Rabbi's Blog

Last week I took a long trip to Israel for a very short time. It wasn’t my shortest stay in Israel, two previous trips consisted of two days each. Nevertheless, I was only there for three full days, a total of seventy-seven hours from the time I landed until I took off. As some of you know, the sole purpose of my trip was to visit with my aging parents. Although I found my mother to be in better health than I anticipated, I do not regret going for a minute. Living far away from parents deprives children of the great Mitzva of Kibud Av Va’Aim, the commandment to honor your mother and father. Even though I speak to my parents at least once if not twice daily, it pales in comparison to being there in person.

In Jewish thought and law there is a concept called “Schar Holicha” reward for going or reward for the travel itself. Therefore, on the flight home I calculated how many hours the total trip took from door to door, from touchdown to takeoff and other combinations including flying time to get to Eretz Yisrael. I came up with the following equation. As I mentioned earlier, the time from touchdown to take-off was seventy-seven hours plus the approximate fifteen hours of flying time, totaling ninety-two hours. This was all done for the sole purpose of honoring my parents. Lo and behold the gematria (numerical value of the Hebrew letters) of Kibud Av Va’Aim is also ninety-two!

Some people may argue that the number of hours returning should also be included as Schar Chazara, which is reward for returning. The logic behind including this time is that just as going, because if you couldn’t return you would not go in the first place, so the return calculation is also necessary. This is comparable to emergency personnel breaking Shabbos to save a life. They have to go to the hospital and then are permitted to return to their home base even though there is no longer an emergency. The reasoning behind it if we don’t allow the emergency personnel to return, they might not be willing to go in the first place. They would probably not want to have to remain in the hospital, spending Shabbos and Yom Tov away from their families, yet lives would be put a stake if they didn’t go to the hospital. In my case I don’t think Schar rewards for returning, so the hours of flying back are not included. There is no down side to staying longer with parents, especially if they happen to live in Israel.

We sometimes wonder what the reward will be for some or all the Mitzvos we do. The Torah clearly tells us the reward for honoring parents is long life. This is somewhat difficult to calculate. How can one figure out the formula of how much of the mitzva of kibbud Av Va’Aim parents corresponds to how long one lives.. Nevertheless, Rabbeinu Bachya offers a slightly different approach in particular to the life of Yakov and his son Yosef.

The very first words of this week’s parsha Vayechi, Bereishis 47:28 states “Vayechi Yakov B’Eretz Mitzrayim Shva Esrei Shana, Vayehi Yemei Yakov Shnei Chayav Sheva Shanim V’Arbaim U’M’as Shana”. “Jacob made Egypt his home for seventeen years. He lived to be one hundred forty-seven years old”. Many are familiar with the Gematria of the word Vayechi equaling thirty –four, corresponding to the number of years Yakov and Yosef spent together. The first seventeen years of Yosef’s life prior to being sold is documented at the beginning of Parshas Vayeishev Bereishis 37:1 and the last seventeen years Yakov spends with Yosef in Egypt. But another reason the Torah uses the word Vayechi -and Yakov lived - is because Yosef gave him the physical sustenance to live. The seventeen years of Yosef supporting his father was Midda Knegged Midda, measure for measure, in that Yakov sustained Yosef the first seventeen years of his life. In an almost reversal of fortune whereby the reward of Yakov sustaining and raising his son Yosef merited him the likelihood to live another seventeen years, despite a famine in the land where surely many people perished. When a person gives something to someone, that person will merit to get it back. A parent’s love and dedication to their child is unconditional but nevertheless contains a special kick-back of sorts that whatever they give they will merit to get back when they need it. The irony of life and the life cycle we experience regarding how a parent takes care of a child, raising him and nurturing him to become independent and self-sufficient, flips around in the parents’ old age to be taken care of by the very same children they cared for.

Reb Yechiel Michel Wisser* in his classic work the Malbi”m gives an explanation on the words of “And Yakov lived in Egypt” putting the full cycle of life in great perspective. The end of a person’s life and the remaining days on earth are a measure of his entire life. Someone who lived a difficult life in pain, anguish and sorrow but had it good at the end of his life, forgets all the hardship and toiling and considers his entire life to have been lived in good times. The Sfas Emes comments the Gematria of the word ‘Tov’ good equals seventeen which corresponds to the last seventeen years of Yakov’s life. Despite Yakov lamenting over his difficult life, the end was good and overshadowed the dark challenges and difficulties of his life.

The lesson is that a person leaves this world in the state of being at the end of his life. If a person lives a life of sin but at the very end repents, he shares in Gan Eden - in the world to come. The converse is also true: if a person is a Tzadik his entire life but at the end does not live that same way, then it is considered a full life of wickedness. Unfortunately, in my career I’ve witnessed both scenarios where a person became observant and religious towards the end of his life. That person’s entire life is not only considered completely righteous but they themselves feel a fulfilled life. On the other hand, some people lived a religious and observant life, but in the end stopped and gave up the good practices. Such people lose out on the entire lifetime of goodness, not only in the spiritual sense but their physical life is also felt to be full of hardship and difficulty.

As one famous catcher of the greatest sports team said, “It ain’t over till it’s over.” The way the game ends is a reflection of the rest of the game. Let’s make our lives richer and more meaningful so that the end of the game reflects upon the entire game just as Yakov’s life at the end was ‘good’ and changed the perspective of his entire life.

Ah Gut Shabbos

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky

*Meir Leibush ben Yehiel Michel Wisser (March 7, 1809 – September 18, 1879), better known as The Malbim, was a rabbi, master of Hebrew grammar, and Bible commentator. The name "Malbim" was derived from the Hebrew initials of his name. He used this acronym as his surname in all his published works and became known by it in common usage