Rabbi's Blog

Young children often say the funniest and also the truest statements. Innocent children between the ages of three and seven come up with sometimes embarrassing remarks and at the same time ingenious ones as well. We, as adults, sometimes contribute to these interesting remarks made by children. For example, we often may say to a young child of two or three years old going through “potty training” and being successful, “Wow! You are such a big boy/girl!” Are they really big? Of course we know that this  is just a manner of speech to express to the child that he/she is doing a good thing, just like an adult. That being said, the child then wants to stay up late and we, the parents, say, “When you get bigger you can stay up later,” which is a complete contradiction in the child’s mind.

Recently I overheard a parent trying to convince his child not to do something because “only babies do that, but you are a big boy, and big boys don’t do that.” Upon hearing this, the child looked up to the parent and said, “No, I’m not a big boy yet,” and actually was playing the parent for something he had said to the boy about not being a big boy. I don’t want to take all this too seriously,  because we all use these expressions and techniques to teach and raise our children.

For the most part I believe ancient civilizations and modern societies have been successful, by and large, throughout history. The bigger problem is the adult baby: the physically mature person who does not accept the responsibilities of life and constantly behaves like a child. A child who acts like a child is acceptable, but an adult who acts like a child is not. A small, personal example is excessive, loud talking in Shul. When children talk in Shul I do not get upset because they are ‘just’ children, whereas an adult who talks in Shul is acting like a child but should know better. There are different stages in life that we tend to grow through and hopefully mature to our potential. There is no better place than the Torah to find out about the raising of a child and the expectations that go along with it.

In this week’s Parsha Shemos Moshe Rabbeinu is born and at six months of age is given back to Basya, the daughter of Pharoah.  Basya  had initially given Moshe over to a wet nurse when he was found in the Nile. There are three consecutive verses with the word ‘Yeled” - child;  two of the pesukim speak of his ‘growing up’/ Vayigdal. The Passukim in Shemos 2:9-11 state: “Va’Tomer Lah Bas Pharoah Heilichi Es HaYeled V’Heinikuhu Li……Vayigdal HaYeled Va’Tvieihu L’Bas Pharoah Vayehi Lah L’Ben Vatikra Shmo Moshe…………Vayehi Bayamim Haheim VaYigdal Moshe Va’Yeitzay El EchavVayar B’SivlotamVayar Ish Mitzri Makeh Ish Ivri Mei’Echav”. “Take this child and nurse it, said Pharoah’s daughter to [the mother]…..When the child grew up, matured, [his mother] brought him to Pharoah’s daughter. She adopted him as her own son………When Moshe grew up (was grown), he began to go out to his own people and he saw their hard labor. One day he witnessed an Egyptian kill one of his fellow Hebrews”.

The word ‘VaYigdal’ - and he grew up -  covers many stages of growth through childhood.  Clearly, the first time is after Moshe had been weaned off nursing from his actual mother and was able to be brought back to Basya. This was obviously at around three years of age.  A similar description is used in Breishis 21:8 where the word VaYigdal HaYeled is used when Avraham made a party for Yitzchok because he had been weaned. The second time VaYigdal is mentioned categorically has a different meaning. The Ramban explains he was now an ‘Ish’, a man of twenty years old and some say forty. This second growth, or greatness, was the appointment of Yosef over Pharoah’s house. The Malbim explains Hashem’s Hashgacha/intervention that Moshe remained close to Basya even after he grew up. The initial love and care Basya had for Moshe by this time would normally disappear, but to the contrary Moshe became closer to the household and was appointed the ruler over it. This was all part of God’s plan, including the fact that Moshe was raised in the royal palace.  From the very beginning of his life Moshe was provided with the experience needed to be a leader. Moshe gained experience and confidence by going out to see his brethren, who were slaves and also to witness their hardships.

Moshe’s greatness is attested to by the fact that he cared so much for his people, despite the fact he was the prince of Egypt and was leading a life of comfort, security and luxury which would soon be put into jeopardy. Moshe left the comforts of life to see and feel the pain of his brethren firsthand. When he was old enough, Moshe went out to see their suffering and to learn why the Jews were targeted more than any other people and why the Jews were in exile.

At the time when Moshe sought answers to those questions, he came upon an Egyptian taskmaster beating a fellow Jew. This episode did not take place in a hidden area. The Jew was pulled out from a group of Jewish slaves in plain sight of everyone. At that point the Torah describes Moshe looking this way and that way and “saw there was no man”. Rashi interprets this as Moshe looked into the future and determined that no Jew would ever come from this Egyptian and therefore proceded to kill him. There is an issue with this understanding because we read later on that no one else saw what Moshe had done. In actuality, the Pshat is that when Moshe looked around, he was looking and waiting to see if another Jew would come to the rescue and help rescue his brother from being beaten by the Egyptian. When Moshe saw ‘that there was no man’ he himself went to save him before the very eyes of many Jews.

Moshe at first wondered why no Jew went to help and then realized that the reason the Jews were singled out to be slaves and to be in exile was specifically because no Jew came to the aid of his brother. There was no Jew who would stand up or  even  question or challenge the taskmaster. And so Moshe took this to task. This was the moment of Gedula/greatness for Moshe that would ultimately define him as a courageous person who would be the  obvious choice to lead the Jewish people out of exile. Later on when Moshe says, ‘Now the matter is known,’ it is generally understood that Pharoah would find out that Moshe had killed an Egyptian. In truth, Moshe was making a declaration about himself by stepping up and taking a leading role in defending his people. It was now known that Moshe was ready for greatness.

Everyone needs to grow up in life. Growing up is not limited merely to physical growth; it refers primarily to growing in responsibility and maturity. That type of maturity is reflective of an individual’s personal life. The next level is a maturity and growth Vis a Vis our country and our people.  We need to grow up and become the leader that Moshe Rabbeinu represented for us all. We need to look this way and that way, and if no one is there then we need to step in and be there for our families, our community, and for the entire Jewish people.

Ah Gut Shabbos

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky