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Parshas Chayei Sorah - I Had a Thought, But It Wasn't Thought Through                     24 Cheshvan 5783

11/18/2022 09:19:23 AM


Ever find yourself in a position when you did not want to do something, and you ended up not doing it? Have you ever found yourself in a position when you did not want to do something, but you did it anyway? Perhaps you had a situation that you wanted to do something, but you ended up not doing it? Or maybe you had a situation which bothered you and you wanted to do something about it, and you ended up doing it? These four scenarios are common real-life experiences which we may or may not take the time to reason through. I am sure there are times we struggle with making the decision to act upon or to ignore something and other times when we just allow our emotions to set the pace and course in our day-to-day lives. Life is full of decision making, ranging from  insignificant to major decisions that will alter the path of our lives forever. Many decisions in life may only affect us for the moment while others can affect ourselves and others, causing a ripple effect for years and even generations to come. Truth be told, every decision has a potential effect on more people than we can imagine. Decisions and actions play a role in our lives and on the lives of our families and others around us. Someone who works in an office and shares space with other employees  influences others - whether they choose to do so or not. A simple illustration: a co-worker who has an upbeat demeanor, choosing to view situations from a positive angle, will bring a positive vibe to the workplace, while a co-worker who tends to view situations and others from a negative perspective creates negative vibes in return.

What motivates a person to decide what to do? Certainly a few reasons pop up:  making money, attaining fame, reaching out to others. Some decisions are driven by lust and temptation, and sometimes we act without even thinking about the consequences or repercussions.  Acting without thinking is a natural reflex, working on raw instinct, a gut reaction essential  in certain high-pressure, split-second life-threatening situations. On the other hand, if a person has time to contemplate doing or not doing something and just responds instinctively, he is debasing himself, ignoring his ability to reason, choosing instead to act on the level of  an animal. A human being is blessed with intellect, with the ability to make informed decisions and think about the consequences of his actions. In fact, it is the Yetzer Hora, the evil inclination, that does not give us opportunity to think about whether we should do X or Y, encouraging us to  act on impulse.  So how do we train ourselves to process and respond in the correct manner? The answer is to make the effort to learn mussar, to educate ourselves about how to act appropriately, to be disciplined in our behavior, elevating our ethical standards and spiritual paths.  Mussar teaches us how to think and contemplate before we act. Once we reach the  level of appreciating the beauty of humility, clarity of thought, and empathy,  we will have the innate discipline to “just act” in a way that is clearly on the highest level a person can be. This is what Eliezer saw in Rivka as he was charged by Avraham to find a wife for Yitzchok. The following illustrates the level that Rivka was on which earned her the place in Jewish history to be one of the mothers of Klal Yisrael.

In this week’s Parshas Chayei Sorah the Torah states in Bereishis 24:22 "ויהי כאשר כלו הגמלים לשתות ויקח האיש נזם זהב בקע משקלו ושני צמידים על ידיה עשרה זהב משקלם"  “When the camels finished drinking, he took a gold ring weighing half a shekel, and two gold bracelets, weighing ten gold shekels, for her arms.” It interesting to note that it was only “when the camels finished drinking” - only then did Eliezer take a gold ring weighing half a shekel. *Ovadia ben Yakov, in his commentary to the Sforno, explains: Eliezer wanted to see if Rivka was a worthy mate for Yitzchok. He wanted to see if she had the qualities that was famous in the house of Avraham, namely the midah of chessed, the character trait of kindness. That being the case, why did Eliezer wait until the camels finished drinking, apparently at the very moment when Rivka said to Eliezer, “Drink and also your camels should drink” would have been a good enough sign to recognize her righteousness and give her the jewelry right then and there. Why wait until the camels literally finished drinking? The Sforno explains that Eliezer waited until Rivka gave water to all the servants and the camels to see if after she completed giving the water, she might ask for something in return. Perhaps she might ask for a favor or  wait for a tip for services rendered. Perhaps, give her a gift that was not so expensive, giving instead a little something of recognition for her being there at the right time and the right place for Eliezer and his entourage. But that was not to be the case, Rivka acted in more than a dignified manner; immediately upon finishing her chores, she quickly turned to go home as if she had done nothing that would deserve any type of reward, even a basic acknowledgement. Her act of chessed/kindness was performed naturally, in humility and empathy as if she had done nothing special and simply went about her business.    


Ah Gutten Shabbos


Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky

*Obadja Sforno (Hebrew: עובדיה ספורנו) was an Italian rabbi, Biblical commentator, philosopher, and physician. A member of the Sforno family, he was born in Cesena about 1475 and died in Bologna in 1550.

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