Rabbi's Blog

Every morning at Shacharis a number of interesting practices can be observed which are followed more religiously than some actual mitzvos. One such practice is giving tzedaka at a certain point in the davening. A second, which is universally followed, is covering our eyes when saying Shema Yisrael, and lastly, some people kiss their tzizis during the Shema after saying the word "tzitzis". These customs and practices are mentioned by individual authorities but are not necessarily a universal statement from many authorities, which explains why some people practice them and others do not.

Being in the rabbinate, I deal with many issues and a variety of questions. Over the years I have found that most confusion focuses on what is considered a halacha - a law -which must be followed versus a minhag - a custom. Jewish thought regarding the subject of minhag is vast. The examples and definitions discussed are by no means an exhaustive comprehensive study of the subject. With that said, I believe part of the confusion regarding the differences between minhag and halacha stems from sources and references to customs sprinkled throughout Jewish law. Meseches Sofrim 14:18 states: 'Should a custom conflict with some established halakah,, the custom frequently takes precedence. The Talmud Yerushalmi Pesachim 4:3 states: 'Beis Din, the court of law,was equally empowered to inflict the same punishment upon the transgressor of a custom as upon the transgressor of a written law'.

In Shulchan Aruch Y"D 376:4 states: 'A great rule, the customs of our fathers are Torah'. The Gemara Bava Metziah 86b says 'a person should not change or deviate from the customs'. My Rebbe, Rabbi Wein YB"L, said, "It was and is the customs of the Jewish people that have kept us going throughout our history. If we would have followed the letter of the law, Judaism would have been lost. The minhagim have saved and somehow protected us". With all of this, the minhagim must be kept in perspective. When we approach the topic of minhagim we must keep in mind that there are many different types of customs. There are customs that were made as a fence to protect the observance of mitzvos. Some customs uproot some mitzvos and there are customs that only certain segments of society observe. Sometimes these minhagim apply only to men; other minhagim apply only to women. Some minhagim involve different practices at home as compared to an action or activity we would do in Shul. Finally, the most challenging custom is coined 'Minhag Taus', a mistaken custom based upon nothing, or 'Minhag Shtus', a custom based upon nonsense.

There is no question that any custom which created a disgrace to the Torah and desecrated God's name should, without question, be abolished. An example of this would be the severe joking around during the davening of Simchas Torah. There is also historically a reason for cancelling of a minhag which caused some people to become very upset. This occured whena a minhag was cancelled because non-Jews copied our practices, therefore causing us to refrain from some of those good minhagim. Customs were even established within certain countries, cities, societies, Ashkenazim, Sephardim, and Chasidim. In addition, there are specific practices and customs which apply exclusively within individual families.

The strength and beauty of minhagim is that many of them have been with us for such a long time. In certain areas of Europe, particularly in Mediterranean regions, some minhagim can be traced back to Talmudic times.

In this week's Parsha Toldos we find the source of a practice we continue to do to this very day. In Bereishis 25:29 the Torah states, "Vayazed Yaakov Nazid, Vayavo Eisav Min Hasadeh VHu Ayeif" - "And Yaakov made pottage; and Eisav came in from the field and he was faint". Rabbeinu B'Chaya states that the verse should have said that Yitzchak was the one cooking the lentil soup because it was he, Yitzchak, who was mourning for his father Avraham, who had just died. The halacha stipulates that a mourner is forbidden to eat of his own food - the first meal after the funeral. Therefore, Yaakov, Yitzchak's son, prepared this food as this was the first meal, the Seudas Havraah. Typically, this meal consists of cooked lentils which is a customary food for mourners to eat, as lentils are round without an opening of any sort. The symbolism of being round reminds us of the fact that life continues, Also, just as the lentil has no an opening or mouth, so too the mourner is forbidden to talk, and we should keep silent in the face of death and tragedy.

Yizchak was sitting Shiva (mourning) because on that day Avraham Avinu died. Avraham died because Hashem cut his life by five years so as not to witness his grandson Eisav perpetrate evil in the world. It's incredible that the minhag of preparing food for a mourner, which dates back to the time of our Forefathers, is still practiced to this day. There is one other point easily overlooked in this entire episode. Rav Eliyahu KiTov points out that Yaakov was helping his father through the mourning process. The Midrash says that when Avraham died Yitzchak, Rivka, and Yaakov cried. Heaven and earth cried, along with the hundreds of people who had been healed through the merit of Avraham. All the Heads of State came to grieve and mourn the loss of Avraham. Nowthe obvious question is asked: Where was Eisav?

Eisav, the grandson of Avraham, did not cry or even shed a tear upon his grandfather's passing. He was not heartbroken, and, to the contrary, became exceedingly haughty by stating, "That if even a great man like Avraham could die, there must not be a righteous sense of judgment, there could be neither law nor judge. At that point Eisav revoked the notion of revival of the dead and left to hunt . No longer having to hold himself in check or to be embarrassed because of his grandfather, Esav went out to terrorize the world.

We should all take a few moments to stop and think about how many customs and practices we have inherited from our immediate families and how many minhagim we are transmitting over to the next generation. Truly in America there are customs and practices that have kept unaffiliated Jews somewhat connected to Judaism. Whether it's been a jelly doughnut on Chanukah or a little child receiving a lollipop from the candy man who exists in every Shul, minhagim hold a valuable and precious place in our daily practices.

Let's keep in my mind the behavior and respect Yaakov showed towards Avraham and his father Yitzchak. Compare that to the utmost disrespect Eisav had for his father and grandfather. The actions of Yaakov are still around. To this day Jews throughout the world follow the minhag of bringing food to the mourner, while Eisav's actions have been completely forgotten. Let us keep the minhagim that we each personally and communally share and transmit them as beautiful treasures of wisdom and love to the future generations and be remembered for the good and not for the evil that Eisav left behind.

Ah Gut Shabbos