem and receives great reward. How much more so the person who is able to have the Emunah as the questionable events are taking place. A person receives the greatest reward for having Emunah by the mere fact that he/she can identify the seemingly negative or benign occurrence and interpret it as the hand of the Almighty. We might ask God, why, why, why and need to answer the question ourselves because, because, because. A child does not have the intellectual capacity or brain development to fully appreciate a parent’s decision involving the child’s life. But we as adults should have the cerebral, intellectual ability to connect the dots, understanding that each event in our life is just one more step in the series of life that Hashem, our Father in Heaven is looking to set up the greatest miracle and ending for the Jewish people.

We should be Zocheh and merit to live through miracles of those of the time of Purim. Just as the result and the aftermath of Purim led the Jewish people to rebuild the second Temple, so too in our day and age we should recognize and witness the miraculous events of our time to ultimately see the rebuilding of the Bayis Shlishi, the third Temple speedily in our day.

Ah Gut Shabbos and Ah Freilichin Purim!

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky

This Dvar Torah is L’ilui Nishmas Mr. Emanuel (Manny) Mittelman Pinchas Elimelech Ben Yaakov Shmuel Z”L

During the last 20+ years that I’ve been in San Diego I have witnessed hundreds of visitors who have come through the doors of our shul, Beth Jacob. Some visit for just a short brief time while others choose to stay longer. There is the person who drops in to catch a Mincha and those who flee the cold weather, enjoying our community for a few months. The duration of a person’s stay doesn’t necessarily leave an impact; some who stay a while and hang around may not add or contribute more than someone whom I may not even get to know by name. Sometimes, within the range of time that guests stay, I try to get to know our visitors a bit - some more some less. For many years we had a group of guests dubbed the “Snowbirds”, a group of older retired or semi-retired couples who joined us for a few weeks to two months.

A week ago Shabbos, on the 11^th of Adar, Mr. Manny Mittelman left this world after ninety four years, leaving over one hundred direct descendants after he and his beloved wife, Bessie, of seventy years, YB”L, survived the holocaust. I watched his funeral from Eretz Yisrael and was moved deeply by the ninety minutes of hespedim/eulogies that were so aptly delivered by current and past communal leaders from the Detroit community in which he lived. I highly recommend that everyone take the time to listen to the entire service, or at least to some parts of it. I’m not going to repeat the eulogies here, but I will add an insight into who he was based upon the funeral itself.

A community is called a ‘kehilla,’ which stems from the first word of this week’s Parsha “Vayakhel Moshe”, and “Moshe gathered”. As I was viewing the funeral, not only did I pay attention to the eulogies, but to the people who delivered them. Mr. Mittelman was involved in all aspects of the Detroit Jewish community. He belonged to and associated with Jews from every spectrum across the Orthodox world. He was a part of Shuls, schools, kollelim, from the left to the right, from the modern to Chasidish and everything in between. The Maspidin/Eulogizers were from every camp within the Jewish world. The same could be said within his own family of children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and great great grandchildren, as they all grew up in his house and are all religious, observant Jews representing all kinds of stripes and colors. His own children, from Chasidic to modern, made up an incredible microcosm of the Jewish people. He accomplished all of this with the help, support, love and encouragement of his partner, Mrs. Bessie Mittelman, who should live and be well, who contributed actively and meaningfully to the shared life they built together.

Throughout the eulogies the video camera remained stationary, focusing on the podium from where the Rabbis and family members spoke. I am sure that had the camera been rotated, scanning the overflowing crowd of people in attendance, we would have seen a similar image of members of the entire Jewish community from one spectrum to the other. Mr. Mittelman had the uncanny ability to not only relate to everyone but to bring all factions together for one primary purpose: the honor of the Ribono Shel Olam, the Creator of the World. This ability was not limited to religious differences, it included people of all ages, from those who were older than he to young children. I have an eternally memorable picture of my own grandson reading to him from a siddur. He taught wisdom through the pearls of Torah that would spew from his lips; he demonstrated how to live as a Jew by being a role model for everyone, always displaying his Yiras Shamayim and Ahavas Yisroel.

Manny Mittelman’s ability to bring Jews together is consistent with the purpose and goals that Moshe aspired to in the desert with the Jewish people, particularly regarding the service and role of the Mishkan. In this week’s Parshas Vayakhel the Torah states in Shmos 35:1 “Vayakhel Moshe Es Kal Adas Bnei Yisrael, Vayomer Aleihem……And Moshe gathered the entire assembly of the Children of Israel and said to them….” The Sokotchove Rebbe says that the introduction to the Mishkan is the understanding of Vayakhel and gathering. The Jewish people stood at Har Sinai gathered together as ‘Ish Echod’ - like one man. Up until the Mishkan, independent, private altars known as ‘Bamos” were permitted; anyone could bring a sacrifice anytime at any place they wanted. Once the Mishkan was erected, however, the individual private ‘Bamos’ were outlawed, becoming forbidden. Everyone was required to bring their sacrifices to the Sanctuary. The existence of the Mishkan brought everyone together. The Mishkan rallied the entities to one place. But this was regarding the building of the Mishkan prior to sin of the Golden Calf. The Shem Mishmuel explains that after the sin of the Golden Calf, the only way to build the Mishkan was through the power of togetherness, by bringing Klal Yisrael together as one. Before the sin it was possible to build even with the strength of one part, even with the effort of one single individual. The Midrash states in Teruma, “Hashem said to Moshe that even one Jew is able to build the Mishkan.” The verse states: “any man who gives from his heart” can build the Tabernacle. Therefore, in Parshas Teruma which is prior to the Eigel HaZahav, the Golden Calf, there is no mention of ‘Vayakhel”.

The word VaYakhel -when Moshe gathered the nation - is identical to Mitzva 612 called Hakheil of the Torah whereby once every seven years, on Chol HaMoed Sukoos, the King of Israel would gather Klal Yisrael, all of the men, women and children, and read selections from the Torah. The Mitzva of Hakheil was all-inclusive. There were no distinctions between one Jew and another. The Mitzva reestablished a certain togetherness of Am Yisrael and acceptance towards one another. This was the unique ability, the rare quality that Mr. Mittelman possessed. Perhaps it was his witnessing of the horrors that took place against our people that created his open love of every Jew, independently and collectively. Many people speak about Ahavas Yisrael, but Mr.Mittleman demonstrated it throughout his life. That was the tribute he so deserved and received by the people who spoke about him and the people who were there to listen. His life was underscored by this attempt to build a Mishkan that we could all live within and be a part of. Yehi Zichro Baruch!

Ah Gut Shabbos

Yogi Berra was an unlikely athlete: 5-foot-7, 185 pounds. He got his nickname as a teenager because he resembled a yogi, or so the story goes. He was a notoriously bad ball hitter, reaching for pitches outside the strike zone, and yet he won the American League MVP award three times, and played on 10 world championship teams, winning 14 pennant winners (both major league records) in the course of his 19-year career.

Berra's most famous turn of phrase was probably "It ain't over till it's over." -- a deceptively simple statement of depth. What he meant was that we need to stay aware, stay focused, and, most important, never give up. Stand firm for your values, stand up for yourself. There are times in life when things don’t go smoothly, particularly in the beginning. Perseverance is a critical value, a trait a person must have and refine to get through some of the difficulties and push backs in life. Opportunity knocks on the door for someone willing to work hard to open it up. If a person tries to open a door only one time, giving up after one unsuccessful attempt, that person will never be successful.

