Rabbi's Blog

A few years ago I wrote about trying to save time, which ultimately led me to break the item I was attempting to work with, thereby spending more time and money than if I had not tried to take a shortcut. I guess God needed to send me another reminder of sorts as I attempted to separate frozen hamburgers with a knife. Instead of planning ahead and letting the burgers defrost, I used a knife that not only split the hamburger meat but also continued to efficiently split my finger. For the next few days I felt the loss of mobility and the inconvenience and challenges resulting from this shortcut. Nevertheless, I know that as my finger healed (Baruch Hashem) I slowly forgot the pain and suffering I experienced. Unfortunately, we tend to forget how bad things were at times and lose the appreciation we should have. Before long I will completely forget that it even happened, and will take for granted the blessing to have functioning fingers on my hand.

Now, forgetting something bad or hurtful that occurred is one level of not appreciating something. It’s a completely different level, however, to forget the good someone did for us. Last week a fundraising campaign went public for a woman in our community who is battling breast cancer. It happens to be that her husband has always been helpful to me, the Shul, and the community at large. He could be called upon for his services whenever necessary and he would always say, “for you Rabbi?” or “for the Synagogue? Of course!” Why did it take something of tragic proportions such as his wife becoming ill and needing help for me to stop and recognize that I should have had more Hakaras HaTov (recognition of the good). When it occurred to me how nice he was to me and the way he helps the community, I immediately donated to help his family. More importantly than the donation was the difficult but gratifying phone call I made to speak with him. I called the husband and apologized for not reaching out earlier to inquire about his wife’s health, and more so, to offer any assistance. I thought to myself better late than never and was glad to make the call despite it being long overdue. He is such a nice person that he said thank you and there was no need for me to apologize.

There is a famous question: is it better to have had something and lose it, or never have had it in the first place? Although that statement is about love, it can be applied to anything and everything in life. I’ve given two illustrations with one similar message: we must remember what we have and second, knowing we have something, we must also appreciate it. The reason we have difficulty mourning the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash is because we don’t’ know what we had and move over, when we did have it, we didn’t appreciate it. Since we, the people of our generation, never had the experience of Jewish life with a Beis HaMikdash we don’t feel the loss of not having it. It is difficult to feel we are missing something when we have never had it. Interestingly, we don’t have as much difficulty connecting to the holidays of the year, which are also rooted and intimately connected to the Beis HaMikdash. In reality, the days of mourning and the festivals of the year are intertwined more than we think.

Rav Chaim Elazar Spira, the Munkatcher Rebbe, in his sefer Minchas Eluzar writes that the three Shabbosos of the Bein HaMitzarim (the 3 weeks) are parallel to the Shalosh Regalim of Pesach, Shavuos and Sukos. Following this line of thinking, the Opta Rav, in his sefer Ohaiv Yisrael, says that the twenty-one days between the fast of Shiva Asar B’Tammuz and Tisha B’Av are sourced and rooted to all the festivals and holidays of the year. All the days of the Yomim Tovim added together equal twenty-one days. All these days of mourning the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash have the holiness and greatness of the special holidays we observe throughout the year.

Now we can see that these three weeks of pain and sorrow will turn into festivals like the three weeks of holidays celebrated throughout the year. Both sets of twenty-one days are filled with light and joy, the only difference is that right now the “three weeks” are covered with darkness, but the actual days are really full of light. Rabbi Avraham Yehoshua Heschel, Admor of Apta, in his sefer Ohaiv Yisrael, writes in Parshas Devarim that Shabbos Chazone is the greatest Shabbos of the year! The Ruzhiner Rebbe explained that from this Shabbos Chazone (definition of ‘Chazone’ is ‘to see’, as in prophecy) we can see what will happen looking forward to the coming year. This is not only perception; it is, in fact, a reality of change from sorrow to happiness. How do we change from one to the other?

In this week’s Parshas Devarim the Torah states in 1:1: “Eileh HaDevarim Asher Diber Moshe El Kal Yisrael…” “These are the words that Moshe spoke to the Children of Israel…..”. Rashi explains these words were words of rebuke. Instead of openly stating the sins that the Jewish people committed, Moshe mentions the places where the Jews angered God. Due to the honor of B’Nei Yisrael, Moshe spoke through imbedded hints. This explanation is a bit difficult because later on in 1:22 Moshe actually lists the sins themselves! For example, it states: “Vatikrevun Eilai ulchem VaTomeru Nishlecha Anashim L’Faneinu, V’Yachperu Lanu Es Ha’Aretz.” - “All of you then approached me and said, ‘Send men ahead of us to explore the land. Let them bring back a report about the way ahead of us and the cities that we shall encounter.” In Devarim 9:16 it states: “I immediately saw that you had sinned to God your Lord, making a cast calf. You were so quick to turn from the path that God your Lord had prescribed.” In fact, Moshe goes on to list many of the actual sins e places where they took place. To further elaborate on Rashi’s explanation of Moshe’s words of rebuke, as long as the Jews did not repent, Moshe did not want to mention the sins they had committed, but rather only the places where those sins were committed. Moshe did not want to leave the people exposed to accusations and prosecution. However, after the Jews repented, it was a different story. When they did Teshuva out of love for Hashem, those intentional sins were converted to merits. Therefore, Moshe wanted to enumerate each and every sin, not only the places where they occurred, so that all of those sins would be considered as merits for the Jewish people.

There is tremendous light and goodness in this world, albeit sometimes it is covered and hidden from our eyes and minds. We need seek truth and the light (which is here for us to find) in this world where the light is currently covered. Let us remember what it’s like to have something and recognize the good in everyone and that through this recognition of good we will fully understand that we all benefit. By doing this we will merit the removal of the covering of the light and bask in the glory that has, is, and will always be here