Rabbi's Blog

Those of you who have decided to read on will fall into one of two categories with regard to why this dvar Torah began with a warning. Those who belong to the first category actually agree with the following statements and the dvar Torah; those who fall into the second category are guilty as charged by these words.

Parents and donors spend thousands of dollars on Jewish education to raise our children... for what? I vividly remember a fifth grade girl in the Binghamton day school who was taught by my wife asking the following question: "If we just learned about the observance of Shabbos in the Ten Commandments, why don't we observe Shabbos at home?" What kind of message are we giving our children when we tell them to learn about something, but we do not follow through by practicing what we are telling our children to learn? One can try to argue that Shabbos is strictly a 'religious' thing as opposed to, say, the commandment of not stealing. Would we want to have our children taught that we are not allowed to steal and then take the our children on a family shoplifting spree?

Parents, teachers, principals, rabbis, , youth leaders, and all others who have the precious responsibility of teaching our children need to shoulder the burden of not only teaching Torah and Mitzvos but to actually observe them as well. Please explain the difference to me. If an educator teaches that fighting is unacceptable in the schoolyard, would you expect to find two teachers fighting in the schoolyard? Why is it, then, that if we are charged with the responsibility of teaching our children the Jewish way of life that we violate it? If we represent ourselves as Torah-observant Jews, then we must BEHAVE as Torah-observant Jews. We cannot just pay lip service to the youth; we must carry what we teach into our own personal lives.

Of course we need to incorporate the words of King Solomon who wrote:"There is no righteous man in this world who does not sin". Everybody slips once in a while, but it cannot be a constant way of life for a role model. We should all know by now that if the words of Torah and learning are not backed up by observance, then the words of Torah become meaningless and will fall away. Think about it: all that time, money, and effort - all a waste. The fulfillment in life is to practice that which we learn and to incorporate what we learn into our daily lives.

This lesson is easily seen in this week's parsha Chayei Sarah. In Bereishis 24:67 the Torah states: "Vayivieha Yitzchak HaOhela Sarah Imo, Vayikach Es Rivka Vatehi Lo L'Isha": "And Yitzchak brought her into the tent of Sarah his mother, and he took Rivka and she was a wife to him". The Targum Onkelos on this passuk says, "Yitzchak brought Rivka into the tent and witnessed that her actions were the same as his mother's (Sarah) and then went ahead and married Rivka". Rashi quotes the famous Midrash Rabbah 60:17 of the different elements and miracles of Sarah's tent. There were four open constant miracles which took place in and around Sarah's tent: 1.The Cloud of Glory hovered above; 2. The doors of her home were open on all sides; 3.Blessings were sent into her dough; 4. A lamp would remain lit continuously from Friday night to the following Friday night. When Sarah died these four miracles ceased, but returned when Rivka took up residency in Sarah's tent. The Targum, however, states that Yitzchok took her as a wife only after he saw Rivka doing the things his mother Sarah had done., It was not enough that the four miracles returned once Rivka occupied Sarah's tent; Rivka had to actually do - to observe, to practice - the same things Sarah had done in order for Yitzchok to marry Rivka.

Specifically, Rivka separated challah under conditions of purity; she even separated her unconsecrated dough under conditions of purity. The fifth item mentioned in the Midrash differs from the first four, as the four are miracle-related while the fifth was something that Rivka naturally aspired to do, and it happened to have been the same thing that Sarah did as well. Rivka, like Sarah before her, performed the mitzvos naturally. She did not need to rely on miracles. It was this strength of character which led l Yitzchak to recognize the greatness of Rivka, and this is why he took her as his wife. The question is asked why did the Yitzchak need this proof , particularly since the previous passuk explains how the servant Eliezer told Yitzchak all the things Rivka had done. All of the miracles were told to him. Why did he need more than that? Reb Yitzchak Zev Soloveitchik (GRI"Z), the Brisker Rov, explains that the secret for Yitzchak determining if Rivka was a suitable mate was not dependent upon miracles being performed FOR her but rather that she herself DID Mitzvos above and beyond the ordinary requirement. It wasn't about what others said; it was about what she did.

There are no guarantees in life regarding how our children, or our students, will turn out. Nevertheless, we must stack the odds in our favor to bring about the most desired results. We've already witnessed three to four generations after the holocaust. By and large those Jews who chose to live and lead an observant lifestyle saw their children and their children's children follow suit. Unfortunately, those individuals who only spoke in terms of being Jewish but did not fully practice our rituals and laws have lost their children to everything else except Judaism. And some, unfortunately, have even lost their children to Judaism.

No one ever said that following the rules of the Torah is easy. Everything worthwhile and precious requires continuous commitment and, yes, when required, even pain and sacrifice. The golden rule in life is when you work hard for something, when you sacrifice for it ,you will retain it and you will be rewarded with long- lasting results. Without commitment and hard work, your efforts will fade away. The responsibility of me doing what I say others should do must be a consistent message: If I am teaching, or asking others to teach Torah to my children and to my students then I have a responsibility to be an example to them. I must be that kind of person, that individual who I am telling them I want them to be; I must do what I am telling them to do; I must learn and do what I am telling them to learn!

Ah Gut Shabbos

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky