Rabbi's Blog

Information is either asked for or provided from another. At times, this ‘information’ is called advice. Some people are very careful about giving advice for fear it might come back to them as the blame for something going wrong causing a bad decision to be made. I recall one of my professors in college “advising” us never to give advice, at least in a therapy setting. Yet there are others who thrive on giving advice, especially unsolicited advice. Perhaps they feel it is the way to pay their debt to society by imparting their wisdom to whomever and whenever. If I were to give advice on this subject, I would have to say that not only should a person give good advice when asked, but also to proffer advice when it will, without question, benefit the receiver of this information.

An integral piece of many relationships is sharing information between each other. This is particularly true in a teaching and educational setting. Perhaps the most significant situation of teaching is raising a child. The methods of education vary and change according to the maturity and intelligence of the student. A student in this case may also be a child or anyone to whom we are imparting information. Education is not just about feeding facts and information; meaningful learning allows time for the student to develop critical thinking skills, enabling him to figure out the information by himself. Many high-level educators only lecture and do not allow or make room for self-analyzation. Anyone who has studied Jewish law recognizes different levels of fulfilling a Mitzva, at times applying the basic rule and at other times adding an additional suggestion. I would like to compare those added suggestions as advice, not only as optional but as strongly recommended. There are many examples of this type of suggestions which, in the end, may save a person from error.

Many may argue and challenge the notion about giving advice even when such advice yields benefit beyond doubt. Nevertheless, I recently reviewed a law that affects us all three times a day for the next month or so as we recite the Amida. On Shmini Ateres - the day after Sukkos - we began reciting ‘Mashiv HaRuach U’morid HaGeshem”. In Jewish law it takes a number repetitious activities to accustom oneself to the new, additional language. Therefore, Rav Yosef Karo in Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 114:9 discusses a situation that for the first thirty days if a person is in doubt as to whether or not he said the new change, the Amida must be repeated. But, according to Rav Yosef Karo, if on Shmini Atzeres, a person chooses torepeat that section, including the new change, ninety times in a row then even during the first thirty days if ever in doubt he is able to rely on the fact that it was said correctly. The Chofetz Chaim in the Mishna Brura #41 quotes the Chasam Sofer who stated that it is best to recite this phrase one hundred and one times, but if it was said only ninety times it is still effective, otherwise we would be going against the ruling of the Shulchan Aruch. I always viewed this law as an optional suggestion, but I now realize that perhaps the Shulchan Aruch is not merely ‘suggesting’ but rather urging us to practice this advice so as to avoid repeating the shmoneh esrei when in doubt.

I think we could see a similar idea of some advice being given but taken as an obligation! In this week’s parsha Noach we read about the destruction of the world and how Noach and family were the lone survivors. In Bereishis 6:14 the Torah states: “Asei L’cha Teivas Atzei Gofer, Kinim Ta’aseh Es HaTeiva, V’Chafarta Osa MiBayis UMichutz BaKofer”. “Make yourself an Ark of cypress wood, divide the ark into compartments and caulk the inside and outside with pitch”.

In my humble opinion the wording or directing of Hashem to Noach is merely a recommendation or a suggestion. There is no direct command that Noach should build an ark. Hashem is offering Noach some good advice: if you want to live, you should build something that can weather the storm. Hashem even offers the dimensions of the structure necessary for survival. We all know from childhood learning that this story ends well for Noach. But why? If we look ahead to the end of the chapter, Bereishis 6:22 states “Vaya’as Noach, K’chol Asher Tziva Oso Elokim, Kein Asa”. “And Noach did everything that God commanded him, he did”.

Noach took that advice, something that Hashem recommended but by no means forced Noach to do. Noach recognized the prompting of Hashem towards himself and would use it not only to save his own family but to create a scene whereby people would ask why he was building this huge vessel. Noah would tell these people about the impending doom, hoping that people would take Noach seriously and change their ways and be spared. Hopefully, these the people of the world would have taken Noach seriously and changed their ways so as to be spared. Noach took the counsel of Hashem and considered it as a commandment, not just as a ‘good thing’. The Panim Yafos expounds on this idea that Hashem said to Noach ‘Make for yourself’. When the Torah uses the word ‘L’cha’ - for you - it means for your benefit. Hashem says to Noach, if you build the Teivah it will be for your benefit, but the decision was to be totally up to Noah to decide. Later we read Noach built it and the Torah reiterates the words ‘Kein Asah,’ as if not only for his benefit but more so because he performed it as a command.

There are times when we want people to take our proposal seriously and to follow it rather than, just discarding it politely. Whether it be our employees or workers, we want them to follow the suggestion and not merely take it as a simplistic suggestion such as, “this is the way I would do it if I were you.” The point is to understand that this is the way it should be done. Raising children is a constant educational process. Sometimes we need to be very direct, and, particularly with regard to younger children, order them to do something. At other times we offer a hint, a trace, or sign to enable them to focus and make the right choice without explicit instructions from us It is not an easy task, but with carefully-worded statements we can lead the child to realize this is something good for him; he and I will do it as if my parents were commanding me to do it.

Rabbis at times give answers that are not concrete as to a yes or no. Rather, on occasion the Rabbi will sound a bit vague in answering a question. The answer is often embedded in intentional vagueness which helps the questioner to grasp and accept the direction the Rabbi was leading him to understand. The trained teacher/pupil, parent/child, Rabbi/congregant will recognize the signs of when to consider the advice as a mere suggestion and take it or leave it, or truly give the advice to grab and fulfill a command as Noach did.

Ah Gut Shabbos

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky