Rabbi's Blog

Have you ever awakened from a deep sleep and not known where or who you are?  There are times when we become disoriented and can’t figure out where we are and even, occasionally, how we got there. Such disorientation might happen after a fitful sleep or when we are in a trance-like slumber. It’s easier to regain our perspective when awakening from a deep or fitful sleep once we clear our minds for a few seconds. Unless something is wrong physically, we are typically able to readjust fairly quickly. A greater challenge takes place when daydreaming while sitting in the car waiting for the light to turn green and being jolted back into reality when the car behind you starts blasting its horn to get you to move.

Aside from the previous two scenarios, there is a more serious wake-up clarion:‘ Who am I in relationship to me’! We each ask ourselves ifI am honestly the person I want to be? Am I the person for whom others had such high aspirations?  Am I the man or woman who others think I am? These and other similar questions are not always asked;  sometimes we just ‘fall back asleep’ returning to  life’s situations as they were before we started to think about them.   It takes a very honest and daring individual to challenge himself with these questions, partly because we don’t have the answers, and, to be brutally honest, also because  we don’t want to confront the answers.

There is an educational game on the web called “Who am I”? It is a game for children up to age nine. A series of questions are asked that paint a picture of who you are based upon your age, facial features and type or color of clothing you choose. It then goes on to create a world around the participant with the pets the child has and the surroundings of his/her life. I would be curious to read a study done on a seven year-old child who played this game and then compare it to the results of the same person  at the age of seventeen, thirty-seven, sixty-seven, and ninety-seven and howhis or her life turned out , comparing the person’s hopes and aspirations to the reality. There’s no question it is not realistic to expect  to be able to chart one’s life so perfectly, but it is possible to review our life and to see where it changed course. Who am I today in relation to that young child I once was, looking forward to my grown-up life? These are scary questions which we are either afraid to ask or embarrassed to scrutinize.

In this week’s Haftorah for Parshas Nasso, we read from Shoftim (Judges) 13:2 about the birth of Shimshon HaGibor. Shimshon was known for his incredible strength and for being a Nazir from pre-birth (in utero) until his death. Shimshon’s mother, unnamed, and father, Manoach, had received information regarding their child becoming a Nazir and leader and savior for the Jewish people. Shoftim 13:17 states: “Vayomer Manoach El Mal’ach Hashem, Mee Shmecha, Ki Yavo D’Varcha V’Chabdnucha”. “And Manoach said to the angel of the Lord, “What is your name, that when your word will come we may do you honor?”  The next passuk states: “Vayomer Lo Mal’ach Hashem, Lama Zeh Tishal Lishmi, V’Hu Peli”. “And the angel of the Lord said to him, “Why do you presently ask for my name, since it is hidden (or a wonder)”.  There is a difficulty in the asking of the name as it says the word Mee meaning ‘who’, not Mah meaning ‘what’, when referring to the angel. The Shaar Bas Rabim suggests that perhaps Manoach was not sure if it was an angel or a great man with whom he was speaking. If he were to ask his name as in, ‘What is your name’ and the answer were, for example, Refael, Gavriel, or Malkiel, he still would not know if that was the name of the angel or just a human being who had been given that name. Therefore, Manoach was wise to ask it in a different form by asking ‘Mee’, which means ‘who’ in Hebrew. Who are you going to be based upon your name in this world? Very often a child is named after a great person who passed away and went on to the next world. So the question is not ‘What is your name?’ but rather ‘Who are you named for or after?’ What expectations do we have for you?

In the case of Manoach, the angel responds by saying his name is ‘Peli’, based upon his action, purpose and job in the world, which is the message the angel brings to the world. The word or name ‘Peli’ comes from the word Peleh, as in a wonder or more loosely translated as disassociated from the rest of society as a Nazir. In Parshas Nasso the Nazir is described as taking upon himself something wondrous , meaning  separation from society. This was the purpose of the angel’s life mission, to tell of the upcoming pregnancy and restricting the fetus as a Nazir for life. Shimshon carried on the identity of who he was from birth until his death. Unfortunately, Shimshon gave up the secret to his strength by allowing  his hair to be cut.  A nazir is forbidden to cut his hair; this was particularly so for Shimshon, who was committed to being a nazir for his entire life.

The real question is not what my name is but rather who am I named after or why was I named such. Once I identify either the person I was named after or the biblical/historical individual I was named for, then  I will be able to start asking myself the question: Am I who I am supposed to be and what are the expectations I should be looking at for myself? Many people have never thought of the person they were named after and how they should emphasize the characteristics of that individual.   

Each and every Jew is in a way like an angel with an inherent mission and purpose that should be driven by his or her namesake. Each of us should make an effort to take the time to get in touch with ‘who’ we and with what expectations and aspiration we have for ourselves.  Then the next time the light turns green, we will each know which direction to take in our lives!

Ah Gut Shabbos

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky