Rabbi's Blog

Every so often I meet someone  returning from a trip who gives me regards from someone whom he’d met. I would, of course, inquire where and when he’d met that individual and under what circumstances  the conversation took place.  If would do the same and send regards to someone if I know a person is going to see them. I’ve taken this one step further and I will advise or direct someone, especially if he is going to Israel. I’d say, “If you meet anybody that I know, please send  my best regards,” as if I intentionally was giving specific regards to them! I’m not sure how many people received my well wishes, but upon occasion, if a person did receive my regards and felt good because I had expressed interest in his or her life, it would also make me feel good.

A few days ago I overheard a conversation (I was not eavesdropping) between two people who had friends in common. The local person said, “Please send regards to so and so when you see them for me.” When I heard this, I was a bit bothered, and so I started to rethink my entire approach to “sending regards” or “saying hi” to someone on my behalf. Let’s be realistic, with instant communication as we know it today, it is so easy to say hello to someone without an intermediary. In fact, I was thinking that sending someone regards today just might be somewhat of an insult. We are not living one or two hundred years ago when just hearing from someone meant a great deal. In today’s day and age it’s so simple to send a text, a free WhatsApp call, or an email to someone across the globe in seconds. If I truly cared to say hello, then I should do it myself rather than pass it on through an agent.

There is a Halacha in Jewish law found in Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 225:1 that states: Someone who has not seen a dear friend and is happy to see him, after a period of thirty days recites a shehecheyanu. If a period of over twelve months has transpired since seeing the friend, he recites the bracha Mevhayei HaMeisim (revival of the dead). But if a person received a letter within that time frame or was told about his well-being, then the blessing is not recited. Many authorities rule that because there is so much cross communication, it is a rarity to recite this bracha. Perhaps while reciting the bracha of Mechayei HaMeisim during the Amida, one should think about this person to fulfill this precept. After learning this, I am now reverting back to the old principle that even sending or receiving regards has value, as we see it is noted vis-a-vis the bracha. We nevertheless need to understand the distinction between hearing and receiving news about someone and the joy of actually seeing that individual in person. This idea is highlighted in this week’s Haftorah, Parsha Shoftim.

Parsha Shoftim is read from the Navi Yeshayahu. In Yeshayahu 52; 8 the Navi states: “Kol Tzafayich Nasu Kol Yachdav Y’Raneinu, Ki Ayin B’Ayin Yiru B’Shuv Hashem Tziyon”. “The voice of your watchmen - they raised a voice, together they shall sing, for eye-to-eye they shall see when the Lord returns to Zion”. The prophet, through Divine Spirit, paints a picture for us explaining how God is going to return to Tziyon in the future. The Yadvana Rav, in his sefer Shaar Bas Rabim, gives a parable:  Behold! A man has only one son who is incredible in every possible way. The father will look and see in the eyes of his son that which he is lacking and pray on his behalf in order to make sure he has everything and is complete. The son is also constantly looking through the eyes of the father to understand that which he wants and what he needs. When it appears that the son is looking to do good and to help his father,  the mercy of the father upon the child is aroused. But if the father becomes angry with the son and as a result separates and distances himself from his son, then the Navi would not be able to say they saw into each other’s eyes to know what their needs are because they are far apart. As a result, if the son wanted something from the father, he would need to shout in a loud voice. If the father wanted to daven for his son, he would need to go into his son’s empty room, the place where he would always see his son, and be aroused to pray for mercy on his behalf and say how desolate is this room now that my son is no longer here!

The Navi is simply using the analogy of how the son and the father, Hashem and His children - the Jewish people - parted ways. For a long time we, the children, have had to raise our voices whenever we needed something from Hashem. After Hashem hears our pleas and cries, He searches out the rooms that His children have occupied over the centuries of exile in order to have compassion and to show mercy for them. The Navi Yeshayahu prophecies the word of Hashem that in the future times of Mashiach we will no longer have to call out but rather will see each other eye-to-eye.

In times of Moshiach it will not be necessary to send regards and actively make that effort to connect from one to another because we will all be together. On a deeper level, in times of Moshiach, which will be a time of peace and complete unity amongst Klal Yisroel, the Jewish people will see eye-to-eye with each other and will live in peace and harmony. Just as with friends we understand there is a greater and deeper relationship when people are closer together, being apart, having distance between us and those we care about,  requires reaching out and connecting by sending regards, calling, texting, and so forth.  There is nothing better, however, than seeing someone you feel close to, like, adore, or love in person. We should view our physical relationships on Earth no differently than our relationship with Hashem in Heaven.  

Ah Gut Shabbos

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky