Rabbi's Blog

Celebrations and sorrowful occasions are mired by where and with whom we share the company.  When it comes to a simcha, a happy occasion, the event itself  a wedding, bar mitzvah, or the like -  can be enhanced or ruined by the people who are there. Likewise, a tragic event, either due to an illness or sudden death, can be tempered by the people who are there. When a tragedy occurs, those grieving need to be surrounded by people who are sensitive, caring, and comforting. A simcha on the other hand is enhanced by levity, laughter and all around good fun.

A mourner at a recent Shiva home, where many siblings were sitting Shiva with a parent and aunts and uncles, remarked about how meaningful and supportive the home was because of who had been with the deceased.  In contrast, at a recent youth event I noticed a very good teenager hanging out with a group of kids who were not having the best influence on him.

In this week’s Parsha Vayishlach, Yakov Avinu sends a message to his brother Esav “Im Lavan Garti” - “I lived with Lavan”. The Rabbis explain the intent of Yakov’s statement to mean, ‘Vtaryag Mitzvos Shamarti’ - despite living with a wicked person such as Esav, the six hundred thirteen mitzvos were guarded and fulfilled. Yakov is saying that he did not learn from the evil ways of Lavan, and that Esav shouldn’t think that he, Yakov, was influenced by Esav in the way most people are influenced under similar circumstances. Yakov is not using some trite method to fend off his brother. Rather, he is conveying the strong psychological path that he is on and will not falter from it.

Yakov’s approach provides a solid basis for understanding an earlier story in the Torah. In Bereishis 6:9, Noach is described as an “Ish Tzadik Tamim Haya B’Dorosov” -”A righteous man in his generation.” Some interpret this to Noach’s credit:  even in an inferior generation he was a good man.  How much more so is the quality of man seen and judged in a generation of righteous people. Others explain this line to Noach’s discredit: In comparison with his own generation he was considered a tzadik, but had he lived in the generation of Avraham he would not have been considered great.

In the Sefer Madreigas HaAdam, Stature of Man, Yosef Yozel Horowitz, known as the Alter of Novardok (1847–1919), a student of Rabbi Yisroel Salanter, the founder of the Musar movement, questions why a commentary would look to discredit Noach if there is room to give credit to him? In addition, it was the Torah itself that praises Noach and states that he was whole and walked with God.  So… why knock him? The Altar sees this in a completely different context.  Noach was praised and credited that he was a Tzadik from within himself. Without any other outside factor or reason, he would rise to this great level of righteousness. Those who look to discredit Noach explain that the reason he had to become good and even better was due to the outside influences of his neighbors and community which surrounded him. When Noach saw the spiritual state of affairs around him, he needed to put himself in a different place. This was a change brought on by the exterior and not from within; it was a change which was not of his essence. Changing for the better because of outside influences is good, but when changing for the better for its sake alone it is to be considered not only a Tzadik, but a Tzadik Gamur, a complete and righteous person.

Reb Yechezkel Levenstein* Z”TL says in the name of the Vilna Gaon that there are two categories of the Yetzer Hora, the evil inclination. There is the inner Yetzer Hora that is part of everyone’s nature, and the second, from the outside – the influence that comes from our surroundings.  The strength and influence of the outer Yetzer Hora is greater and stronger than the inner one.

This is testimony to that which the Rambam says [Hilchos Deos 6:1], and that which is a sociological fact - "A person's nature is to be drawn in his opinions and his actions after his friends and companions." Yakov was not influenced by Lavan and he did not change because of the people around him. Rather, he was consistently good, and therefore Esav could not have any influence on him.

We live in an age of influence. Not only do we have to be careful not to drive under the influence; we need to be careful not to live our entire lives under the influence. We live in dangerous times and in dangerous spiritual places. If we have the inner strength to be strong enough to grow in our service to Hashem, that is wonderful. But if we are not capable of relying on our inner strength, then we at least must take precautionary measures to shield ourselves from the negative, external forces.

We need to be proactive when it comes to shielding ourselves and our families from negative outside influences. Just as we protect our children from predators when they are young, we must protect our children from the external spiritual challenges when they grow older. Many young adults who felt protected by their Yeshiva environment need to put on some extra protection when they go outside to face the cold windy elements of the secular world. Most of us today do not have the inner core strength to just “be good”. In addition to bolstering who we are from the inside, we also need to simultaneously insulate ourselves from the outside forces. Today’s conditions of life are a brutal, heavy storm from which we all need to be protected. The scourge of drugs, alcohol, and other vices are banging on our doors and we must make sure we don’t change under the influences of the outside world.

Ah Gut Shabbos

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky

These words were adapted from a drasha given by Reb Yoel Schwartz

*Yechezkel Levenstein, known as Reb Chatzkel, (1895 - 18 Adar 1974), was the mashgiach ruchani of the Mir yeshiva, in Mir, Belarus and during the yeshiva's flight to Lithuania and on to Shanghai due to the invasion ofPoland by Nazi Germany in World War II. He was a leader of severalyeshivas in Europe, America, and Israel, and raised several generations ofTorah-observant Jewry. He was a disciple of Simchah Zissel Broide

Rabbi Levenstein was born in Warsaw. His mother died when he was just five years old. He studied in the yeshiva in Łomża, where he was imbued with mussar, then in Raduń Yeshiva under the Chofetz Chaim and the famous mashgiach Rav Yeruchom Levovitz, and finally in Kelm.