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Parshas B'Haaloscha - With All Due Respect, Really?            18 Sivan 5778

06/01/18 11:09:25

Jun1

Within the parameters of the Torah, whether it be Halacha/Jewish law or proper middos, character is viewed from two perspectives: the doer and the viewer. The classic example is Maris Ayin (how things appear to the eye) and being Dan Lekaf Zechus (judging another favorably). A man must take steps when doing something so that others should not think that he is committing an Aveira/sin. At the same time, someone witnessing tan apparent violation by a Jew must give the benefit of the doubt and conjure up reasons why the person had to do what looked like something which was forbidden. Another example I would like to share is a different situation which, in my humble opinion, underscores many of the issues we confront in the Jewish world today: the lack of Kavod/honor HaTorah.

Chazal in Pirkei Avos teach us that a man should run away from honor, yet there still exists the obligation for everyone else to shower that honor upon the person fleeing from it. There are three major figures in Jewish life where there is a requisite to give honor: a father, the King, and a Torah scholar. The Gemara in Kiddushin 32a states: “Rav Chisda is quoted as saying that whereas a father has the right to forego his honor, a Rav does not. Rav Yosef says that a Rav also has the right to forego his honor. Rav Yosef learned this from the Pasuk in Beshalach "va'Hashem Holech Lifneihem Yomam ... ". Rava initially objected to Rav Yosef's proof because, whereas the world belongs to Hashem, and He therefore has the right to forego His honor, the Torah that a Rav learns is not his but Hashem's. Therefore, he does not have the right to forego something that is not his in the first place. Later, the Beraisa, which clearly permits a Nasi to be Mochel (forego) his honor, forces us to amend Rav Ashi's initial statement, which now reads that even those who permit a Nasi to forego his honor, still forbid a king to do so. We learn this from the Pasuk "Som Tasim Alecha Melech", which teaches us that each person must designate the king as his ruler and fear him accordingly.

Even though we clearly see that the halacha permits a Talmid Chochom (Torah Scholar) to forego his honor, it nevertheless reduces or abolishes the obligation to honor. The Rabbi has a right to forego his honor, but his students do not! A great challenge to a teacher, Rebbi or even a pulpit Rabbi is maintaining the balance between being buddies with the guys and at the same time maintain the distance required to honor and respect both the person and the position. The greatest example of someone deserving of honor was Moshe Rabbeinu, yet even he was disrespected, as we read in this week.

In this week’s Parshas B’Haaloscha, the Torah states in Bamidbar 12:11 “VaYomer Aharon El Moshe Bi Adoni, Ahl Nah Sasheis Aleinu Chatas, Asher No’Ahlnu Va’Asher Chatanu”- “ Aharon said to Moshe, ‘Please, my lord, do not hold a grudge against us for acting foolishly and sinning.” Rabbeinu Chaim Ben Ittar, in his commentary Ohr Hachaim, explains this verse as follows. Behold we derive from Aharon’s words that Moshe was upset with him and his words, therefore deeming it necessary for Moshe to forgive. Apparently, the reason Aharon was so free with his speech is because he felt Moshe was a Talmid Chacham whose honor would be forgiven if Moshe chose to forego that honor, as is stated earlier in the Gemara Kiddushin 32b. In truth, Moshe Rabbeinu was not stringent with regard to his honor at all, which is why t the Torah records that Moshe was the humblest of all men, connecting the words of Aharon that Moshe should not hold a grudge against him because he sinned. If that’s the case, that Moshe as a great, humble man who did not hold anything against Aharon, then why was he and his sister Miriam punished? Didn’t Moshe relieve them of punishment?

Because the Torah/Hashem defends Moshe by declaring him humble, the intention is to reduce the severity of Aharon’s words. The first reason they were punished is because they should have viewed Moshe as the king, as mentioned in the Talmud Zevachim 102a and not just as a Torah scholar. The obvious difference is, unlike a Talmid Chochom, the king cannot forego his honor. In fact, this is why Hashem’s scolding of Aharon and Miriam at the time when He tells them “Madua Lo Yireisem L’Dabeir B’Avdi” - “Why are you not fearful to speak against My servants?” the Gemara in Shvuos 47b states: “To Hashem is the kingdom, and the servant of the King is a king, referring to Moshe. The second reason Aharon and Miriam were punished is because of God’s assertion that they suspected Moshe of sinning. Hashem not only didn’t rebuke Moshe for marrying his wife, He agreed to it! They were punished because they went against God’s approval regarding whom Moshe could marry. They were punished despite the fact Moshe let it go. Just because Moshe Rabbeinu didn’t stick up for his own honor does not lessen the other’s obligation to give that honor, no matter what.

A solid reason as to why Aharon and Miriam were punished is because they sinned against Hashem’s decision which agreed with Moshe’s choice for a wife. The proof that it had nothing to do with Moshe is that Moshe took the high road by davening for Miriam to heal her from the punishment of leprosy. Despite Moshe davening on his sister’s behalf, it did not spare her the Tzoraas, ultimately requiring all the people to wait the required seven days until her condition cleared up. If Aaron and Miriam’s punishment was caused by their treatment of Moshe, then Moshe would not have had to daven, he could just forgive them. Rather Moshe needed to daven on Miriam’s behalf because he was defending her from having sinned against God.

In the end we can determine that the punishment was assessed either any of the reasons given:sinning against Moshe, sinning against Hashem, or both. The Ohr HaChaim suggests that if Moshe had been demanding for his honor, then the punishment might have manifested itself differently, perhaps far harsher. Because of Moshe foregoing his honor, they were not spared from more extreme punishment. I am shocked when I hear the words “with all due respect” when spoken as a prelude to talking down to the Rabbi/Rebbi or teacher. This is a complete lack of respect at the highest degree. Many people feel it’s ok to say to the Rabbi ‘with all due respect’ and actually go on to disrespect him. We should realize when we dishonor a Talmid Chochom, we disgrace the Torah and Hashem. More importantly, those who truly honor those who are deserving of it will bring honor to the Torah and glory to the King of Kings.

Ah Gut Shabbos
Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky

Mon, December 17 2018 9 Teves 5779