Rabbi's Blog

This week’s Dvar Torah is sponsored by Richard  & Julie Goodwin and family in memory of Julie's father Moshe Yoseph ben Efraim Yitzchak ha Levi on his Yahrzeit 12 Tammuz

The phrase "What's good for you is good for me" is a common expression often used to indicate that one person's well-being is closely tied to another's. The exact origins of the phrase are unclear, but it is likely that it has been used in various forms across cultures and throughout history. The sentiment behind this phrase can be traced back to the concept of empathy and the idea that we are all connected in some way. It may also reflect the belief that we all share a common interest in promoting and contributing to the greater good: that which benefits one person ultimately benefits us all. The phrase has been used in literature, film, and other forms of media to underscore a variety of themes and ideas related to cooperation, mutual benefit, and interdependence. It has also been used as a simple expression of goodwill, indicating a desire to help and support others.

I have slightly changed this phrase, saying, “If it’s good for you, it’s better for me!” Our lives are driven by multiple relationships, some more than others. Relationships include but are not limited to parents and children, husbands and wives, friends, employees, employers, service people and individuals who come into and out of our lives on a regular basis. As life has its ups and downs, each of us experience difficult, challenging times as well as times filled with joy and simchas. All relationships experience stress and emotional impact.  If a person is having a bad day, it can cause negative stress at work and at home.  Correspondingly, when a person has a great day, that resulting upbeat feeling will have a positive effect on everyone interacting with that person. Therefore when someone with whom I am interacting is experiencing something good,  his happiness actually makes my life better. If everyone around me is successful, accomplishing, gaining knowledge and skill. my life is also easier.  The real challenge in life is when things do not go well, when the blessings aren’t as apparent, and when the accompanying curses seem to creep up. It is at those times when we need to focus and work on our personal and business relationships with sincere sensitivity and care. The idea of something being good for one person and will also be good for another is noted in a few places in the Torah, but the language must be scrutinized in the different places, as you will see by reading on.

In this week’s Parshas Balak the Torah states in Bamidbar 24:8,9 " קל מוציאו ממצרים כתועפת ראם לו, יאכל גוים צריו ועצמתיהם יגרם וחציו ימחץ. כרע שכב כארי וכלביא מי יקימנו מברכיך ברוך וארריך ארור"  “Since God brought them out of Egypt, they are like His highest expression of strength. [God] shall devour His enemy nations, grinding their bones and piercing them with His arrows. [Israel] crouches, lies like a lion, like an awesome lion; who will dare arouse him? Those who bless you are blessed, and those who curse you are cursed.”  This is not the first time the Torah uses these phrases, but the order isn’t necessarily the same. In Bereishis 27:29 (you’ll have to look it up for yourself) in a story about Yizchok Avinu, the order is reversed- first the curse and then the blessing. Rashi explains that when it comes to Tzadikim- righteous individuals - Hashem begins with the curse or the bad and then concludes with the blessing and the good. To the Tzadik, God dishes out the hardships, challenges and difficulties of life but will end with stating the difficulties, yisurim - pain and affliction - of the person’s life with peace, tranquility, goodness and bracha. The curses precede the blessings to get them out of the way. Therefore Yitzchok, a Tzadik, first mentions the curses and then the blessings. This clearly contrasts  the tzadik to the rasha, the wicked, who begins with blessings of  peace and tranquility but ending in tragedy, hardships, pain and suffering - a true curse.

Bilaam, the non-Jewish prophet, is a far cry from our forefather Yitzchok. In the beginning of the Parsha he is hired by Balak and tries to curse the Jewish People but clearly says it is difficult because they [the Jews] are blessed. Even though at the outset Bilaam did use the words to curse, it was not really a part of who he was. He would rather have used the blessing first and then end with a curse. It was at the time to perform that Bilaam actually blessed first and cursed last. This is because he was accustomed to this pattern and influenced by the people around him. But…there is another place that conflicts with this idea as presented by a different forefather, Avraham.

The Torah in Bereishis 12:3 has God speaking to Avraham and using the expression of blessing before the language of cursing. In that same vain, whoever blesses you will be blessed and whoever curses you will be cursed. Rav Eliyahu ben Avraham Mizrachi, known as the R’Eim in his commentary on Rashi, explains the difference here as well. We only follow the rule of blessing and cursing when it is limited to those two times. In the case of Avraham, Hashem then goes back and says ונברכו בך  - and will be blessed in you. The rule is that if there is a blessing first, followed by a curse, but then is followed by another blessing, it is the blessing that will be everlasting for the righteous. When a bracha is at the beginning and the end it will be granted and fulfilled.

The final place is Parshas Ki Savo when the Jewish people are on the mountains of Eival and Gerizim where it first says אלה יעמדו לברך את העם  and then afterwards אלה יעמדו על הקללה placing the blessing first and curse second, thereby leaving the Jewish people exposed to calamity. Why? The answer is that this it is not a direct curse; rather, it is a warning that IF the Jewish people don’t follow the words of the Torah and do not fulfill the mitzvos, then these bad things may come to reality. 

Historically, we’ve witnessed that those countries and civilizations which stood by the Jewish people were blessed and those who went against us and cursed us are no longer. Let the blessings to Avraham and Yitzchok be fulfilled and the attempt of the modern-day Bilaam be cursed. For we Jews must always remember to be caring and kind to each other, to give a blessing to someone else, and then these actions will bring a blessing back to you and, please God, to us all!  Amen!

Ah Gutten Shabbos

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky