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Chayei Sarah - Reality Check

11/08/2012 07:48:42 PM

Nov8

The weekly Parsha is sponsored by Mrs. Doris Jaffe in memory of her father Chaim Laib Ben Yisrael Nachman HaKohein on his Yahrzeit the 25th of Cheshvan.

When my friends and I were learning in Yeshiva, our parents would confront all of us with the same question: "When are you going to get back to reality?" A generation later, I find myself asking that same very question, albeit from a different perspective. The stand-off between the realities is defined as follows: On the one hand we believe in the Torah and fulfilling the Mitzvos, and what better way is there but to immerse oneself in learning all day long and growing in the Avodas Hashem, service to God. On the other hand, having a paid for cell phone, access to cash, and carrying a credit card without "working" for it is not reality; it is almost a fantasy.

There is NO question that the ultimate life that God would want to give us would be similar to the existence of the Jewish people in the desert over the forty year period after we received the Torah. It was a life where all of our physical needs were met and all we did was learn Torah, perform Mitzvos and bask in the glory of Hashem. That is the goal, but only in a situation where we, the Jewish people, deserve it and can live up to it. Unfortunately, we are not there yet, although some people aspire to it.

Putting aside that difference in reality, there is a much bigger and greater problem that I see and have to contend with on a daily basis with members of the community and with the Jewish people at large. Every situation, every instance in life can be viewed from totally different perspectives. Why is it that the conclusions and the reactions to certain situations are so different? I believe the answer is because people, by nature, have a tendency to live in THEIR own reality and find ways to make each situation fit into that reality with no effort to connect to the reality of the world. Reality is set and determined by the Halacha-Jewish law. We do not have the right to act or behave in ways which violate what the halacha stipulates. We can't re-configure the law to fit what we perceive or determine what the halacha should be.

This syndrome of living a Jewish and halachik life according to a person's own reality is not only forbidden; it is outright dangerous. If a person lives the halacha according to a perceived reality, in reality(no pun intended)he/she is not acting and observing the Mitzva the way it is supposed to be. In essence, the clearest reality is such that follows the Torah, and a person's efforts are to that end. That reality is no different if they sit and learn all day or work at a regular job. The reality of their life must 'shtim' - fit - within the guidelines that we are striving to fulfill: the Torah's mandate according to Halacha!

In this week's Parsha Chayei Sarah, Avraham sends Eliezer his servant out to find a wife for his son Yitzchak. On the way home Eliezer, along with Rivka, the future wife of Yitzchak, see Yitzchak from a distance. The Torah 24:63 states "Vayeitzay Yitzchak LaSuach BaSadeh Lifnos Erev, Vayisa Einav Vayar V'Hinei Hagemalim Baeem", " Isaac went out to converse in the field towards evening and he raised his eyes and saw, behold! Camels were coming". Rashi explains the word LaSuach, to converse, is a means of prayer as described by Dovid HaMelech in Tehillim 102:1. In his work Haksav VeHakabala, Rav Yaakov Zvi Meklenberg takes the word LaSuach (to converse) and is flexible is exchanging the letter sin to a samech and vice versa. The word Sach/speaking is the same using a samech or a sin. He gives many examples where the word can be spelled either way still maintaining the same intent. In certain laws we find that a person's credibility is based upon 'Maiseach L'phi Tumo: if a person offers and speaks information without even being asked for it. We have in Jewish law a Hesech Hadaas, an interruption in thought because the person is now either saying or thinking something differently from his current focus.

Yitzchak Avinu's primary purpose of going out and 'speaking' in the field was to create a distraction, to have a separation from his mundane thoughts to more spiritual ones. By taking a stroll in the field, he was trying to turn his attention away from the mundane and focus on the spiritual. He accomplished this through 'speaking' and that speech was prayer. Later on the gemara Brachos 26b explains that the timing of this prayer was in the afternoon corresponding to our daily Mincha service. Prayer in general and the daily prayers of Shacharis, Mincha, and Maariv, force us to remove ourselves from the nonsense of the outside world and focus on the important relationship that we have with Hashem.

The objective of our life is to create the reality of being close to Hashem. In this scenario the ends do not justify the means. Just because a person 'feels' or 'thinks' that his way is the best way to get to this 'reality' of getting closer to God is not acceptable. In order to get closer to Hashem, one must only come through the reality as the Jewish people as a whole see it. We need to reach that level by adhering to Halacha and following what the Sages have determined as the norm.

In my humble opinion I feel it is imperative to seek out the wisdom and guidance of a Torah leader in order to adjust the way we see and think. That is the way to approach reality. It is difficult for an individual to see the reality when it is 'nogeia', when it touches him personally, making it difficult if not impossible to separate oneself from the issue. The forefathers showed us the path to true reality. That path requires that we consciously focus on growing closer to Hashem and living a life of spirituality.

Ah Gut Shabbos Rabbi Avram Bogopulsky
Sun, May 11 2025 13 Iyyar 5785