Rabbi's Blog

Aside from the customs that we practice as part and parcel of our traditions, there is an additional of proper decorum when it comes to practicing mitzvos and observing rituals. We all know that a person can pray/daven any time and in almost any place, no matter where he/she may be. Nevertheless, when it comes to davening, the Rabbis put an emphasis on the conditions in which we pray and our approach to tefilla. In Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 91:5, the Chofetz Chaim mentions in Sif 12 the need to wear a hat while davening (at least during the Amida).

Personally, I don't wear a hat (besides my Yarmulka) all the time. I only wear it for davening and on Shabbos. My hat will always be found in one of three places: my house, car or office. A few days ago I was rushing in for Mincha. I was only a minute late but realized that I had forgotten my hat. My dilemma was whether to go back to one of those three places and retrieve my hat so I could daven with it or forego getting it this time and daven Mincha that day without a hat. Based upon my limited knowledge of Jewish law, I knew it would be better to daven on time with a minyan rather than retrieving my hat and risking not being able to daven with the minyan.

One of the benefits to wearing a hat and or jacket for tefilla is the enhancement of concentration it provides. Unfortunately, just like so many things in life, we tend to forget the purpose and meaning of the physical reminders that we wear. It's only when we are missing that which we are accustomed to having that we realize the value of what we have. That one day that I didn't have my hat for Mincha made me self-conscious. Not only did I feel inadequately dressed without my hat, I also worried that people, seeing me without a hat, might look at me and wonder why I wasn't wearing it. Having this feeling actually helped me because I now needed to overcompensate and therefore forced myself to daven with more Kavana than usual.

The clothing we wear and the symbolic gestures that we make help us through the difficult challenges we face, such as the yetzer hara. Certain types of clothing, whether it be a hat, a gartel (belt), long pants, socks, or even types of footwear reserved just for davening are very important. Distinct and unique apparel become part of our make-up. Even though we remove clothing or jewelry from our bodies, these items become a part of our identity. Garments which we have set aside for such an important purpose can't just simply be discarded. An individual who wears a wedding ring all the time feels different, perhaps even not fully dressed, when it is off. If it is lost or misplaced, that person feels awful and disconnected. The wedding ring represents a bond. Removing the ring due to separation or divorce is a concrete gesture of ending a marriage.

In this week's Parsha Vayeishev, Yehuda takes a wrong turn after becoming a bit depressed over the passing of his wife. In the infamous story of "Yehuda and Tamar', Yehuda, the father in law of Tamar, refuses to permit Sheila, his third son, to marry Tamar after his first two sons had died while married to her. In addition, he refused to allow his son to perform Yibum as he was too young at the time.

In Bereishis 38:13-17 it was told to Tamar that her ex-mother-in- law passed away and that her ex-father-in-law Yehuda was in the area grazing his flock. She walked towards that area and removed her clothing of widowhood and veiled her face so that Yehuda would not recognize her. She realized that Sheila, the third son, had reached adulthood and was not going to perform the Mitzva of Yibum, so she took matters into her own hands. Yehuda had seen her and thought she was a harlot because her face was covered. Yehuda solicited Tamar, not knowing it was she and offered sheep as payment for their relationship. Tamar asked what kind of collateral he would put up in the meantime until she received his payment. In perek 38 passuk 18 the Torah states: "Vayomer Mah Haeiravan Asher Etein Lach, Vatomer, Chosemcha Ufsilecha Umatecha Asher B'Yadecha, Vayiten Lah Vayavo Eileha Vatahar Lo". "And he said: What is the pledge that I shall give you? And she said: Your signet ring and your cord and your staff that is in your hand. And he gave them to her and came in unto her, and she conceived by him".

Reb Shlomo Lunchitz, in his classic commentary Kli Yakar, explains the secret behind these three specific items which were used by Yehuda as collateral. Yehuda offered his signet ring, his staff and a cord representing a piece of clothing because he was intent upon committing some type of immorality. Each one of these items protected Yehuda from immorality. Removal of any of them would result in disrespect and embarrassment. Removal of the signet ring was tantamount to discarding the 'Holy Bris' that is the signature for every male, the Bris Kodesh which is ingrained in his flesh at his bris milah. Removal of the staff, used by rulers and shepherds to control and lead the flock, could make one susceptible to women of ill repute. The cord or thread represents the mitzvah of tzitzis. Removal of this cord removes the tzitzis, which the Gemara in Menachos 44a states that tzitzis saves and protects a person from Znus, immorality. This verse reveals to us that Yehuda did not use the signs of bris milah, the staff of royalty, and the garment of Tzitzis. Rather, he discarded these signs, using them as collateral because they were despised in his eyes. Since he abandoned these items, he was left empty of reminders to protect himself from sinning with a harlot.

The symbolism of items of clothing and the accoutrements that become a part of our essence are extremely important. These items serve as layers of protection which should be valued as integral components used for honoring and serving the Almighty.

Ah Gut Shabbos