I must admit to my utter dismay I am surprised and saddened by a certain attitude that I sense within the community. We have dozens of events in our community, not limited to davening, learning, lecturers, meals and more. I hope I am wrong, but my sense is that if something is not right at the beginning, a give up attitude prevails. When a lecturer begins a talk, the first few moments may not be immediately effective, but by the end of the talk the impact of what was said may be profound. Even in a series of talks, I have witnessed people who do not come back and listen to the other lectures, based upon their initial assessment of the first lecture.

Unfortunately for the student or the mature listener, people tend to shut down when the speaker is not a top-class entertainer. Lecturers tend not to be entertainers; they are presenters of ideas, concepts, things to mull over and learn through. Most of the time the later lectures or presentations far exceed the expectations of those in attendance, yet people lose out because they gave up too early. It is disappointing to me how a person has such lack of patience. If a talk for some reason just doesn’t match with prior expectations, all too often the baby is thrown out with the bathwater. When a person eats out in a restaurant and is displeased or not excited about the appetizer, he usually does not just get up and leave the restaurant Just because a person didn’t enjoy the first lecture, speech, or initial impression of the guest presenter is not justification for avoiding attending remaining lectures of Torah yet to be taught. ( I might add very strongly while I’m on the subject, that it is a shame and an embarrassment to our kehillah when speakers are brought in particularly on Shabbos and people choose to do other things - including learning during the lecture. To put it frankly, person who learns while a guest speaker is talking is making a statement that their Torah is more important or greater. It is honestly inappropriate. Secondly, if the average person sees the above-average person not going to the lecture or shiur, a message is sent that it’s not worth the time, causing others to perhaps not to attend. There is a certain derch eretz that needs to be addressed; people need to think about how their actions affect the klal.

The path to a person’s growth may not take place with the instant gratification of one lecture; such growth needs time to perk, to take root It is actually Chazal who say not to give up even when the sword is on your neck; it’s never too late. Furthermore, we see in this week’s Torah reading how necessary it is to go through difficult times in the beginning to actualize the sweetness of life later on.

In this week’s Parsha T’Tzaveh the Torah states in Shmos 27:20 “V’Ata T’Tzaveh Es Bnai Yisrael, V’Yikchu Eilecha Shemen Zayis Zach, Kasis LaMaor, L’Haalos Ner Tamid”. “You, [Moshe], must command the Israelites to bring you clear, illuminating oil, made from hand-crushed olives, to keep the lamp constantly burning”. The great Chasidic master R’ Chanoch Of Aleksander* explains the idea of the oil in a different manner than the more common teaching. Shemen/Oil and olive oil in particular is a hint for wisdom and knowledge. There is a specific type of preparation needed when a person wants to acquire knowledge. At first, a person needs to walk in ways of a bitter soul. A bitter inside and an olive represents or hints to the idea of bitterness. This bitterness will crush (Kasis) a person’s soul and lead the soul to loftier and higher levels. After that Hashem will help him open, enlighten his eyes in the service and worship of Hashem, referencing L’Maor L’Haalos Ner Tamid.

This has a similar idea regarding the wood of the tree that Moshe threw into the water at Marah (the place named bitter). According to the Mechilta in B’Shalach 25 “the water was bitter and became sweet with bitterness”. In the natural order this makes no sense and is difficult to comprehend. Obviously, it was a miraculous feat as is confirmed the verse in Shmos 15:25 that the ‘waters became sweetened’. The Jewish people felt they had done something wrong by complaining about not having water to drink. As the Torah describes in Shmos 15:24: “The people complained to Moses, “What shall we drink?” They went around feeling and acting bitterly down to their inner being. The Jews then proclaimed, “What have we done that we have sinned?” This bitter feeling played on their emotions, working on them, turning the water on their lips from bitterness to sweetness.

The Midrash Chadash explains why olive oil is different than all other oil. At the outset the olive is bitter but in the end it is sweet. So too the Jewish people and the nation of Israel will endure bitterness through the exiles in order to be sweetened by the time of Moshiach. A second analogy is just as the olive is first bitter then turns sweet, so too the Jewish people will live bitter lives in this world so that they may earn reward for the world to come. Lastly, the olive is bitter but in the end turns sweet, so to the Jewish people will not return and repent from their evil doings until they are pressed and crushed like the olive so that they will enjoy the sweetness of the redemption during messianic times.

The Shiur, class, meal, book, or event is not over until it’s over, don’t give up on it and don’t leave early for you may lose out on the most basic and important things necessary to grow as a Jew.

Ah Gut Shabbos

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky

*Rabbi Chanoch Henich HaKohen of Alexander was born in Poland, 1798-1870 (Adar II). Rabbi Chanoch was a disciple of Rabbi Simcha Bunam of Pshis'cha, Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Kotzk and Rabbi Yitzchak Meir Alter, the Chidushei Harim. Rabbi Chanoch was known for his great wisdom in niglah and nistar, the revealed and mystical aspects of the Torah. A man of miracles and wonders, he was known also for praying loudly with great excitement.

Question: Has digital communication changed my attention span? When asked about the effects of digital communication, people often note that the ability to maintain focused concentration has changed. According to a study conducted by Microsoft, the average person’s attention span has dropped from 12 seconds in the year 2000 to less than 8 seconds today – which is shorter than the attention span of a goldfish.

Scientific evidence indeed suggests that sustained ability to attend to a task is changing – but this does not imply that attention spans are becoming shorter. As psychologist Gemma Briggs points out, “The average attention span is pretty meaningless. It’s very much task-dependent. How much attention we apply to a task will vary depending on what the task demand is. The actual definition of ‘attention span’ is the interval during which an individual can concentrate, as on a single object, idea, or activity.” We can assess and illustrate some of this theory by evaluating an event that will take place this coming Sunday.

MarketWatch estimates that a full hour of the Super Bowl broadcast consists of advertisements, while the halftime show usually lasts about 13 minutes. That means that even if you don’t watch football, you watch 73 minutes of the Super Bowl. If everyone did this, we would cumulatively watch the Super Bowl for 8,168,700,000 minutes — 15,541 years or 219 lives on Earth.

Most live football coverage is replays, people standing around and men talking. The actual action of the football game — when the ball is in play — is about 12 minutes long. If you wanted to watch the entire “Super Bowl” for the love of the sport, you could do so in less time than it takes to heat a frozen lasagna in the oven or even daven Mincha. So why is it that people can stay involved and pay attention to something that lasts for so long? Could they listen to a series of Torah classes for that same period? There are claims that kids don’t have the attention span that kids had a generation or two ago. I flatly disagree. They have enormous attention spans. For example, kids and adults alike are able to play video games with the greatest intensity and concentration for hours. It is not about the ability to pay attention; such sustained focus is determined by the material and kind of activity that is being viewed.

In this week’s parsha Mishpatim the Torah states in the very last verse of Shmos 24:18: “Vayavo Moshe B’soch He’Anan VaYaal El HaHar, Vayehi Moshe BaHar Arbaim Yom V’Arbaim Layla”: “Moshe went into the cloud and climbed to the mountain top. Moshe was to remain on the mountain for forty days and forty nights”. This narrative continues in Ki Sisa Shmos 31:18 with the episode of the Golden Calf.

The introduction to the sefer HaChinuch says that Moshe learned the entire Oral Torah on Har Sinai for forty days and forty nights. If he were there only to receive and learn the ten commandments, he would have finished in one day. Truth be told, Moshe didn’t even need forty days to accomplish all the learning because it was Hashem teaching him; Moshe could have easily completed all this learning in fewer days. God intentionally took longer so as to demonstrate that Moshe, and subsequently every Jew, should learn Torah with a clear, focused head while being calm and patient. In addition, this taught us that it is necessary to instruct every Jew to study until he clearly understands what he is learning. It is only in such an environment that a person can learn a lot with calm. This is the only way a person can attain the highest level of learning; a person cannot learn impulsively or in haste.

The purpose for Moshe being on top of the mountain for precisely forty days -not less and not more - is connected to the formation of a fetus in the mother’s womb. The forty days in heaven is to wipe away and cleanse the limbs connecting the physical world to the spiritual. It is at that precise moment of the forty days with this infusion of holiness that we are able to understand the secrets and the depth of the Torah. We are transformed from a physical blob of bone, flesh and blood to become like a ministering angel with no physical component, becoming a new-born creation. Furthermore, it was during those forty days that Moshe was transformed and was reborn; he was not the same Moshe he had been prior to climbing the mountain to learn from Hashem. The spirituality that he merited on top of the mountain was intense; there was a big difference before and after.

The Yalkut Shimoni brings a story about the Tanna Rav Yochanan who traveled from Teveriyah to Tzippori along with Rebbi Chiya Bar Abba. As they passed a field, Reb Yochanan remarked, “that field belonged to me, but I sold it so that I could learn Torah.” They continued the journey and came upon an olive tree and again, Reb Yochanan stated, “that olive tree was mine, but I sold it to learn more Torah.” They then passed a vineyard, and the same declarations were repeated for the sake of learning Torah. Reb Chiya began to cry and was asked by Rav Yochanan why he was crying. Reb Chiya said, “I am crying because you haven’t left anything for your old age. You had income, but you sold it all.” Reb Yochanan replied, “Is the matter so simple in your mind that I sold something that only took six days to create and bought something that was given over a forty-day period?” When Rav Yochanan died they praised him with the words of Shlomo Hamelech from Shir Hashirim 8:7: Many waters of heathen tribulation cannot extinguish the fire of this love, nor can rivers of royal seduction or torture wash it away. Were any man to offer all the treasure of his home to entice you away from your love, they would scorn him to extreme. This means to say if a person wants to give away all the treasures of his house so that he could acquire the love that Rav Yochanan had for the Torah, you would be scorned. There is no treasure in the world that could purchase the intensity of desire and love for the Torah that he had.

A person who learns with ‘hasmada’, defined either as diligence or consistency, does not necessarily have a greater or lesser attention span. If there is a desire and love for anything, a person has all the time in the world for it. When something is valued, it grabs our attention and we don’t want to leave it or let go. When there is something that we desire, we do not tire from working to attain it. To the contrary, it becomes a part of us. The teaching of Torah should not be altered to accommodate time, rather it is the love of learning itself that needs to be improved upon. Once the love of learning Torah becomes a part of us, as in the case of Moshe, we will not have any issue in learning for days on end, without food or drink to ‘break things up’, because then we WILL have the true attention span necessary to master the Torah and make it an integral part of who we are.

Parshas B'Shalach - Dead or Alive

Last Shabbos, as the Aron HaKodesh opened, a feeling of sadness fell upon me. For those of you who know the Aron at our Shul, it houses three Sifrei Torah, but to my dismay, only two out of those three were present. At first glance I was shocked, and then alarm and panic gripped hold of me. Immediately, I thought it might have been borrowed without permission. Then… emerged the dreaded thought, “Was it stolen?!” As my mind raced during those few seconds while singing the words of “VaYehi Binsoa HaAron” - ‘carrying the Ark’ I began to focus and remembered what had happened only a few weeks prior. Here is a description of the background as to what led to my apprehension.

Throughout life many people in their respective professions learn and prepare for unique situations, possible emergencies that they hope will never materialize or come to fruition. It is almost like buying insurance: we need it and must have it but hope never to use it. This is even more true in the Rabbinate. Many laws and Halachos are learned and studied, mostly for the theoretical possibility - as remote as it may be - to know what and how to proceed in a situation when a split-second decision is needed. Sure, there are times when a question arises and there is ample time to go back and review the law, but often one needs to act immediately, relying on memory, expertise and a lot of Siyata Dishmaya, Heavenly Assistance. During our smicha training, Rabbi Wein reviewed many scenarios including the most recent.

It was an ordinary Shabbos morning, and we were rolling along, zipping through Torah reading. During the sixth Aliyah my eyes were trying to focus in on a word, working to decipher the word’s letters. The word was distorted; as I peered in closely, my heart sank, realizing that some of the ink had begun to fade on some of the letters. One letter, a yud, had almost completely disintegrated. Emotionally, or perhaps psychologically, I was trying to figure out how this Torah was still kosher at the very least and most lenient opinion. This thinking clearly gave way to my intellectual and educational background, fully knowing that this sefer Torah was passul/invalid and therefore not kosher for use. At that point as I hovered over the Torah, other men on the bimah started to peer over, searching for the error. After I declared it passul and motioned to bring another Torah out, a group of men moved into action, helping with the Torah. It reminded me (and others) how if God forbid, a human being needed medical attention a crowd would quickly gather round to help. A few of the guys helped dress the passul Torah while others quickly brought out another Torah to continue the laining. During this commotion I and all those around me felt a keen sense of this now-passul Torah feeling as though it was a living human being. The Torah, which is the Eitz Chaim - the Tree of Life - was now injured, perhaps critically; it needed to be carried away while all of us hoped for the best. There was a sudden, strong feeling of loss that gripped everyone who had witnessed the Torah ‘going down’; a sense of defeat and despair permeated through the Shul. The good news is that a sefer Torah can always be repaired. Unlike Tefilin and a Mezuza which, when a letter is cracked or missing will most of the time be declared permanently invalid, a Torah most often can be repaired and can be brought back to life.

It is interesting to note that the word Meis- dead- is used to describe something that is permanent and final. When the Torah records the death of the great leaders, the word ‘dead’ is not used. Instead the phrase ‘he was gathered’ or ‘departed’ is used, signifying that dying is not complete; the body has died, but not the soul.

In this week’s Parshas B’Shalach, when telling the story of the Egyptians drowning in the Sea of Reeds, the Torah is reluctant to state that all the Egyptians ‘died’. Instead, in Shmos 14:20, the Torah states: “Vayashuvu Hamayim Vayechasu Es HaRechev V’Es Haparashim, L’Chol Cheil Paroh HaBaim Achareihem Bayam, Lo Nishar Bahem Od Echad”; “And the waters returned and covered the chariots, and the horsemen, even all the host of Pharaoh that went in after them into the sea; there remained not so much as one of them”. The language, that there remained not so much one of them is also used when describing the end of the fifth plague in Shmos 9:6: “Vaya’as Hashem Es Hadavar Hazeh Mimacharas, VaYamas Kol Miknei Mitzrayim, U’MiMiknei Bnei Yisrael Lo Meis Echad”. “And HaShem did that thing on the morrow, and all the cattle of Egypt died; but of the cattle of the children of Israel died not one”. Dovid HaMelech, in Tehilim 106:11 uses the same expression, “Echad Meihem Lo Nosar” - “that not one of them remained”. We actually recite this in the paragraph leading up to the morning Amida. One of the Baalei Tosafotwrites, ‘Lo Nishar Bahen Od Echad’, but one did remain! He uses a certain rule of ‘up until’ or ‘including’ the last part of a statement. Who was the one person that actually survived the drowning from the Red Sea? It is explained that the Pharoah survived and it was none of them refers to his people who survived. The Midrash explains that the Malach Gavriel came and purged Pharoah in the water for fifty days as a direct punishment for Pharoah exclaiming ‘Who is God?’ The word Mi in Hebrew also spells out the word water, which has the numerical value of fifty.

