Rabbi's Blog

This Dvar Torah is L’Ilui Nishmos in memory of Harold “Billy” Richman Henoch Moshe Ben Avraham Z”L and his wife             Sidney Richman Sora Bas Avraham Z”L

 As we travel along the road of life we meet many different and interesting kinds of people. Some of these encounters are brief while others are long, yet those that are long may, at times, leave very little impression upon us.  Some of the people we come across grow to become part of our “inner world”, causing us to remember them with admiration and respect.  When such a person comes to mind, I tend to give pause to reflect upon the hakaras ha tov – the recognition and thanks – that I owe that individual.

We human beings are born with many character traits which require conscientious and continuous polishing throughout our lives. One such trait is the immediate ability to take but the reluctance to give. Over a person’s lifetime we hope to experience a transition from the need to take from those who nurture us through our babyhood and early childhood to experiencing a need to give and to share, ultimately to appreciating the reality that all we have acquired will be given to others away at the time of death. The question is: is giving a learned trait or is this a midah (character trait) which is somewhat inherent, even genetically acquired within us? I think the answer is both: we need to be taught to give and to share, but some the act of giving seems to be an inherent characteristic of their personalities.

during the time my family and I lived in Charleston, we became friendly with an older couple who helped us from the time we arrived until the day we left. I was particularly close to a person named Billy, as he was known by  everyone in the community, who couldn’t do enough to help me personally and professionally. His wife, Sidney, was always involved in the Shul and it was always ready to help others. Now thinking about this couple, the only thing they ever requested from me someone’s phone number so they could offer assistance or inquire about their welfare. Every year Billy chanted the Haftorah of Parshas Va’Eschanan recited on the Shabbos typically referred to as Shabbos Nachamu, in reference to the first words of the Haftorah: “Nachamu Nachamu Ami”. Billy had a deep, scratchy-sounding voice. Combining the recollection of that voice with a heavy, Southern drawl made those three famous words of Isaiah words never to be forgotten. I only realize now, after he is gone, that he didn’t only chant those words; he lived them.  Throughout their lifetime both Billy and his wife brought comfort to their people, Am Yisrael. Nevertheless, the ultimate Comforter is Hashem, as the Navi describes in the Haftorah.

The Navi Yeshayahu 40:1 states: “Nachamu Nachamu Ami Yomar Elokeichem” - “Console, console My people, “says your God”. It is from this point until the end of Yeshayahu that words of consolation are expressed;  no longer do we hear prophecies of retribution. The usage of double words throughout Tanach raises the question - Why? In most cases double usage represents the notion of sincerity and endearment to its subject. In this case it represents the Jewish people. The Yalkut Shimoni, on this verse, explains the double consolation as follows: Comfort the upper spheres and comfort the lower spheres. Comfort the living and comfort the dead. Comfort the Jewish people in this world and comfort them in the world to come.   Comfort her for the exile of the Ten Tribes; comfort her for the exile of Yehuda. Comfort her for the destruction of the first Beis HaMikdash and comfort her for the destruction of the second Bais HaMikdash. The Jewish people then went on to say to Yeshayahu: “Rebbi, tell us that you did not only come to comfort us for the generation that was destroyed in your day?” The Navi Yeshayahu answered them, “I have come to bring comfort for this and all future generations.” The Midrash also explains the double usage of the word Nachamu, comfort, which is in direct contradistinction of the double crying wept by the Jewish people  over the first and second Temples.

When we analyze the different kinds of positive character traits there, we grow to recognize their complexities. In order to extend kindness and good deeds, a person must push frequently push himself to do so. Of the many mitzvos of chessed that exist, almost all of them require great effort, yet don’t necessarily overtly change a situation. For example, visiting the sick doesn’t typically improve the individual’s help, yet chessed was still done. Attending a funeral is a chessed, a kindness to the deceased, but that can’t change or affect anything within that deceased individual. When it comes to the concept of nechama,  comforting, the very act of giving comfort is the entire Mitzva. The comforting someone can leave a long-lasting effect on the individual who experiences the care and compassion inherent in the midda of comfort. Every time the person being comforted remembers how you extended that comfort, a small feeling of inner comfort is again returned to that individual.  Recognition within each of us of a person who took the time and effort to express an interest in our welfare is ongoing. If the recipient feels the comfort all over again, then the donor receives more reward for that mitzvah all over again.  This is similar to receiving dividends of an investment. The investment of extending comfort never stops.  This is  illustrated by the Yalku Shimoni: the Chessed lives on in many different scenarios. Being a comforter is all about giving; it is zero about taking. It is a one hundred percent commitment to give and not take, even though a person may believe he is entitled to getting something back. 

We must strive to turn or change our actions from being  takers into  givers. That is the ultimate comfort a person can give  - and receive at the same time. The Beis HaMikdash was destroyed because we always took  and did not give back. Hashem is teaching us the quality of what it takes to rebuild a Temple, and that is through giving. That giving is in the form of comforting, and it should last and exist forever as stated in the prophecy of the Navi.

Ah Gut Shabbos

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky