Rabbi's Blog

This Dvar Torah should be a zchus for Yocheved Bas Yitta for a Refuah Sheleima

In most relationship structures there usually is a primary person that has a connection to others. There are only two relationships that I can think of that are remotely viewed as unique from only one individual to another. Here are just a few examples of relationships that have multiple people connected to one person: Grandparents to their grandchildren, parents to children, siblings to each other, aunts and uncles to nieces and nephews, and non-related relationships such as a group of friends and co-workers to a boss. In most of cases there is usually more than one individual in the group who is related to the one person at the head of the group. For example, children and grandchildren share the same mother and father as well as the same grandmother and grandfather. In business, a group of employees may share the same boss or employer. The only minor exceptions  would be an only child or grandchild and a spouse. Even when it comes to a spouse, Jewish law allows the one man to have more than one wife. In today’s day and age the husband/wife relationship is as pure as it gets.

The irony of the human mind creates a unique feeling that despite having many first cousins sharing a grandparent, each of us typically feel that it is my connection to that relative which is greater and closer than anyone else’s. Why is this or how can it be that each and every person feels the strongest and greatest love towards the person he or she is closely connected to? In truth, the bond that exists, especially within the family dynamic, is seen through the eyes of each individual. In reality, there is some truth to the reasons why one child may feel closer to a parent due to the proximity of where they live and how often and consistent their communication is. Nevertheless, no one knows the reasons why and how relationships develop differently within every family. The fact that some children are less in touch with their parents and some grandchildren are less closely connected with their grandparents does not change the perception that they are just as equally close as any other sibling or cousin. Unfortunately, this can create animosity and jealousy among the peer group with regards to perceiving the primary person showing favoritism to someone other than the person viewing the situation.  In addition, some of those who feel they have the closest relationship might feel entitled to receive ‘more’ than their counterparts. Other times perception of a situation is a defense mechanism related to some sort of guilt that they aren’t necessarily the favorite one.

Now if we take a look at these same relationships from the ‘one’ relative to the all equal others we find a different picture, at least we should. Every parent, grandparent, boss, aunt or uncle at least should try to treat everyone equally without showing favoritism. At best the ‘one’ person should tell everyone the same thing: that they are the favorite. As long as this message is given to everyone, then each person will feel unique and special. Eventually, as they grow older it will come out that the person told them all the same thing!  Nevertheless, as much as we try to be fair to all, at the end of the day we are all human. To control the balance and be perfectly impartial is nearly impossible. The only being that is impartial and fair is the Almighty.

I would like to suggest that even on a national scale every Jew feels he/she has a unique experience and relationship with God. I believe it is true because in the case of HaKadosh Boruch Hu, He is able to maintain and create the feeling of uniqueness to all because Hashem is the one and only true Echad/One in the world. One major place in Tanach we find the oneness of God is in the first of the Ten Commandments.

In this week’s Parshas Yisro the Jewish people receive the Torah on Har Sinai. As Moshe sits atop the mountain, Hashem announces in an amazing fashion all the commandments in one utterance. The very first statement in Shmos 20:2 is “Anochi Hashem Elokecha Asher HoTzeisicha MeiEretz Mitzrayim MiBeis Avadim”. “I am Hashem your God who took you out of the land of Egypt from a house of bondage”. The word ‘Anochi’ I represents that matchlessness and exclusitivity of GOD. Hashem is able to have an individual relationship with every human being and every human being feels they are the closest. In a sense this is what we find in Pirkei Avos “Bishvili Nivra HaOlam”:  “for me the world was created, it’s all about me and no one else”. This concept of the Anochi/I is demonstrated through its reading in Shul twice a year.

In the laws of Shavuos Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 494:4 it instructs us to read from Parshas Yisro the section of the Aseres HaDibros the Ten Statements. *The Mogen Avraham Rav Avraqham Gombiner explains the double set of cantillation as does the Chofetz Chaim in his commentary the Biur Halacha. There is a double trope (cantillation notes) on the words of the Aseres HaDibros, one set on top of the words and one set on the bottom of the words. The custom is to use and chant the words with the bottom trope in private but when reading for the Minyan, we use the top called Taam Elyon. The difference in the cantillation notes breaks up the words so that there is only commandment per verse no matter how long or short the commandment is. The other method joins a few of the Mitzvos together in one longer section and not to be broken up when reading as an individual. When reading in public, such as on  Shavuos, it can be broken up.

I would like to suggest the symbolic sides of the individual verses are similar to the individual person while the clunking together of verses represents the Klal, the general picture of the Jewish people. The fact that we sometimes read it one way or the other demonstrates the ability to maintain a personal relationship with individual people and at the same time from a group perspective.

We as Jews should recognize this dual ability of God and try to emulate it in working through our own relationships. On the one hand, we need to make each and every person feel unique while making them realize that they – and we - are part of the Tzibbur and are just as equal to their counterparts or relatives. We will never reach the perfection of Hashem but we can certainly strive to create a better atmosphere within our families and have more Shalom within our immediate and national family.

Ah Gut Shabbos

Rabbi Avraham Bogopulsky

*Avraham Abele Gombiner (c. 1635 – 5 October 1682), known as the Magen Avraham, born in Gąbin (Gombin), Poland, was a rabbi, Talmudist and a leading religious authority in the Jewish community of Kalish, Poland during the seventeenth century. His full name is Avraham Avli ben Chaim HaLevi from the town of Gombin. There are texts that list his family name as Kalisch after the city of his residence.^[1] After his parents were killed in the Chmielnicki massacres of 1648, he moved to live and study with his relative in Leszno, Jacob Isaac Gombiner.

He is known to scholars of Judaism for his Magen Avraham commentary on the Orach Chayim section of Rabbi Joseph Karo's Shulchan Aruch, which he began writing in 1665 and finished in 1671. His brother Yehudah traveled in 1673 to Amsterdam to print the work, but did not have the needed funds, and died on the journey. It was not published until 1692 by Shabbethai Bass in Dyhernfurth after Rabbi Gombiner’s death. His son Chaim wrote in the preface to the work that his father was frequently sick and suffered pain and discomfort.

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