Rabbi's Blog

This week's Dvar Torah is sponsored by Avram and Leah Bogopulsky in honor of their son Aryeh Leib putting on Tefillin this past week.

During my teen years the television show everyone had to watch was Happy Days. Every Tuesday night at eight o'clock every teenager in the country (at least in my class) watched and connected to the characters of the show. One particular idea of note was that the character Fonzi could never admit to being wrong. Portraying the personality of being perfect and never making a mistake made it difficult for him to humble himself and admit defeat. One episode taught the lesson that even "The Fonz" would at least attempt to say he was wrong. It was difficult at first and it came out with the Fonz saying, " I'm wrr, wrrrr, wrrrrrrrrr, wrrrroooonnn, wrrrrroooonnngggg..." and then finally just spurting "I'm wrong" out. I believe the writers of this and other episodes tried to convey moral, ethical and valuable lessons to their viewers. Unfortunately, this is something which is sorely lacking in today's entertainment.

In this week's Parsha Nitzavim Devarim 30:15 the Torah states: "R'ay Nasati L'fanecha Hayom Es Hachayim V'Es Hatov V'es HaMaves V'es Harah" - "See-I have placed before you today life and good, and death and evil". Rav Moshe Feinstein, of blessed memory, asks, "What does the word HaYom, today, come to teach us?" He explains that every day a person has to choose between two paths which are in front of him. He points out that there is no difference whether a person had chosen the incorrect path up until now and now is deciding to choose the good path. In fact, he says that even if the person has chosen the good path every day up until now, he should not come to rely on this for the future. We cannot think that since we've chosen the good path one time that we will automatically choose it the next time. Rather, a person must recalculate the situation and come to make the correct decision every time. Rav Moshe concludes by saying, "Every single day a person must know and recognize that there are two paths in front of him; each and every time he must conquer the Yetzer Hara and choose the path of Hashem to perform Tzedakah and Mishpat, kindness and righteousness."

Part of the tactic of the yetzer hara is sometimes to give in and let one to win the battle. Since a person felt and did do the right thing, his guard was down, so the next time he faced a challenge in life he believed he could automatically make a good decision without thinking carefully about all of the ramifications that decision entailed. Unfortunately, that's not the way it works. Every situation has to be reviewed deliberately and with care, as if it was the first decision that needed to be made.

The parsha mentioned good and evil but it did not mention two other words which need to be addressed: right and wrong. I face this phenomenon on a regular basis in dealing with Balei batim (literally owners of the house, loosely used to describe working men versus rabbis). Typically, they don't only think they know what's right all the time; they KNOW what is right all the time. I would not say this with regard to the process of deciding of Halacha and Jewish law (I think) but more so in the realm of Hashkafa and Jewish philosophy/outlook of Jewish life. There are even times when related, to business questions in particular, the Baal Habos is absolutely right all the time and the Rabbi just doesn't understand.

Does anyone ever wonder why they think that whatever they decide is right all the time? Chances are they are NOT right ALL the time, but they nevertheless think they are right. Once a person thinks and knows he is right, he can't even listen to the opposing side's argument and logic. There is a complete shut-down of reasoning, making it difficult, even impossible, to discuss the flaws in that person's thinking and logic. He simply 'knows' he is right. Putting aside the issue of character, the fact that this attitude creates a feeling of haughtiness, an overt 'I KNOW I am right and you are wrong it just serves as bad business to think this way. Obviously, most people, since we are human, will not be right ALL the time. That's just an obvious fact. However, this does not preclude a person from processing a situation with care, from making the correct choices as long as they don't think they are right automatically. It's always important to listen to and respect other people's input (before making up one's own mind) and discussing it with others, not to presume that one's own decision-making ability is always true and correct. We should never take our own ability for granted.

Unfortunately, this attitude of always being right will be the determining factor in that person's downfall. It may not be today or tomorrow, but down the road the wrong path will be chosen and the person won't even recognize it because he has ingrained within himself the belief that whatever path or decision he chooses must be right. Rav Moshe's understanding of the passuk can also be used not only for choosing between good and evil, but also for determining between right or wrong. Every decision and choice a person must make in life has to be addressed with an attitude of "I don't know" and to proceed to investigate. No one is right all of the time.

In our relationship with God, I think people can come to Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur and at least be forced to say 'I was wrong". We don't have such a problem admitting that we were wrong. Usually this admission is accompanied with rationalizations and poor excuses, but nevertheless we at least say the words 'I am wrong', and we can start over again. But when it comes to the Mitzvos Bein Adam Lachaveiro and Hashkafa, we fail miserably.

Rav Eliyahu Lopian z"tl in his work 'Lev Eliyahu', writes on the verse "Al Na Sashes Aleinu Chatas asher Noalnu Va'Asher Chatanu" thatHashem was angry at us for not admitting our mistakes immediately. Dovid Hamelech, in the story with Nassan Hanavi, immediately declares "Chatasi, I sinned". We need to admit our mistakes freely and readily before Rosh Hashana, not only to Hashem but also to everyone around us. Hopefully through this we will enter into a new year with a clean slate of body and mind and be blessed with all of the blessings we ask from Hashem for this coming year.

Ah Gut Shabbos Rabbi Avram Bogopulsky