Rabbi's Blog

Here we are once again, another Tisha B’Av has come and gone with no inkling or signs that the exile is nearly over. The mourning period extends twenty-two plus days with various customs ranging from no haircuts and shaving to no music or weddings. Most of us are able to handle all of these restrictions throughout the first week and a half or so of the three weeks, but by the time erev Tisha B’Av rolls along, I find myself looking ahead to the upcoming release from this period of mourning. While I certainly take the laws of mourning very seriously - to the point of wearing the same shirt throughout the taking entire Shavua Shechal Bo (from Shabbos until Tuesday night) and limit myself to a few four-minute lukewarm-to-cool showers during the nine days – I still look forward to the end of the restrictions.  There is no doubt, there is no question that I would much prefer the Moshiach to knock on the door rather than must face the same reality we have faced for almost two-thousand years. But if Moshiach is not here by the end of Tisha B’Av, I will remain I resigned to mourning until further notice. In the meantime, I welcomed a long hot shower and putting on a clean shirt. Although the switch doesn’t happen instantaneously, it does nevertheless transition quickly from sorrow to celebration.

I remember the days in camp how eagerly we counted down the minutes at the edge of the pool on the tenth of Av, ready to dive in and enjoy the water amidst the blasting of music. Coupled with that memory, I ask myself, how are we able to go from one extreme to the other, from deep sorrow to joy, so fast? Is it a bad thing to quickly rid ourselves of the mourning and take in the celebration? Am I a terrible Jew for acting in such a manner?

 The Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 560 and 561 list a myriad of customs and practices that we do or don’t do to remember the Bais Hamikdash and its destruction and remembering Yerushalayim. Perhaps the most famous and well-known of these customs is the breaking of a plate after the reading of the tenaim (conditions/obligations) at the engagement ceremony and breaking of a glass at the conclusion of the Chuppah at a wedding.  Traditionally the chosson/groom would recite the words Im Eshkacheich Yerushalayim…if I forget thee Oh Jerusalem; today, in many instances, these powerful words have grown into a kind of intermezzo or a kind of short musical show. Immediately follow the crescendo of these heart wrenching, profoundly powerful words, the chosson stamps on the glass that represents the destruction of the Beis Hamikdash, (Although there are many chuppahs, particularly in Israel, where the glass is broken earlier, while most weddings in America this continues to be done at the very end, concluding the chuppah). In the aftermath of October 7^th, many recite Tehilim/Psalms at this auspicious moment, urging Hashem to show mercy on the hostages and those who are engaged in defending Israel.  Immediately following the breaking of the glass, and the growing tendency to recite Tehillim, the wedding guests erupt in unison as the band pumps up the crowd, with the singing of Mazal Tov. Here again, at the height of joy towards the end of the chuppah, we find a lull, a symbol of mourning, which, in an instant change to sheer euphoria. How can it be that one moment we are distressed over the destruction of the Temple, and the next minute living, appreciating all the joy of life returns?

The answer is a lesson the Torah wants to teach us not only for the future of our own individual lives and the focus, but for the entirety of the Jewish people. This vital lesson is ”Don’t dwell on the past”. We are all able to recall things and remember the tough times of our history, times of loss, tragedy, and fear.  Yet we can find the ‘light’, grab hold of the focus to live, to move on. As mentioned by Rabbi Klein, who spoke about the Jewish revival of Torah and Mitzvos which arose because of the Holocaust survivors who did not focus on the destruction but rather on how to rebuild and how to rejoice. Surely no one forgets the horrors and tragedies, just as we remember the greatest tragedy to befall the Jewish people having not one but two batei Mikdashim destroyed. The lesson, though, is to understand that as soon as we remember and pay homage, we need to look, once again, with hope and optimism, to the future. This abrupt change is purposely designed this way; it is found in many scenarios. In the modern state of Israel, the fourth of Iyar is the National Day of Mourning, Yom HaZkaron - immediately followed by Yom Haatzmaut - the Day of National Independence.

The Navi Yeshayahu chapter 43 verses 18 and 19 comes to support this idea.  אַֽל־תִּזְכְּר֖וּ רִאשֹׁנ֑וֹת וְקַדְמֹנִיּ֖וֹת אַל־תִּתְבֹּנָֽנוּ׃ :Do not recall what happened of old, or ponder what happened of yore! הִנְנִ֨י עֹשֶׂ֤ה חֲדָשָׁה֙ עַתָּ֣ה תִצְמָ֔ח הֲל֖וֹא תֵּדָע֑וּהָ אַ֣ף אָשִׂ֤ים בַּמִּדְבָּר֙ דֶּ֔רֶךְ בִּישִׁמ֖וֹן נְהָרֽוֹת׃ I am about to do something new; even now it shall come to pass. Suddenly you shall perceive it: I will make a road through the wilderness and rivers in the desert. Nevertheless, how is it possible to turn the switch on and off; why or how can we just forget about the past when God commands us to remember? The Midrash says Hashem will answer you on the day of trouble. It is like a woman who sits in labor, and it is said to her” May He who answered your mother answer you”. The Medrash asks: ”Why should it be written on the day of trouble?”. Day implies light, which is the very opposite of trouble. Wouldn’t it have been more fitting to write ’in the night of trouble’? The Medrash goes on to answer: This is to teach us that any trouble that may come to Bnei Yisrael bears the seed of happiness in it. Even as the pains of a woman in labor are only a prelude to the birth of a child, so too the pains and suffering of Bnei Yisroel are simply precursors of the deliverance to come.

The Jewish people may be certain that their sufferings and tragedies that also carry salvation and deliverance in their wake. Therefore, we can immediately react with a sense of optimism and hope, leading to cause for happiness.  Happiness is already imbedded inside, requiring only the necessary push which will allow it to surface. This beautiful notion is one more reason why this Shabbos is called Nachamu, Nachamu - be comforted, be comforted because salvation is already here. Our job is to bring out the precious, positive spark that will bring forth Moshiach Tzidkeinu B’Meheira AMEN!

Ah Gutten Shabbos

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky

Please note: These are my thoughts and feelings and are not representative of a group or movement.