The Mechilta records a dispute as to what happened to Pharoah. Rebbi Yehuda says even Pharoah drowned, but Rebbi Nechemia says everyone died except for Pharoah. A third opinion is that Pharoah went in last and drowned. The Midrash Seichel Tov tells us that Pharoah did go down into the water and Hashem turned him on his face and the water covered him, but his soul did not leave him. At that point an angel of Hashem plucked Pharoah out of the water and brought him to the city of Ninveh. Hashem spared Pharoah so that he could relate the amazing feats that the God of the Jews performed for them against him. Hashem wanted Pharoah to reveal His name throughout the land of Ninveh and throughout the world. The Rabbis say he ruled over Ninveh for five hundred years and brought them back to repent. How awesome it was for the man who denied and rebelled against Hashem to promote and bring greatness to His name, whereby Pharoah himself declared, “Who is as great as the God of the Jews!”

For this reason Hashem saved him so he could be the messenger to bring about a revolution of Teshuva among the non-Jews of the world. Therefore, the verses do not use the word ‘dead’ as if there were no return. To the contrary, when there is a little bit of life left, it has the capability to accomplish many things. Although our Sefer Torah ‘looked dead’ it was not! It is temporarily out of commission. If we allow it to go without attending to its aging, it might eventually deteriorate beyond repair. I remind myself when I see the empty space in the Aron/Ark that this Torah is being taken care of. It is being repaired and will be brought back to life. Not only will it be brought back to life for its own sake, but it is being restored back to life to be the Living Torah whose purpose is to spread the word of Hashem to us and all of humanity!

There is a certain thrill one gets in learning Torah. The different levels of excitement or appreciation come from the person with whom I am learning or preparing. The gemara in Taanis relates that in general there are three kinds of people we learn from: a teacher, a colleague, and a student. For me, I get the most out of my Torah learning when a student reaches a level to ask and derive questions from other things we’ve learned previously. It displays a genuine depth of understanding and grasping of material, revealing measurable signs of growth.

Last week, one of my study partners asked the following question: In Parshas Shmos Hashem gave Moshe three signs by which to convince the Egyptians and the Jews that he, Moshe, was a messenger from God. In Shmos, Perek 4 Pesukim 3,6, and 9 three signs are given: his staff turning into a snake and back again to a rod; Moshe’s hand, which develops leprosy when first inserted in his shirt and then, after repeating the process, it comes out healthy again; The third sign is when Moshe took some water and turned it into blood as a sign that this will be the first of the ten plagues. My chavrusa asked: if later Hashem wasn’t going to allow Moshe to smite the Nile, as we see in parshas Vaera, why even bother doing the miracle of the water with him? Doesn’t God know that Moshe would not be able to hit the Nile because he had to show Hakaras Hatov - gratitude toward the water - because it saved him? The following is the selection in question.

In this week’s Parshas Vaera the Torah states, Shmos 7:19: "VaYomer Hashem El Moshe Emor El Aharon, Kach Matcha UnTei Yadcha Al Meimei Mitzrayim Al Naharosam, Al Y’Oreihem, V’Al Agmeihem, V’Al Kal Mikvey Meimeihem V’Yihyu Dam, V’Haya Dam B’Chol Eretz Mitzrayim UVaeitzim UBa’Avanim.” : God said to Moshe, “Tell Aaron to take his staff and extend his hand over the waters of Egypt – over their rivers, their canals, their reservoirs, and every place where water is kept, and the water shall turn into blood. There will be blood throughout all Egypt, even in wooden barrels and stone jars.” An almost identical verse and command is repeated at the time of the third plague of lice, upon which Rashi comments in an identical fashion as well. Rashi explains, ‘Since the river offered protection to Moshe when he was cast into it, therefore it was not smitten by his hand, neither with the plague of blood nor with the frogs; but it was smitten by Aharon’. This instruction is repeated in Shmos 8:12 where Rashi gives a similar explanation. ‘The dust was not deserving to be smitten by the hands of Moshe, since it protected him when he killed the Egyptian and concealed him in the sand; and therefore, it was smitten by the hands of Aharon.”

The name of the parsha is Vaera, which means ‘I revealed Myself’, as in Hashem telling Moshe He appeared to the forefathers. For me, it rings loudly as I reviewed this section a few times working through in the process of answering this question. My initial thought was God doesn’t take decisions out of our hands; rather he places the challenge or situation in front of us to make the decision on our own. Hashem wants Moshe to come the realization that he needs to have gratitude to the Nile for protecting him. After further review (revelation), the initial test in Shmos commands Moshe to take some water out from the Nile and turn it into blood, in contrast to turning the entire river red. This answer removes the question completely Upon further and deeper review, however, another answer was revealed to me in an obscure sefer - K’ayal TaArog

If one steps back to analyze this, one might reach a different conclusion regarding the reason Moshe should not have been the one to do the first three Makkos (plagues). Anyone with a little common sense realizes that the water and the sand didn’t really do anything to protect him. The protection came from his sister Miriam when she placed him into the basket. The water was just helping Miriam. So, in reality, the water by itself doesn’t deserve any particular mention or reward. Therefore, even if Moshe would have been the one to smack the Nile, the river would not have had a complaint against Moshe. We should not apply the principle of ‘denying the good’ vis a vis the river. Furthermore, we could argue that the river was just doing its job exactly as God had intended. Nevertheless, with all that said, the river did fulfill the will of Hashem, therefore elevating its level of holiness. The fact that the river turned into blood proves that it followed the will of its creator and raised its level of sanctity. We should not view the river turning into blood as a punishment. So, why do all the commentaries - led by Rashi - explain that Moshe had to have a sensitivity and gratitude to the river and therefore needed to have Aharon begin the plague?

Rav Aleksander Yehoshua Levinson of Har Nof, Yerushalayim in his sefer K’Ayal TaArog, formalized this approach and answers in the following manner: There are two approaches or paths when it comes to the fulfillment of Mitzvos between man and his fellow man. The first and obvious side is the benefit the recipient of the kindness receives from the giving of his friend. (There is also the flip side of doing something harmful to our fellow). The second way to observe the act is the benefit to the giver. At the same moment that he is giving or doing the kindness, he is refining his good character qualities. When a person does a ‘chessed’ - a kindness - he becomes a Baal chessed, a master of kindness. The act of chessed that he or she performs transforms the person’s middos and refines them another notch above. The act of chessed converts into the midda itself and strengthens it.

Rav Dessler compares a person’s middos to a ladder. Each one of us is on a certain rung. All the middos that are beneath that rung have been conquered by that person; the person was victorious over each previous challenge. The evil inclination no longer has the upper hand over it so it gives up on that point. Any middos that are above the rung are those we still strive to perfect. When we fulfill a mitzva ,not only do we receive reward, but it puts another notch into climbing the ladder of that trait. Through this process a person begins to change, conquering the trait and making it part of his essence. Rav Soloveichik, in his sefer ‘Al HaTeshuva, explains the difference between atonement and purity. A sin causes two bad things for a person: 1) the sin causes him to receive a punishment. 2) The sin causes the person to become a sinner; he defiles himself, lowering himself from what a human being should be. Teshuva, repentance, comes to fix these two corrupt events. First, Teshuva atones for the punishment and purifies the sinner from the impurity of the sin. This notion is all the more emphatic: doing a chessed causes the person to develop into a kinder individual.

99749. the perspective of ‘the letter of the law’, the concern that Moshe should not hit the Nile or the sand that protected him is now easily understood. But we must realize it was not because Moshe was under any obligation. To the contrary, he could have done the Makkah (plague), because his only true gratitude would have been toward Basya, the daughter of Pharoah, who literally spared him. Only he did not do the hitting himself because the middah of Hakaras Hatov would be weakened within him if he smote the water by a little bit or strengthened the character trait of gratitude by overcoming and withdrawing from doing so a little more each time. That is why Hashem told Moshe to let Aharon do it, to sensitize Moshe even more so as to improve his Middos a little at a time, fine tuning his overall character as the leader of His people.

Ah Gut Shabbos

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky

The Gemara in Chagiga 16a quotes: “There are six things that are said regarding a human being: three of them are like angels and the three are like animals.” There are a few other sources with identical phraseology of ‘six things - three are this and three are that’. The Gemara, in Shabbos 151b, states: there are six kinds of tears, three are good for the body and three are bad”; “Six things are said by wine – ‘three are for the good and three are for the bad’.

My version is that there are six things that generally happen to individuals; they think it only happens to them and to no one else: three of them are bad… and I would like to hear from any of you readers the three good things that happen to people. Let me explain by giving the three things that have happened to me. Most recently, my cars were vandalized by some joy-walking people who decided to rip off the windshield wiper arm off the back window of one car and smash the driver’s side mirror on the second vehicle. This has given me a good bit of aggravation. I have wasted time and money, for no worthwhile, meaningful reason that I could think of. I thought that vandalism of this kind only happened to me, but when I related this to someone else, he told me that the same thing had happened to his wife’s car a few months ago. The second thing that happened to me actually occurred twice within the last nine month - credit card fraud, requiring freezing the current cards being used until new ones can be issued. The credit card company reverses the fraudulent charges and are very good at securing your account. But it is inconvenient and makes daily living a little more challenging. After mentioning this to a few people, they all started telling me their own stories of credit card fraud on their accounts. I supposed these shared tales of woe aren’t necessarily bad unless your intention was to be unique. How often does a person purchase a car deep down feeling that no one else has that car. It may be that the person buying the car simply wants to feel unique or feel nerdy that he/she is the only one on the planet driving that kind of a car. Later, driving around town in this brand new car begins to notice the same vehicle everywhere! Bottom line: in all three scenarios we felt we were the only victims or the only buyers when, in reality, we all share the same similar fate and aggravation.

There is a real dichotomy with this kind of thinking. Sometimes we want to feel special - but not when it comes at an expense. As we conclude sefer Bereishis, the story of Yosef and his brothers comes to an end. Yakov dies, leaving the brothers susceptible and exposed to Yosef’s revenge and retribution. Each one of the Shevatim received a Bracha from their father Yakov which was independent of his siblings, with the exception of Efraim and Menashe, who received theirs together. The brothers continue to witness different treatment between them and Yosef through the children. As far as they are concerned, their take on receiving a bracha was the supposition that perhaps they each were unique when receiving a blessing from their father. Did they know at the time that everyone was getting a bracha? Did they believe that bracha each of them had received was solely for that one brother, for better or for worse? Maybe they viewed receiving a bracha as a necessary act because their father thought they would be bad and lead a life of sin without it. This thought was not so farfetched after learning the family history of the blessings their grandfather Yitzchok originally set to give Eisav but was taken instead by their father Yaakov. It was going to be a certain bracha for the future creativeness that would be necessary for Eisav to lead an upstanding life. Nevertheless, Yosef recognized all of this and tried to quell their fears.

In this week’s parshas Vayechi the Torah states in Bereishis 50:21: “V’ata Al Tira’u, Anochi Achalkeil Eschem V’Es Tapchem, Vay’nacheim Osam, Vayidaber al Libam” - “Now don’t worry. I will fully provide for you and your children.” According to Rashi, ‘Yosef thus comforted them and tried to make up’, explaining that the words of Yosef were words receptive to the hearts of his brothers. Yosef explained, “Before you came down to this land, people murmured about me that I was only a lowly slave; it was through you that it became known that I am a free man. Now, if I were to kill you, what would people say? A group of young men did Joseph see and he glorified himself through them and said, ‘they are my brothers’, and in the end he killed them. Is there a brother who kills his own brothers?” Reb Yisroel Salanter in his sefer Be’er Yosef comments that on the one hand Yosef’s words are to comfort them, assuring them that he would not harm them. On the other hand, however, when he tells them, “Is there a brother who would kill his brother?” Yosef stares into the eyes of those who were guilty of that exact crime, wanting to kill their brother. How could these words be interpreted as Yosef tried to comfort them? He answers that, in truth, a brother does not kill his own brother. It is antithetical to the course of nature for that to be the case. With this, Yosef reiterates again that this was not a natural course of events but rather a series of events directly from Hashem. God orchestrated an unnatural set of circumstances, having brothers trying to kill their brother, as a sign that the entire purpose was only to arrange the family to down to Goshen, averting the family suffering from famine.

This kind of comfort would be accepted by the any nation of the world in order to reconcile a family, bringing it together. How much more so for the number one Jewish family of Yakov and his twelve sons. The words were truly comforting knowing that this all came about to show the brothers that it was the hand of God which was involved in the entire process. The Jewish people should give comfort to each other by standing behind each and every brother of ours. The story of Yosef and his brothers is a template for the Jewish people to learn and apply our responsibility to ultimately treat each other.

Ah Gut Shabbos

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky

The White House Chanukah Party is an annual reception held in the east wing of the White House and hosted by the U.S. President and First Lady to recognize and celebrate the Jewish festival of Chanukah. The tradition was established in 2001, during the administration of George W. Bush. The guest list includes hundreds of American Jewish politicians, organization heads, and school and yeshiva deans. While presidents prior to President Bush held menorah lighting ceremonies, none hosted an actual party/reception with kosher food to top it off!

December 22^nd, 2003 was the nineteenth party of the season that the President and first lady had thrown. It was this party, President Bush’s final party of the season, that my wife Leah and I had the privilege to attend. The experience was a truly awesome one. The White house was regal and decorated for the season. Despite the overwhelming decorative spirit of the non-Jewish holidays, it was a Chanukah celebration. With the Marine band playing ‘Sevivon Sof Sof Sof’ and ‘I have a little dreidle’, a feeling of Jewish pride permeated the White House that night.

According to some halachik opinions, the President of the United States of America has the same legal status as that of a king. There is a halacha in the Shulchan Aruch which states if one is to see a king in person, a special blessing is recited. Since the impeachment of President Nixon, there is a debate in today’s law as to whether a President has the same status as a king. If a President could be removed by the people, then he does not have the status of a king. Be that as it may, the feeling that one has being in the presence of the President of the United States conveys the same feelings as being in front of a king. In fact, while waiting on the receiving line, a few of the Rabbis began discussing the question of whether to recite the bracha in full, or perhaps without God’s name, or maybe not at all. As the discussion went back and forth, we inched closer to the room where the President and First Lady greeted us and had a photo op. Every Rabbi and Rebbetzin came to their own conclusion of if and what to say or not. After a few minutes of private time with the President, we roamed around the east wing, totally soaking up the experience.

When I returned home and talked about our meeting with the President, I was asked, ”So, did you make a Bracha or not?” I replied as follows:: “As we moved into the room with the President, the entire scene became surreal. We recognized the person because we had seen him on television and in newspapers so many times, but this was different. We were obviously nervous and focused on the moment of being right there, making sure we did everything correctly and appropriately.. We concentrated so much on just being there, that we totally forgot, in fact didn’t even think about making a bracha. So, in the end,we did not say the blessing - not because we thought we shouldn’t say it, but because we were in a daze! This incident shed some great light on a difficult passage in the Torah.

In this week’s Parshas Mikeitz the Torah describes the meeting of Yosef and his brothers for the first time since they had sold him twenty-two years earlier. In Bereishis 42:8 the Torah states: “VaYaker Yosef Es Echav, V’Heim Lo HiKirhu”. “And Joseph recognized his brothers, but they did not recognize him”. Rashi explains the reason why Yosef recognized them but his brothers did not recognize that it was Yosef (even though they were searching for him). The reason was because when Yosef was taken away, the brothers all had beards. Yosef, however, had no beard when he was sold to the Ishmaelites. Now, twenty-two years later, Yosef had a full beard. Many people find this Rashi difficult to accept. How could a brother not recognize a brother even after not seeing each other for so long? A second question is that only a few verses earlier the Torah records that Yosef did recognize them, so why repeat it? The Iben Ezra explains that Yosef does at first recognize them as a group but not each brother individually. Later, however he is able to recognize and identify each one. The Ramba”n goes further and explains that when they said they had down from Canaan to buy food, Yosef knew that these men were his brothers.The Malbi”m says that once he heard their voices, it confirmed that they were indeed his brothers. The Rada”k expounds that Yosef tried to ‘show them’ his love, that he would not hurt them, but they still failed to recognize him, believing that Yosef actually wanted to kill them. I would like to pose support to the notion that despite the fact that they were looking for Yosef, it never would occur to them that Yosef was actually in this high position. In addition, everyone around called Yosef “Tzafnas Paneach” and Yosef was speaking Egyptian, not Hebrew. Ultimately, the brothers did not expect this and therefore when they came face to face with Yosef there was a disconnect. They never thought that this high-ranking Egyptian-looking official was their brother. When my wife and I were with the President, the awesome feeling at the time created a blanking out of everything else including the issue of reciting a bracha. Sometimes the shock of something unexpected happens, creating a block in our brains, keeping us from processing even simple things such as recognizing one’s own brother. While standing in front of the president, I started thinking, ”"Is that really him?! Am I really seeing the president?!” My mind started to play tricks on me and created some doubt within the moment. So, too, the brothers could not have imagined that this great person was Yosef, and even if they had thought it might be Yosef, they dismissed that idea and said, ”Impossible! Can’t be Yosef!”

Finally, there is a theory that every human being has a look-alike in the world. Some believe even more than that. There are many times I see photos of someone who looks identical to someone else I know. The brothers may have thought to themselves, ”Yeh, it looks like Yosef, but it can’t be.” Ultimately, it was the plan of Hashem to facilitate Yosef recognizing them, but making it not possible for the brothers to recognize him in order to carry out a master plan of the Jewish people coming down to Mitzrayim and fulfilling the Bris Bein HaBesarim, the covenant with Avraham. This was all a pretext to prepare the birth of Am Yisrael in Egypt, emerging into the world as a nation. The goal was to eventually come to recognize each other, eliminating the animosity that once existed so as to create brotherly love, uniting the hearts of Acheinu Kal Beis Yisrael!

Ah Gut Shabbos & Ah Lichtiga Chanukah

IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ TO THE END

The American Automobile Association projects that 54.3 million Americans will journey 50 miles or more away from home this Thanksgiving, a 4.8 percent increase over last year. The 2018 holiday weekend will see the highest Thanksgiving travel volume in more than a dozen years (since 2005), with 2.5 million more people taking to the nation’s roads, skies, rails and waterways compared with last year. For the 48.5 million Americans planning a Thanksgiving road trip, INRIX, a global mobility analytics company, predicts travel times in the most congested cities in the U.S. could be as much as four times longer than a normal trip. Regardless of the means of transportation, travelers are figuring out ways (waze) to minimize their travel time in order to maximize the fun and meaningful time spent with family or on the vacation.

Unfortunately, many people don’t plan adequately, leaving home just hoping for the best. In all of my travel experience, relying on ‘hope’ that travel plans will go smoother than predicted is both reckless and imprudent. I’ve often come across similar crossroads when I first began to use ‘Waze’. I would question the directions offered by the navigation system, choosing to ignore the ‘off road’ or ‘exit here’ directions because I reasoned to myself that the current traffic will ‘clear up’, doubting the program’s ability to navigate from upon high (so to speak). Perhaps, one out of one hundred times, my choice to ignore the input from that Waze voice didn’t really make a difference, but the other ninety-nine times proved quickly to be a bumper-to-bumper mistake. We think we know better, but sometimes we humans must come to trust and realize that an outside source or, or even a computerized voice opinion might be a better option.

What is it that gets into a person’s head to consciously choose to take a road or path that ultimately leads to the wrong destination? Why is it that as soon as we see and clearly understand that this choice is not a wise one, that it’s not the right way, we still do not turn around or take a different path? There is a famous saying of the Rabbis, “B’Derech She’Adam Rotzeh Leilech Bah, Molichin Oso”, literally translated “On the road/path that a person wants to go on, we lead him”. Figuratively, Hashem allows a person to make his own choices, to go down whichever road in life he chooses, and Hashem will help and lead him that way. If we insist upon living life a certain way, no one will oppose us. Nor will God put obstacles in our way to prevent us from even going down the wrong path. To the contrary, there will be signs that cause us to be convinced that this is the correct choice. This statement is found in Gemara Makos 10b and in the Midrash Bamidbar Rabbah 20:11, taken from Parshas Balak whereby Bilaam wants to curse the Jews and is refused by Hashem. Bilaam persists several times until God gives in and allows Bilaam to go. The Midrash explains that God said, “If you want to go, then go, even though I know it is not good for you.” Since Bilaam wanted to go, Hashem not only let him go, He led him down that road. The commentary Matnas Kehuna spells it out, clearly, stating: Even though the action is directly against what Hashem wants, He helps them go that way!

What does one do to prevent this from happening? First and foremost, we need to understand that this challenge is nothing new. Every one of us, the great, the famous, the person struggling to just live a good life, is confronted with such tests. We must learn from our trusted leaders how to prevent ourselves from negative inflluences. In this week’s Parsha Vayishlach Yaakov meets his brother Eisav after twenty-two years. The anticipated fear subsided when they met, and Yaakov prostrated himself before his brother Eisav. At the conclusion of their reunion, Eisav said to Yaakov, “Vayomer Nis’ah V’Neileicha, V’Eilcha L’Negdecha”: “Let’s get going and move on,” said Esau, “I will travel alongside you.” (Bereishis 33:12). A short exchange takes place between the two, with Eisav trying to convince Yaakov to accompany him wherever he and his family go. Yaakov makes excuses, saying, “I will come to join you in Seir.” Yaakov then diverted his journey, traveling to Sukkot. Yaakov is afraid to travel with Eisav for fear of the negative influence his brother would have on his family. Eisav, on the surface, tries to get Yaakov to accompany him. The sefer Peninei Torah explains that Eisav was not so innocent after all. Eisav stated,, “Let us go together………(and if not)…….. I will go against you!” Eisav, in actuality, gave Yaakov an ultimatum: Either you come with me or I will become your nemesis for all time. Either we go together down the same road of terror, sin and anti-God, or if you choose to go your own path, I will constantly fight against you and your principles. Yaakov responds to Eisav: Berishis 33:14 “Please go ahead of me, my lord. I will lead my group slowly, following the pace of the work that I have ahead of me, and the pace of the children.” Eisav replies again, “Let me put some of my people at your disposal,” on the surface presumably to help with his family’s traveling needs. Yaakov, however deciphered Eisav’s offer as trying to infiltrate the life of Yaakov’s family. Yaakov’s final and emphatic answer to Eisav was, “What for? Just let me remain on friendly terms with you.” Yaakov’s reaction isn’t simply a ‘no thank you’ to his brother’s gestures. Rather, he goes on the offensive by telling Eisav, “You go on your way by yourself and I will do my ‘melacha,’ my duty, as is laid out before me as the leader of the Jewish people. I have a unique and special mission in this world to spread the name of Hashem, and to educate my children in the ways of Hashem. It is for these reasons that we do not and can not share the same road!”

Rarely in life does someone have a perfect record. For almost thirty years I have been teaching, guiding, and mentoring individuals and families. In some cases, the advice and guidance that I’ve shared with them has been considered and followed. By and large the decisions were the correct ones; people have experienced growth and have seen nachas from their families. Unfortunately, I have also witnessed far too many people hear what I have to say but choose not to listen. Rather, they follow their own instincts and choose an alternative path which, before long proves to be the wrong road to travel. By the time that reality sets in, they tend to rationalize that it is still the right choice; life seems to be good, continuing on their way as God helps them distance themselves spiritually from Him. On the shallow level, life in this world would have been a lot easier for Yaakov and his family had he agreed to remain with Eisav.. He understood, however, that the benefits of being on his own and staying away from Eisav would prove far better for him and his family, not only in the next world but even in this world!

It is extremely painful for me to know what potential there was for an individual or a family who chose to sell out for an easier or more convenient lifestyle. Not realizing the upside of a more meticulous life, people choose the ‘easier’ and less resistant path to their Judaism. I hope and pray that it is never too late to find the accurate road back home.

Ah Gut Shabbos

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky

Over my lifetime I have developed some ‘shtick’, that at the time is speaking to me I am looking down or away and they pause waiting for my attention. I then say to them ‘go ahead talk, speak, what is it? I proceed to tell them to speak because I listen with my ears and not my eyes!

338903. week I began teaching the Hebrew reading crash course for the twenty-second time. While children can learn and master several languages, most adults are language-limited, finding it quite difficult to learn a new language. Some people tend to be auditory learners while others are visual learners. Despite my emphasizing the importance of seeing/visualizing a word and then reading it from a given text, one lady attending my Hebrew course was actually trying to process how to read the word by reading my lips. I reiterated to her the importance of looking at the words she was reading while also listening, using her ears and reading with her eyes. Many years ago a Rebbi (teacher) of mine reminded us of the statement of the Rabbis, “Osiyos machkimos” - the letters of the Torah make one wise. Even though we are only learning to read Hebrew and are not reading from the Torah itself, the lesson also holds true for learning to read. We can learn from many different sources, but it is almost impossible to learn from all of them simultaneously. Learning by listening, using the sense of touch working to learn through use of our eyes – seeing, in other words, learning through use of our senses, kinesthetically, typically assures the success rate of learning to go up, but each of these learning activities needs to be done separately. When there are competing drives, however, when the learner does not give full attention to his or her learning strengths, trying to apply all modalities simultaneously, full attention is lost and the person never receives the needed mind power to excel..

A person may have two ears but can truly focus on listening to only one thing at a time. An example of the need to exclusively listen to one thing is found in Halacha. In the laws of Tefilla and repetition of the Amida it states in Orach Chaim 124:4 that a person should be silent and concentrate on the blessings being recited in the Amida. The Chofetz Chaim in his commentary the Mishna Brura Si’K 17 states that a person should refrain from learning during the repetition so that he will be able to answer the Chazzan properly. Even if you can manage to do both, learn and answer at the same time, I believe there will not be one hundred percent concentration in both areas.

Speaking for myself, when I try to do two things at once (I‘m not talking about walking and chewing gum at the same time), neither of the tasks gets the proper attention and most often I do not accomplish either of them! Others, of course, will argue that they can do both tasks well simultaneously. Even if there is an individual who can answer ‘Amen’ while learning, as I cited previously, he should nevertheless not learn during the repetition for fear that others will imitate the person who just might be able to learn and respond but will perhaps cause someone not capable of such a feat to end up not being able to learn or respond appropriately – neither task will be adequate Multi-tasking, despite the fact that so many in our fast-paced, high speed world believe is an essential skill, leaves all tasks short of reaching their full potential.

The balancing of two things is always challenging. On the surface we sometimes see two different things on the outside, but on the inside or beneath the surface lies one solid piece. In this week’s Parshas Toldos we read of the birth of Yaakov and Eisav and right away from the very beginning there is an inner struggle between them. On the surface we surmise they are two different types of people. This is dramatically underscored by the description Rashi gives of the turbulence inside the womb of their mother, Rivka. When Rivka passed by a house of Torah study, Yaakov grew excited; when Rivka passed a house of idol worship, Eisav grew excited. Fast forward thirteen years and Yaakov is sitting, dwelling in his tent of Torah while Eisav is out in the field killing and pillaging.

If we carefully examine these two brothers, it is difficult to imagine such disparity. Yaakov and Eisav, both of whom come from Yitzchok and Rivka, were not only brothers; they were twins bearing the closest DNA possible. On the surface, or on the outside, Yaakov and Eisav appear as two distinct siblings, yet we know that deeper down they share the same road map. As the story progresses after Eisav sells his birthright to Yaakov, Yitzchok, who is getting older, wants to bless his firstborn. We read of the switch arranged by Rivka, and Yaakov’s worst fear comes about when his father calls out ‘Hakol Kol Yaakov, V’Hayadayim Yedei Eisav’. In Bereishis 27:22 the Torah states: Jacob came closer to his father Isaac, and [Isaac] touched him. He said, The kol - the voice - is of Jacob, but the hands are the hands of Esau. Yaakov was nervous that his deception (commanded by his mother) was foiled. He thought and felt that the wrath of his father would turn any possible blessing into an eternal curse. But Yitzchok continued with the blessing as planned, and Yaakov walked out triumphantly at least for the moment. The famous question is, “Was Yitzchok really fooled by the disguise?”

The midrash explains the opposite forces of good and evil within Yaakov and Eisav is really one and the same. The voice of Yaakov represents the Yetzer Tov while the hands of Eisav represent the Yetzer Hora. The two are diametrically opposed; sometimes we feel we can mange the two conditions at the same time but the reality is that we can’t. The Midrash states that at the time the voice of Yaakov (the Jewish people) is found and heard in the Shuls and study halls, the Batei Keneisiyos and the Batei Midrashos then their [the Jewish people’s] hands will not be the hands of Eisav. If not, however, then their hands will be like the hands of Eisav , immersed in evil and covered in disgust. Reb Zalman Sorotzkin z”l elaborates that if a child is brought up within the confines of Torah and Tefillah, studying and prayer, then he will stay out of trouble, avoiding the likes of Eisav. Then the hands of Eisav will be exclusive to Eisav. If, Heaven forbid, we forsake the learning of Torah and davening and the voice of Yaakov is not heard in the Beis Midrash, then the hands of Eisav will be to them [the Jewish people}. If that were to be the case, Hashem would not recognize us and would therefore not give us a Bracha as the Am Segula the chosen nation. That is hinted to in the verse that Yitzchok did not recognize Yaakov because his hands were like those of Eisav.

As we continuously struggle in the battle between good and bad, our Yetzer Tov and Yetzer Hora fight it out during our entire lifetime. The struggle of Yaakov and Eisav is the inner battle within each and everyone of us. May we blessed by Hashem to give us the strength so that our voices drown out the ability for the hands of Eisav to be seen, and let Hashem recognize us and bless us with the blessings that our forefathers merited on our behalf. Amen!

Every Saturday night following the conclusion of Shabbos, we call out Ah Gut Vach or Shavua Tov, meaning ‘have a good week’. Sometimes a person senses a certain omen that indicates whether or not the week will be good or bad with the tone being set by how the week begins. We should all keep in mind that the words we utter can be very powerful - whether for good or for bad. It is important, therefore, to remember that wishing someone ’a good week’ really means something. Rabbis in general have a superficial relationship with their congregants unless the congregant chooses to share personal and sometimes private or confidential information. Some Rabbis have close contact with some of their constituents and are more directly involved in their daily lives, thereby knowing more of the challenges the family faces. When that is the case, the Rabbi checks in on the individual or family to see how things are going, giving encouragement, advice and even a Bracha/Blessing.

A few weeks ago I wished someone a shavua tov and a ‘Mazaldikah Vach’. As we have grown closer over the years, this individual confided some major things going on in his life to me which may seriously affect him, his family, our community, and ultimately Klal Yisroel. That coming week would possibly signal the arrival of the big challenge. As I wished him the magical words, I squeezed his hand with more intensity and greater ‘kavana’ than the usual and casual blessing we say. I paused and thought about the words I was wishing him and then looked him in the eye and reviewed the intent of what just transpired. Hopefully, my typical after-Shabbos greeting, along with those of everyone else who wished him the same greeting will be fulfilled. This is the way we should begin our week following the power and influence of Shabbos.

Last Motzai Shabbos, as I walked out of Shul, I received an omen that led me to believe that a good week lay ahead of me. A short time earlier I had spoken about the holiness and beauty that a Beis HaKnesses - a Shul - requires. A shul is a Mikdash M’Ot, a small sanctuary that tries to stand in for the Beis HaMikdash in its absence. During Shalosh Seudos I spoke about how great it is that every inch of our Shul is used over Shabbos. In deed, this use is reflected by the collateral damage of trash that is left behind. Following a beautiful Shmuess by a visiting Rosh Yeshiva who spoke of the battle of raising children in this generation, I gave a suggestion regarding how to start. The beginning strategy we need in order to effectively fight the battle of educating our children is to become better role models for our children. Our children observe everything we do, and we must therefore do the right things in front of them. I encouraged everybody, including the adults, to pick up three or four pieces of trash with their children as they leave the Shul, the social hall, the Shul lobby, and the outside area. I had a large garbage can placed in the center walkway to make it easier to dispose of and collect garbage and trash. I was one of the last people to leave Shul. As I emerged from Shul I was shocked to see the grounds from the entire patio throughout the park spotless, as if no one had been here on Shabbos! I was so pleased to see the grounds so beautifully cleaned up and to know that my words had been met with acceptance. How would it be possible for HaKadosh Boruch Hu not grant us a great week after we were in Shul all Shabbos with Hashem and then make sure we left our Shul in the same beautiful appearance in which He had welcomed us.

Keeping the Shul clean and the outlying grounds free of debris falls under the rubric of Kavod HaTorah. A place where the main function is to daven and learn Torah requires overt, open respect. A Talmid Chacham, a Torah sage or scholar, is supposed to make sure his appearance is impeccable because he represents the Torah. Therefore, the place of learning needs to have a clean, neat appearance as well. We find the need for this kind of positive outlook in the Torah.

In this week’s parshas Vayera the Torah relates the story of three angels visiting Avraham, each with a different mission. 1) to heal Avraham from his Milah; 2) to bring the news that Avraham and Sarah will have a baby ;3) to destroy Sedom and Gemora. As they were ready to leave to destroy the cities the Torah states in Bereishis 18:16: “VaYakumu Misham HaAnashim VaYashkifu Al Pnei S’dom, V’Avraham Holeich Eemam L’Shalcham”. “The strangers (angels) got up from their places and gazed at Sodom, Avraham went with them to send them on their way”. *Rav Meir Meir Dan Plotsky, in his sefer Kli Chemda, puts a different spin on the word ‘Misham’. The word ‘Misham’ is actually superfluous, therefore, instead of the simple understanding ‘from their place’, meaning their seats, it means from there, this place, meaning Avraham’s home. The point made is that the angels saw the righteousness and great character traits of Avraham, particularly in the area of Hachnasos Orchim, the welcoming of guests. The angels then compared this to the wickedness of the people of Sedom, and ordered Sedom’s destruction. The level was raised against Sedom was even greater when compared to Avraham’s righteousness and warm welcoming of the strangers to his tent. This is why the verse specifically says they got up from there, a place of holiness, sanctity, righteousness, and good deeds, understanding a greater reason, a greater need to destroy Sedom. The angels attained a deeper ‘Hashkafa’ (vision of philosophical understanding) as the verse stated, “They gazed upon S’dom.”

19. we (Hashem and Am Yisroel) leave Shul every Motzai Shabbos, each Saturday night, we should have a new, refreshed perspective on life. Hopefully, we take the holiness and sanctity of the Shul (like Avraham’s home) with us and look toward the week that may resemble a S’Dom and help guide and navigate through it with a clearer vision between right and wrong and the holy and the mundane. Hashem leaves with a renewed sense of satisfaction that His people have grown, satiating themselves with spirituality which will give them blessings for the new week. God witnessed a cleaned campus giving Him honor which therefore showered potential blessings upon us. May we continue to do this week in and week out both outside and inside the holy walls of Beth Jacob.

*Meir Dan Plotsky (or Plotski) (1866 - March 27, 1928) was the President of Kollel Polen, a Talmudic scholar who authored the Kli Chemdah, a commentary on the Torah. He also authored the Chemdas Yisrael on Sefer ha-Mitzvot. Plotsky was the son of Rabbi Chaim Yitzchak Ber Plotzker of Kutno, who was first a follower of Rav Chanoch Henich of Alexander, but who then became a follower of the Sfas Emes of Ger. At the age of nine, Plotsky was sent to learn in the yeshiva of Rabbi Chaim Eliezer Wax, the Nefesh Chayah, in Kalisz, president of Kupat Rabbi Meir Baal HaNes Kollel Polen. Shortly before his bar mitzvah, he became a disciple of Rabbi Avrohom Bornsztain (the Avnei Nezer), first Sochatchover Rebbe, whom he considered his lifelong rebbe muvhak (primary Torah teacher).

Plotsky married at the age of 15 and spent the next 10 years in Dvohrt with his in-laws. In 1891, he became Rav in Dvohrt. Later he helped expose the forged Yerushalmi on Kodshim, claimed to be discovered by Shlomzo Yehuda Friedlander, who also claimed he was a Sefardi named Shlomo Yehuda Algazi. At the age of 36 he published his work on the Sefer Hamitzvos of Maimonides, called Chemdas Yisrael. In 1918, he became Rav of Ostrov-Mozbaisk in eastern Poland. He was voted chairman of Agudas Harabbanim of Poland, a prelude to Agudat Israel. At the age of 60, he left the rabbinate to head a large yeshiva in Warsaw, known simply as the Mesivta